You Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours

I write in my blog for creative purposes only.

Granted, everyone starts writing a blog for various reasons but mine was constructed to keep my brain fresh for my other writing (screenplays, novels, etc.). Therefore, I don't do much "advertising" of my blog. I don't hide it in the least bit but you won't catch me shoving it down anyone's throat either. So, it kind of irritates me when people, who I KNOW NEVER read my blog, TELL me to read theirs. It becomes more irritating when I have people set up in my Blog List and I'm alerted whenever they post a blog but they STILL will find some kind of way to say, "Have you read my new blog?"

Please....give me a chance to read it, first and second, don't ask me why I didn't comment. I probably didn't have anything to say and sometimes I don't want to leave a "LOL" or "good blog".

Sometimes it becomes obvious that the same person who wants to ask you if you've read their blog probably hasn't read yours because you aren't some popular blogger or gossip site. The reality about blogging is, just because you have a blog, it doesn't make you a good writer, or even a writer for that matter. There are some blogs that I read because they entertain me; other blogs I read because the author REALLY is a good writer.

I pay attention to certain things when I read blogs and if I'm too distracted by these things, I will more than likely stop reading the blog altogether. For instance, grammatical errors that are obviously made because yo azz don't proofread or spell check before you hit "PUBLISH POST". Granted, if I know the person offline, I might still read their blog from time to time but my interest might not be there 100%. My attention has to be arrested if I'm going to take the time to sit down and read anything because I have a lot going on during the day...Babybottoms being 90% of what's going on.

This is not just limited to blogs; people ask me all the time if I've checked this out or that out that they are doing or involved in. There is nothing wrong with self-promotion but if you can't relay anything I've written in the last 3 months back to me, don't bother. I don't think people realize how self-important and arrogant that is. If you want people to be interested in what you are doing, you've got to be interested in what other folks are doing. It's the universal cycle of things. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

So, if you want to fix your lips to ask me if I've supported your efforts at anything, please make sure that you are supporting me as well. Thanks!

*Sigh*

None of my family have had the privilege of meeting Babybottoms in person...because we all live in different states. However, I did do my part and alert family members as to my due date, as well as when she actually came into this world. So far, the only grandparent of mine who has taken any interest in my child's existence is my mother's mom. That grandmother has been there for me for pretty much EVERYTHING so I didn't expect anything less but I'm kind of salty about my other two grandmothers.

My dad's biological mother didn't even acknowledge the baby shower invitation I sent her, nor did she return my phone call. She has no problem calling and paying attention to her other grandchildren though.

My dad's stepmother....she's the one I REALLY want to hit over the head with a brick. Because she's so damn old and bitter, I'm going to give her a pass. My sister recently moved around the corner from her so I asked her to show our grandmother the pictures. When my sister let our grandmother know that I had a baby her response was so evil. The first words out of her mouth were, "Is she married"; after my sister replied she said, "I guess she went out and got herself a baby just like you". To be honest, I might have hung up on her had I been on the phone. My sister handled it pretty well though and stated that while we weren't raised to have children out of wedlock, the baby is here now and that is what the family should be concerned about. Our grandmother went on to say some more nasty things about us and our children. I'll probably never talk to her again.

I know my grandmother is old and miserable because of her current situation but there are people like her who aren't old and I will never tolerate their behavior. She didn't even want to know my daughters name. While it kind of hurts, I just focus on all of the people who love Babybottoms and who have been supportive of her birth.

And people wonder why my friends are more like family, then my blood relatives....

Self-Control is NOT a Gender Bias Attribute

When we found out I was pregnant, we IMMEDIATELY hoped for a boy; months later, we found out we were having a girl. I had a tinge of disappointment but when the doctor told me she was 100% healthy, my disappointment faded and I was still just as happy before I knew the gender of my child. My reasoning for wanting a boy was that it would be easier and I wouldn't have to deal with "female" issues. You can be rough with boys; you have to be more gentle with girls. Sugarcoating would be a thing of the past with a little boy; with a little girl, I'd have to be sensitive to her feelings.

The more I thought about the supposed differences between raising a boy and a girl the more I saw that it had been deeply ingrained in me to treat boys different from girls, in a LOT of aspects. Is this fair? Hell no but I think as a society, people are conditioned to mistreat boys on an emotional level because there was/is this belief perpetuated that any male who shows too much emotion is considered homo. Mind you, no one takes into consideration that anger is an emotion but it seems that is the only emotion people automatically associate with men.

This in turn got me to thinking about the things that females can get away with that males are made to feel downright awful for.

I'm a fair person so I'm sure it wouldn't have taken long for me to realize I needed to make some adjustments...if I'd had a boy. I think God made the right decision by giving me a girl. I came to this conclusion after witnessing so many women in my Twitter timeline who REALLY and HONESTLY feel that domestic violence (when it's the man abusing the woman) is NEVER to be tolerated BUT when the roles are reversed, it becomes a laughing matter.

I've never thought it was hilarious for ANYONE to put their hands on the next person OR a persons belongings. I wholeheartedly believe in self-defense, regardless of it being man on man, woman on man, or a man on woman attack. Think about it...what kind of world do we live in where it says as a woman, you are free to defend yourself if someone attacks you but as a man, if you defend yourself against a woman, you are AUTOMATICALLY guilty until proven innocent? Mothers who have sons...you do realize that can possibly put your son in a compromising position one day? Sisters who have brothers...think about if his girlfriend or even just some female he was entertaining felt the need to put her hands on your brother and/or his belongings...should he just have to sit there and get slapped in the face, punched in the jaw, ran over by a car, or have his stuff vandalized?

Just because someone is a male, that doesn't mean their feelings cease to exist and they feel no pain.

I read a blog about domestic violence and some of the comments were totally absurd to me. So absurd that if I see ANY comments on this blog where it turns into a flat out disregard for men who have to deal with this, I will delete your comment. This is a serious issue to me because one wrong move on behalf of ANY man and he is EASILY labeled a woman beater for the rest of his life. What if he was simply trying to keep a crazed chick out of his face? According to our f*cked up justice system and some clearly biased women, it doesn't matter because he's a man and is stronger.

Being physically stronger does not mean ANYONE gets a right to hit you AND that has to be the weakest debate point I've ever heard in my life. A lot of women want to be viewed equally to men but when it comes time to measure out the equality in this area, there are a lot of women who cower in their gender as though women MUST be viewed as the weaker sex in this instance. Sorry fickle minded women...you can't have it both ways. You can't be shouting to the rooftops about having equal opportunities when it comes to men and then want to bend the rules when it comes to showing self-control.

It isn't funny when a man puts his hands on a woman, REGARDLESS of the reason just as it is EQUALLY not funny when a woman decides she's going to lay hands on a man. If it makes a man a punk for allowing a woman to hit him and he not hit her back then the same goes for a woman who does not defend herself; she's a punk too. Personally, I do not feel that a person who does not retaliate is weak. It sincerely bothers me that some women will choose to do things to provoke a man to wrath just so that it can be later said that "he still didn't have a right to hit me". While she is correct with that statement, I fault ANY woman who chooses to destroy a man's ego and/or property because she's upset. If a man busted windows out and keyed a car, slashed tires, and/or got his sister/female cousins to whoop your azz, it'd be a problem but it's okay for us as women to involve our family/friends in a violent situation and/or vandalize property because we're upset? It isn't fair and regardless of what you tell yourself so that you can sleep soundly at night, you and your actions are wrong if you behave like this. What I fault women who do asinine shat like this for is THEIR lack of self-control. You can't DEMAND that men have an attribute you are CHOOSING not to display either.

My mother raised me to talk things out with people. My father raised me to keep my hands to myself BUT to NEVER let someone hit me and think that was going to be the end of the situation. I came to a happy medium by reasoning with people first; if that was not good enough and I felt for even one second someone was about to swing on me, I swing first. I AM NOT ADVOCATING VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND HERE. I just believe every person should have a right to defend themselves, regardless of their sex.

So when I look at my daughter, I think about all the things I have to teach her. She has to learn that just because she is a woman, she doesn't get special "rights" that men don't get. Regardless of this being a "man's world", I want to instill the kind of values in her where she can decipher right from wrong and realize that she doesn't get any passes simply because she is "the lesser sex". I want her to treat people how she would want to be treated; if she doesn't want/like anyone just swinging on her, then she needs to learn to keep her hands to herself too. I don't want her to hang around other little girls that think it's okay to smack little boys and then tell on them when they get their ponytails yanked. As she gets older, it will become young ladies and women who condone abusing men but crying when they get abused.

It's tough being a parent and the more I look at my daughter, I realize that it doesn't matter whether I had a boy or a girl; it would still be up to me and my partner to raise them with some common sense. Let's hope that all my years of raising her isn't destroyed by the simple minds of others.

P.S. - for anyone who wants to use statistics as a reason we should care more about abused women than men, please, spare me; just because some numbers show that women are more victimized by violent acts, it doesn't mean it's okay for women to abuse men or that it should be ignored. If you have a problem with that, think about other statistics. There are statistics out there of Black people who are wealthy and live great lives. So because those statistics exist, we shouldn't care about the Black people who aren't wealthy and living in impoverished urban areas? No matter what side of the coin you are on, your life and well-being STILL matters.

Secular Music is The Debil! (channel Waterboy's momma)

If I hear one more person try to convince me or anyone else that the A-listers of music are all Satan worshippers, I just might spit on someone.

A while back I wrote a blog about Beyonce's recent videos and her lack of creativity because they all seemed to showcase her pussy poppin skills...not really dancing. You know as well as I do that we ALL can do her dance moves...while having sex. Sure, it'd be rough sex but it could be done. She's no Janet or J.Lo (don't fixate on Janet's outfit or J. Lo's fall during the previous awards; all shade aside, you know them heffas can dance better than you and most folks); she's more of an around the way girl who knows how to move those big hips her momma gave her. But I digress...after posting that blog about Queen Creole on Blogger, I chose to post it as a Note on Facebook.

*sigh*

Someone I went to high school decided it would be the opportune time to post a few YouTube links in regards to the occult having something to do with The Roc and Beyonce. I withheld my initial response (initial response: STFU please. Thank you.) and asked if he created the blog and the videos with which he was sharing. His response? Absolute silence....as it should have been because I am positive that information was not anything he had researched himself. See what I mean about people being easily led? Think for yourself dammit!

Anyway, the information he chose to digest, he also chose to share with others, I suppose in an effort to get people to feel the way he does but I don't. All of these allegations about certain people with a certain amount of celebrity being Satan worshippers? I'll pass and I'll tell you why.

If these people making these accusations had proof, and I'm not talking about them attempting to attach occult symbolism to Kanye's hairdo, Rihanna's eye makeup, or the color of Beyonce's dress, I'd put my side eye away long enough to do my own research. I don't feel the need to BECAUSE their alleged "proof" is SO suspect! These people are clowns; I'm sorry but that's how I feel. Seriously, if The Roc is part of an occult backing, why aren't you focusing on Dame Dash too? He too was affiliated with The Roc (helped created Roc-A-Fella) and still does business under the name, somewhat (see: BlakRoc). But no, it was ONLY specific people targeted.

Along with accusing JayZ, Beyonce, Rihanna, and Kanye of being disciples of Satan, they keep saying that Masons are part of the Illuminati and blah, blah, blah. Of course, this too is based on some symbols that OTHER organizations use as well BUT...no one is calling them Satan worshippers. I do believe the sorority of Delta Sigma Theta, uses the same damn triangle as The Roc hand symbol that can be attached to the Masons, the dollar bill, and Delta airlines. So am I not supposed to book any airplane flights with Delta? Am I not supposed to use USA currency because I am doing transactions of a demonic nature if I touch paper money? If my daughter decides she wants to pledge as a Delta, am I supposed to deter her from that course? You see how utterly silly their symbolism is? VERY.

I've also heard some foolishness about Satan being the King of Music in heaven (when he was there) so it makes sense that he is controlling these musicians. I've asked EVERYONE who has said this EXACTLY where that is stated in the Bible. I have yet to get an answer and if that is the case, should we be listening to ANY music? If we are gonna call someone Satan's henchmen, why can't it be Gucci Mane or Wacka Flocka? I hate them (not really, but you get my point LOL). Also, what if you aren't a reader of the Bible or even a Christian? Does the demonic influence still apply? Religion does the most at times...

My point to all of this foolishness is please don't be that person agreeing with these other celebrity morons about A-listers being Satan worshippers. Tiffany Evans, go get your proof that they drink each others blood and maybe someone will listen to you. Frankly, you just sound jealous. Omarion, you shut up too. If either of them had Kanye or Beyonce's money, they'd be somewhere on an island chilling, not worried about the next person. I've never been able to tolerate people who can make accusations but when you ask for proof say lame shit like "Oh, if I told you, I'd get in trouble" or " I can't tell you who told me". Well if you can't, why are you talking to me or anyone else for that matter? You've already cast doubt in many people's minds because, regardless of your level of celebrity, you still have fans who listen to you. Now, a lot of them HONESTLY believe what you're saying. So while you're busy trying to expose someone else, you're leading people down a path that they need to research themselves....especially if you can't provide substantial information that what you're saying is actually the truth.

As long as no one is saying kill babies in the name of Christ in their music when you play it backwards, I'm listening to it. Music is and has always been another form of entertainment to me. I do not take lyrics and apply them to my life as though they were written for me and I need to do EXACTLY what's in the song. I have better sense than that and I hope to the Almighty being above, you do too.

I Swear I'll Be Back To Blogging Soon!

My blogging has been on a hiatus because I've been consumed with my little person, Babybottoms. I always knew being a mother was a full-time job but now...I KNOW all the work that is required just to make sure my little grub gets enough food and rest each day. Being laid off sucks because I'm left with my measly unemployment money but I'm kind of glad I have this time off to be with her while she's so young. I get an opportunity many mothers only wish they had.

I've been hesitating on writing anything because I knew it would start out with me talking about my baby. How typical! I got over it and finally decided to write.

In the midst of caring for the kiddo, I've had time on my hands to watch things on youtube while I'm feeding her that I never would have looked twice at; in between feedings and diaper changes, I've been somewhat entertained by the buffoonish grown folks on Twitter and Facebook. After LITERALLY laughing out loud at some of these characters, I looked at a calendar to make sure I didn't miss Babybottoms next doctor appointment, only to see that I'll be 30 on Sunday.

It isn't that I forgot, per se, it just hasn't been as important as I thought it would be. Everyone has been in my ear about DOING IT BIG for my 30th but seriously....how big can I do it with a 2 month old? Ain't gonna happen.

I felt this overwhelming sense of irresponsibility when I began to think about going out of town for 1 day. Just yesterday I had a doctor appointment at 10 am and then a hair appt at 12:30. I left the house at 9:30 am and didn't return until 3:30 pm. That just about killed me! I missed her like crazy! So how in the hell am I going to leave her somewhere overnight? Can't do it yet.

So my 30th will be spent with Babybottoms dad; dinner and a movie. Simple? Sure and I don't mind at all. Tonight one of my dear friends is taking me out to dinner and I think a few others might meet up with us but I'm honestly not salty about it. My 30th bday is still pivotal in my life history...my first child was born before I turned 30 ;)

In the last 9 months, I have learned to appreciate the little things in life a lot more than I did before. Seeing Babybottoms smile in the morning during playtime on November 22nd will be a pretty good birthday gift, as far as I am concerned. Sure, there are things that I want that folks could buy me for my birthday but no gift will compare to my little bundle of joy I get to nurture and influence for the rest of my life. Children are supposed to be gifts from God and I thank him everyday for mine. I've got the perfect kid for me.

I had to get this out so I can get back to work on the rest of my writing. My arms are usually full of her so now that I have a free moment, I needed to jump start my creativity. Maybe she'll stay sleep long enough so I can finish up my True Thoughts column.

Feel free to keep up with me in Gemini Magazine:
http://www.thegeminimagazine.com/index.html

I'll be back to my usual ranting and raving soon folks! :)

Thought I'd share the sunshine that I get to see everyday, with everyone (see photo below). Isn't she the cutest??? (I'm not a bias mommy; if she was oogly, I wouldn't even be talking about her hahhahhaa)

Natural Elitist...Please Sit Down and Shut Up

NEWSFLASH: just because you do not have a relaxer does not mean your quality of life is any better than mine...or that you love yourself more than I do...or that you are Blacker than me.

The truth is, regardless of the texture or "state" of your hair, it STILL takes effort to keep it looking presentable. Well, unless you are that person who prides themselves on wearing a ponytail everyday (even though you have a relaxer) or wearing that thirsty looking afro because you want to brag and boast that you don't use anything but juices and berries in your hair. Get over it...it being yourself AND your hair.

I have read TONS of blogs and comments on natural hair and some of the things that people insinuate and believe, in regards to hair, are UTTERLY ridiculous. It has NEVER made any sense to me when women pride themselves on not relaxing their hair but wear nothing but STRAIGHT WEAVES. You might as well cut all your REAL hair off and wear a bangin wig because no one sees your hair on a regular basis...not even you. I want it to make sense, I really do but it just doesn't.

As for the belief that the reason Black women relax their hair is because they want to look like White women...kill yourself. YOU might want to look like another race but don't speak for me or anyone else if that's YOUR retarded thinking. I am comfortable in my own skin, even though it happens to be Black. As far as my hair goes, I relax my hair because I don't WANT to grow out my natural hair and wrestle with it every day. When it is short, it is a breeze to deal with; when it gets past my shoulders, it's a bit of a drag...WHETHER IT'S RELAXED OR NATURAL. Just because it takes you no time to run your fingers through your natural hair, that doesn't mean THAT is the same experience for ALL women with natural hair. I don't like to walk out of my house looking a hot azz mess so it takes me some time to do my hair, WHETHER IT'S RELAXED OR NATURAL. Point here, EVERYONE'S hair (regardless of its "state") is not the same.

As for this belief created by some insecure moron that "good hair" is when you have a less kinky texture...you're an idiot. I have tons of friends who have so called "good hair" and STILL have a difficult time with their grooming. They have to deal with tangling, frizz, cowlicks, and other hair issues that someone with "bad hair" has to deal with also. I've heard them talk about how much they hate their hair because it is not very easy to manage. Just because the grass looks greener on her head doesn't mean it's any easier to comb, you sad pitiful wenches.

Whatever happened to self love? Okay so you hate YOUR hair. Deal with it. Find a style that suits your face, head, "look" and go with it. If it happens to be natural, embrace that and move on. Don't sit there and create reasons why women who relax their hair are exuding deeper issues within themselves that date back to slavery. Really? If that allows you to sleep at night after moisturizing your TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), I guess.

I've never pondered on the women who choose to wear dreads, afros, and/or non-relaxed hair. Someone elses hair is not my concern and I most definitely don't IMMEDIATELY think that you are trying to reach back to your ancestors and show reverence for what they experienced through your hair. It's NEVER that serious. Really, it isn't. I guess the people who have all these theories for women who like their hair straight have all the time in the world to list them.

Point is, worry about YOUR reasons for why you do what you do and stop spending so much time accusing, speculating, and being a know-it-all about some damn hair that doesn't concern you. Also, all the women who "felt some kind of way" about Chris Rock's movie Good Hair, really think about how much energy you are giving to that movie. It's a man's perspective on hair....a comedian males perspective. Please tell me you aren't taking ANYTHING he says seriously. As for the women (read: celebs) in the documentary who contributed their 2 cents, I wouldn't lend much credit to ANYTHING they say either. Let them get the right movie role and one of the requirements is that she has to relax her hair; she'll be the first person in the salon asking for the creamy crack.

As India Arie said, "I am not my hair". Therefore, stop analyzing hair so much and concern yourself with something worth worrying about. For me, that's Babybottoms.

Daddy...Getcho A** Off Facebook! Please and Thank You.

*sigh*

My dad is on Facebook. I know, I know...FML.

The ironic thing about it is that it is my fault. I was attempting to keep my parents and Babybottoms other grandparents in the loop with the baby pictures. I thought it would be much easier to send them a link to the photo album. What I wasn't aware of was that Facebook takes the opportune time to suck non-users into their vortex by asking them to join but they say it like the person MUST join if they want to see the album...sneaky bastards.

So my father joins. Dammit...

When I call him to see why he now has an account, he tells me that his first thought when it asked him to join was " I don't wanna join this stupid network". Really? But you did it anyway...I liteweight smell some false words hear. He goes on to say how he's gonna delete the account after he sees Babybottoms pictures.

The REAL funny thing about how I found out he had the account was one of my brothers old friends he grew up with sent me an email asking if it was my dad or brother sending him a friend request. Dad...you aren't slick. If you were deleting your account why you sending friend requests to folks? If you don't getcho tail off the internet playing games.

So I go to his page the other day because my cousin sent me a friend request and I noticed that we had 3 people in common. I see my two older cousins....then the third person is my dad. Daddy....YOU SAID YOU WERE DELETING YOUR ACCOUNT!!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL ON FACEBOOK???? BEAT IT!!!

Something told me to go see if he had added other people...this fool got 18 friends. I almost want to send him a text message asking if I look like an idiot to him and then I see this face that is unfamiliar to me. Out of his 18 friends, this woman is the ONE person I've NEVER seen before. I know I'm in Georgia and he's in Texas but he was getting the major side eye over this...who is this random woman in your friends???

I click on her picture and her profile is private and then it hits me....THIS IS THE EX-GIRLFRIEND FROM WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER...THE ONE HE BROKE UP WITH MY MOM FOR. Yeah...this is some foolishness and I know he had to go search for her because his friends he has are mainly family and the ones who aren't family don't know this beezy.

I told one of my friends and she told me to dry snitch on him to my mom.

I did think about "accidentally" sending my mom a Facebook invitation...then I thought about the drama that might ensue from that and quickly decided against it. Granted, it could be innocent but best believe I got my eye on my dad's wall from that point forward. He's on my stomping grounds now and would want to act right before I have to set it off in this biotch....

FYI, for everyone who is like "Ummm, doesn't your parents read your blog", the answer to that is "No" and this one most certainly won't be getting posted on Facebook neither hahahhahahaa

Just A Day in My Life...

After much deliberation and sucking up of my pride, I decided to take advantage of "the system" that I had been paying taxes to for 15 years. Since I was laid off work during one of the worst economical times, I figured it wouldn't hurt to get W.I.C. and food stamps since I have to eat and so does the kid. If I hadn't been pregnant when I got laid off AND able to get another job right away, "the system" wouldn't even have been a thought passing through. I HATE government agencies because of how they treat people but...I'm no fool and I aint going hungry...neither is Babybottoms.

So until I find gainful employment that will provide for her and myself, this is helping out LOTS.

My hatred for government agencies has always stemmed from their lack of acknowledgement that the people they deal with EVERYDAY are REAL people. They treat EVERYONE who applies for "assistance" like they are all living in the hood and that they are all ghetto. Take for instance the 2 young women who were sitting in the waiting area when I walk up to take a seat.

The young lady that was there collecting her W.I.C. couldn't have been any older than 15...I am sure she isn't the only high school student in Atlanta who comes to this office. Her conversation consisted of who she was going to get to babysit her 3 mth old daughter so she could go to the football game this weekend. Within the same 15 minutes of that discussion with her friend, she says that school aint that big of a deal for her but she is going to stress the importance of an education to her daughter...huh???? The conversation pauses for a minute for the other young lady to whip out 2 cell phones and she quickly states that one is her boyfriends that she "stole" while he was sleep...strictly for the purpose of reading all his text messages, emails, and checking his phone log. Mind you, they are being HELLA loud about these asinine conversations....and then the conversation just got ridiculous.

Anyone who can sit IN A GOVERNMENT AGENCY and say out loud that their 4 year old cooks fried chicken and boiling noodles for spaghetti needs an overly healthy dose of common sense and act right. The 15 yr old says quite loudly that DEFACS needs to be called on her friend but laughs it off when the friends says that the 4 year old uses the microwave to cook so it's okay because he knows not to put metal or foil in there...you can't fry chicken in the microwave, 1, and 2....this does not make it okay, you unfit mother. I wanted to kick her in the ovaries so that she did not have the ability to sire anymore children.

So I can understand WHY some government agency employees work with the blank, rude stare like, when is this day going to be over but EVERY person who walks in is not like this. Like me...

After speaking to a woman and being told that I have to sit and wait until this other lady comes to work, I start sending Babybottoms dad messages about the loud youngsters across from me. In walks 3 Latin women, one has a son.

Now, anyone who lives in Atlanta can tell you that yesterday morning, it was chilly outside. I had my jacket on the entire time I was in the office. So please explain to me why this little boy that was with one of the Latin women had on sandals, shorts, and a hoody???? Please explain that.

He was just sniffling his life away and I felt bad for him....until he started coughing like he had tuberculosis...on my arm. I prayed to the sweet baby Jesus to keep me from backhanding him AND his momma into the parking lot outside the window. I have a 3.5 week old baby at home. I DO NOT need, nor WANT, your nasty ass germs on me, lil heathen! So I give him the ice glare and he turns away like he just shat his pants. The little boy is so sick, I can smell the cold seeping out of his pores. All I could think was lord please let me get out of here so I can get some Airborne and Lysol!

I was told to get to the office at 9 am....I look down at the time on my phone and it's 9:30. I can't sit next to this walking germ for another 30 minutes but I don't have a choice really. I had a c-section so standing really isn't an option and there aren't any chairs left....dammit.

FINALLY, the lady I need to see comes strolling in with McDonalds and coffee in her hand...at 10:10 am. For real? This is what we do? We come to work an hour late? Yet another reason WHY I hate government agencies. As if her being an hour and 10 minutes late is not enough, this heffa decides it's a good idea to eat her food before seeing the people who came in to get their vouchers (I am one of those people). We were ALL enraged by this but the thick plexiglass between her and us gave her a sense of security that allowed her to continue eating in our faces.

The lady I initially saw told me at 9:30 am to wait until my name was called and then decides to check on me when she sees I'm still sitting there at 10:15 am. She asks me if I signed my name on the clipboard to be called. I feel like giving her a blank stare because she knows I signed my name on that damn board...she called my name off the board to talk to me when I first came in! I still politely say that my name is signed and the lady JUST got in 5 minutes ago so I'm waiting on her.

She finally calls my name around 11 am. I walk up to the counter and all she asks me was what my daughters name was, then sends me back to my seat. 10 minutes go by and she calls me again to ask me what my full name is. Mind you, she has ALL this information in front of her so I have no idea why she is asking me for shat she already has. Did I mention I had a c-section? Yea, all that getting up and down, not what's really good. So I inform her that I had a c-section and I would appreciate it if she needs something else from me to ask me now because the up and down is not the business. She gives me that well practiced government agency glare and goes on about her business. She doesn't tell me to have a seat or that she'll be done in a minute but I decide to stay at the counter. She finishes up about 7 minutes later and says, "Now I have to do the same paperwork I did for your daughter, for you. Can you stand that long?"

I ask her how long my paperwork is going to take and when she lets me know 10 minutes or more, I go sit down. She doesn't call me again until 11:30 and I am SO ready to leave by this time.

By the time I walked out of that building, it became my resolve to look for employment with a government agency because someone, somewhere has to make a difference. Granted, the people who come into the agencies needing assistance might not always be to my liking but hell, they need help too and just because you're ignorant as hell, doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like a lesser human being.

Sorry, this was more of a rant about my morning at the W.I.C. office than anything else LOL

Indignant Fools

Last I checked, Morehouse College was a PRIVATE institution for MEN...did that change within the last few weeks/months/years? If so, please make me aware...that's right, it hasn't changed...AT ALL. So with those two facts still standing, someone please tell me why ALL these WOMEN are up in arms about the dress code...no arguments have made sense thus far.

When I was in high school I can remember some of the kids from nearby private schools complaining about wearing uniforms but I PROMISE you they had better test scores than the public schools. As odd as this might sound, education was the main concern and when you aren't worried about what you are wearing to school and whether or not you're "cool", it frees up more time to focus on what's important...YOUR EDUCATION.

The keywords in the above paragraph are: private schools.

Am I the only one who KNOWS what that means? In public schools, there are certain things that are allowed across the board because we live in a politically correct society but guess what happens in private schools? They make rules and anyone attending has to follow them. End of discussion. Frankly, I think that the dress code is in line with what Morehouse claims to want young men who attend their school to be..."renaissance men". Is it so wrong that a MEN'S COLLEGE wants its attendees to represent the school in a particular manner? No. When these young men enrolled at Morehouse, it was clear what was represented there and if it wasn't, they always have the freedom to go learn elsewhere.

I think the biggest uproar comes from this part of the dress code:

"no women's garb"

But again...this is a MEN'S COLLEGE so what is wrong with making that a part of the dress code? NOTHING AT ALL. This is all in an effort for the Five Wells to be implemented on campus:

"well read, well spoken, well-traveled, well dressed and well balanced"

When I read that part of the dress code, I didn't automatically think that they were hating on students who were outwardly homosexual. The other things that were listed as "no-no's", I looked at as distractions...just like I would if a man walked into class with a dress, purse, and pumps on. My attention would be just as diverted from the professor if some clown walked in like it was Halloween the same as if some idiot decided not to take off his pajamas, wear shades, and a doo-rag to class. I would equally wonder what was wrong with both of these men.

I wonder if the same women who are upset by these dress standards would be upset if Morehouse decided everyone would wear loafers, khaki's, vests, and button ups. But again, I say...IT'S A MEN'S COLLEGE...WHY IN THE F*CK DO YOU CARE ANYWAY???

When I Say "Thank You", You're Supposed To Respond With "You're Welcome"

Since my last blog I posted I've had a baby and my entire body has gone through numerous changes. I've started writing about 5 blogs only to save them and never go back to finish. Changing diapers, feeding the kiddo, and nursing my "wound" (I had a c-section) consume my day to day process. Even when I get a few minutes to write or finish what I started, I doze off and wake up to a little fist nudging me, signaling that the next feeding is supposed to be taking place.

According to Babybottoms dad, "it's a piece of cake"; I told him to say that after his stomach muscles have been cut through and then he has to pop a tit in a baby's mouth every hour (yes, my baby is greedy as hell). It is not a piece of cake but when she smiles, no lie, it's worth all the pain (sometimes....LOL).

So you would think being consumed with this little face below, I'd have nothing more to think about than her...wrong. I have a pretty active mind and since I have more than enough time on my hands, I started going through all the gifts I received for her.

I started my thank you cards but never got around to putting them in the mail so I emailed the people who got me gifts. No one replied. How rude, right? I stopped caring about them not replying after 2 seconds...the people I was confused about not replying were the folks who haven't spoken to me in years that sent gifts.

When I say they haven't spoken to me, it's been due to them disappearing out of my life for God knows what reason or I've decided they weren't as a good a friend as they thought they were and I distanced myself....either way, those people are not obligated to buy my child anything. They aren't even obligated to acknowledge she's alive....so I find it VERY weird that they decide to care enough to buy her a gift and then go back to being "dead" when I say thank you. This makes me feel like I've wasted gratitude on them and it makes me wonder what they sent the gift for in the first place. Did you send it as a segue to opening our friendship back up? Did you send it to make yourself look good or like the "bigger person"? Why did you send MY DAUGHTER something if you were just going to ignore HER MOTHER?

It makes no sense to me and it comes across as rude...

Some people might say, "Well, if you weren't speaking already, why do you care?", the truth is, I didn't care....until they sent their damn gifts. By them buying her a gift, I have the option of accepting it and then HAVING to be cordial/nice and saying thank you OR declining the gift and expressing to them that since they can't speak to me any other time, please don't buy my daughter stuff. Unfortunately, I quickly become the bad guy if I choose the latter option...

I was just raised with manners and "you're welcome" is just as mannerable (is that a word? I don't care) as "thank you" so it makes me go hmmm...

Anyway, I should be back to writing in a bit just lately the things I've had an opinion on might light some folks short fuses and I don't feel like hearing foolish retard statements regarding common sense type things at the moment (i.e. President Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize).

Seriously, Let's Be Honest...

I know the majority of people who peruse my blog saw the showy display of foolishness Kanye exhibited last night so there is no need to recap exactly what he did. What I want to talk about is all of the people REALLY acting like what he did was ok and that everyone should just laugh it off as just another Kanye moment.

The truth is, he KEEPS behaving like a clown ass fool because no one has hauled off and punched him in his mouth yet. One good sock to the dome and I bet he'll stay in his lane.

Now, regardless of who you might personally feel should have won that award, don't let that be the reason for you pardoning disrespectful acts towards another person. First off, if you don't listen to country music, it would make sense that you would not have voted for Taylor Swift. If you are a Beyonce fan, it would make sense why you wouldn't have voted for ANYONE else in that category but ANYONE who CHOOSES to stand before someone and say NOTHING was wrong with what he did...that makes you an ass clown too.

Imagine if that was one of your children...hell, if that was you! You or your child has the opportunity to express gratitude for winning something for the very first time and some jackass comes up and ruins THE ENTIRE MOMENT by saying someone else deserved to win. First off, THAT IS AN OPINION, NOT A FACT TO BE USED IN A NON-DEBATABLE ARGUMENT. Personally, I do not think Beyonce should have won the award because I didn't like that video...and the song is an anthem far too many women sing in an effort to FORCE a man to give them something they 9 times out of 10 don't deserve. Yeah, Beyonce has a ring but did you ever stop and think that MAYBE she deserves it? You scallywag, who does nothing but bitch, complain, and nag the man you're with, that isn't you. But we're getting off the point...

According to a good handful of buffoons "Kanye said what everyone was thinking". Everyone who? Don't speak for ALL Black people and DEFINITELY don't speak for all music lovers because WE ALL weren't thinking that retard shat. Some people ACTUALLY respect all genres of music, regardless of how much we listen to them, so no, WE ALL weren't thinking that. Anyone who said that, go sit down in the corner next to Kanye for generalizing on some bullshat.

So I am positive that Twitter will be chock full of people commenting on White people's reactions to what Kanye did to Taylor Swift (she's White in case you didn't notice). People...this is an "L" we're gonna have to take because have SOME sense and think about if this was the other way around. Imagine if some BIG A-list White celebrity would have ran up on the stage while Rhi Rhi was accepting an award stating that their "homie" should have won instead. All the racist hates would have come flying out the closet, Al Sharpton would have been called, and Twitter would have been set ablaze with racial remarks about how White people don't want us to have ANYTHING. Am I lying? If you say yes, that makes YOU a liar. It happens ANYTIME someone Black gets "mistreated" in the media.

I'm not saying that today, this week, or this month, White people get a pass to throw every Black person under the bus. No. I have VERY low tolerance for ANY type of unnecessary racially tinged remark coming out of anyones mouth, no matter what their color is. However, what I am saying is if some White people are mad that a Black person shatted on one of their country stars, reverse the roles and realize, they are human beings too.

Kanye caused a mess. Period.

He put Beyonce in a bad position...she did nothing wrong but had to apologize to Taylor to save face, or go down in flames with his silly ass. He owes MTV, Taylor, and Beyonce PERSONAL apologies...not some shat he hastily went and typed on his blog to take some of the heat off himself.

So am I gonna be all dramatic and throw away every cd I've purchased of his? No. I don't throw money away and Kanye's random outbursts do not control my ability to recognize good music when I hear it. However, he does get a permanent side eye until he learns some self-control and chooses to display the manners his mother taught him.

Takers

I read about this movie a while ago when they had first started the production on it. Chris Brown was being interviewed while he was on the set but I wasn't sure as to how long it was going to take before it came out. With everything going on in his personal life, as well as, Clifford Harris' (T.I.), I wasn't quite sure if it was going to be released at all.

It is set for a February release date and as you can see from the picture at the top, it has an all star cast. I don't read too many reviews on movies because I respect the craft far too much to take some rooty poot assholes opinion about a movie they've never seen and base whether or not I'll be going to see it off that. If you read my blog frequently, you could have gathered by now that I like to view the "big picture" before giving my opinion on pretty much anything. If all things are taken into consideration before you state your personal opinion, you don't risk sounding like a biased asshole...more often than not.

Anyway, back to the movie...I understand the dynamics involved with creating a movie. The first thing that has to be determined is the level of money you are concerned with your movie making. To the viewers, that doesn't really matter so they are USUALLY the toughest critics. If you choose an independent route with more "no name" actors than recognizable ones, you risk not making any money...unless you're Eli Roth and happen to have a penchant so strong for blood and gore you wipe out the box office on your first try (see: Hostel and Hostel 2). The quickest recipe to getting people to come see your movie is to do what the majority of people will be attracted to: faces they know.

You see the picture above. There are 4 Black/African American faces that are easily recognizable due to their popularity factor. However, 2 of the faces have gotten more bad press in the last year than necessary so you know what that means. Before the movie is even released, you're going to have people giving this movie the side eye. When did ACTING SKILLS have anything to do with someone laying hands on a woman or purchasing illegal firearms? One has nothing to do with the other but the general public are, for lack of a better word, morons. True, some people are going to say they cannot support a film that features men who cannot obey the law but in all fairness, the movie was made before Chris had his debacle with Ms. Fenty and before Mr. Harris was tried and convicted of purchasing illegal firearms. These same people using a person's personal life to judge an entire movie would have seen the movie and probably given it accolades had the shat not hit the fan before release date.

I watched the trailer (see below) and it looks to be a very entertaining movie. However, the reviews from certain forums (they haven't seen anything but the trailer at this point either) are clearly based off personal opinions of who is IN the movie. Someone was mad that Matt Dillion wasn't featured on the ad. If you read about the movie and watch the trailer, Matt Dillion is a significant character in the movie but when you have 6 featured stars THAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT, there is no need to put his face up there. Someone felt that since Matt Dillion was a seasoned veteran of an actor, his face should have definitely been on the advertisement. Ok but again, the movie is about 6 bank robbers...umm, not Matt Dillion's acting skills. The simple mindedness of some people irritates me to no end.

The other 2 actors, I feel were decent choices. Personally, I do not think that Paul Walker is a good actor at all. Although, he arrests women's attention; he's nice to look at. It's like putting Megan Fox in a movie. She isn't anywhere as good an actress as say Natalie Portman but be honest...who is more fun to look at? Another marketing ploy in getting your movie to make money; you must put the people out there who are visually appealing, especially when it's an action film. Had this film been centralized around the drama genre, I guarantee you, the selection of actors would be totally different.

Point of my blabbering is, when you consider new movies coming out, look at the movie a little deeper than what you see on the surface. If for nothing else but the people who put time and effort into it; view it for yourself, THEN state whether or not it was a piece of shat. Enjoy the trailer!

Another Reason I HATE the Media

Ok, so we've all heard the jokes and carrying on about how unattractive Caster is. Truth is, everyone can't be pretty or even cute so that isn't even what this blog is about. Big deal, the girl isn't cute but then again Venus and Serena weren't either until they decided to spruce themselves up...entirely different blog to clown around about.

Back to Caster...

The results about Caster's gender are in and instead of the media TACTFULLY addressing the issue by offering a simple statement of "Yes, she's a woman", they put her on RIDICULOUS blast. But then again, when has the media EVER been tactful about anything pertaining to the personal lives of others? Rarely, if ever.

I used to work with this older lady who shared with me how she was a medical anomaly, so much so that her situation was used as an example in a medical journal in the country where she is from, as proof that medically, weird things do happen to people. She had 2 sets of female reproductive organs but only 1 set could carry a baby full term. Some science fiction shat, huh? But all true. In her situation, she had a choice as to whether or not she wanted the world to know about her condition...Caster had no choice whatsoever and it is almost as if the public feels more entitled to an explanation than to express any type of humanity towards her and give her some privacy.

I'd be embarrassed as hell if I'd been living as a woman ALL my life and here comes the media to tell the ENTIRE WORLD that even though I have a vagina, I can't have babies and I'm more of a man...on the inside. Imagine all the relationships she's had...if she's been involved with simpletons who would translate that as "I had sex with a man"...imagine the harassment she's about to receive.

The people who initiated this media circus around her, get to go home and sleep comfortably in their beds with their families...the media are on to the next person to harass all the while, never stopping to consider how their portrayal of others ultimately affects them once their shatstorms have ceased around the person.

I understand the whole freedom of speech thing and since I am a writer myself, I am sensitive to censorship on certain levels but the media just gets OUT OF CONTROL and no one is there to enforce ANY kind of rules on them. The media is free to report suspect information, causing one-dimensional minded people to form all these rumors and "what ifs" about people they don't even know. The media NEVER has to apologize for their outlandish behavior...NEVER. They report untrue things ALL the time and then brush it off as though it was a simple misspelling on an entrance exam.

This is a BIG reason I began to steer clear of journalism and decided interviewing "stars" was not for me. The public's blood thirst for foolishness far surpasses their quest for knowledge and truth. This situation with Caster wasn't about SINCERELY finding out IF she was a man or woman; it was another source of entertainment to many people and THAT'S sad.

I think I've run out of words on this situation because it infuriates me so much...

Honest Friends Are Hard to Find

I used this picture in one of my old MySpace blogs when I was writing about The Bestest leaving me for Florida. I stumbled on it today when I typed in "best friend" during my random photo search....

I read a blog today that made me think of something my dad asked me when I first got pregnant. He inquired as to whether I had told all my old friends yet and if I planned to. At the time, I planned on telling 2 of them, when I got around to it. The 3rd one (who I no longer consider a friend) I didn't plan on telling ever and that was the one my father was alluding to the most. He knows I'm not speaking to her and I don't plan to any time soon so when he said, "Are you gonna tell the baby to call her Auntie Evil Cousin (not her real name)", I knew he was being his sarcastic, non-humorous self.

The Peacemaker of my old crew tells me to "kiss and make up" and it would be something to consider...if I knew it wasn't just a never-ending vicious cycle that was going to be started all over again.

When you're a kid growing up and you have your best friends, not a day goes by that you think "oh, we're all going to grow apart so let me cherish this friendship while I can". You think more delusional things like "NOTHING IS GONNA SEPARATE US...we're gonna be in each others weddings, raise our kids together, and grow old together". Then reality settles in while life is happening...you grow up and unfortunately, some of you either grow apart or ignore OBVIOUS personality clashes to preserve the friendship.

Things unfortunately change...

This is what inevitably happened to the 4 of us...the other 2 still speak to the one I don't and they have their reasons but when I'm friends with someone, I'm REALLY their friend so no matter how much it would make everyone else happy for me to do it, I can't.

No really, I'm not talking about some "oh, you're friend #42" sh*t...some REAL, hey, I can be myself with you and you can be yourself with me. As a friend, I'll allow you to go in on me, when necessary, because I value what you have to say to me...but that door has to be open for me too. Otherwise, we don't have a friendship at all. I expect those we are friends with to understand that and if they have a problem with you, they should go to you and tell you, not talk about it to others...not talk about you to others; like you two aren't friends. That's ALWAYS hurt me about some of the people who call each other friends that I've been mutually acquainted with.

That isn't being honest...and it sure as hell isn't being a friend.

Aside from the 3 chicks I grew up with, there are some other people I would have loved to share my entire pregnancy with because I truly cared/care about them but no matter how old you get, it's still a hard pill to swallow that just because you were once REALLY GOOD friends, it doesn't mean it'll stay that way. Some of the GREATEST memories I have in life are of being with people who I haven't talked to in at least 2 years. I will ALWAYS count those as good times and as much as I HATE the saying "some friends are only for a designated amount of time", the kid in me still wants to stubbornly hold on to the fantastical idea that despite all the BS, you should still manage to be friends with certain people. Not everyone...just the people I REALLY liked at one point in time.

Now that I'll have a child to raise, my own personal issues have to be laid to the wayside. Anyone I continue to be friends with, I think about in reference to her. This bundle makes me second guess EVERYTHING and apply it to her. She really has become my life...and she isn't even born yet. I'm not going to be one of those maniac mom's; I just operate more like it's "Synitta and Babybottoms" vs. my old take on everything which was just "Synitta". I can only be around people who don't mind being a permanent fixture in our lives because...well, I guess the over protectiveness is kicking in and as long as I can prevent her from feeling like something is missing, I will. So people who she'll be seeing all the time, I want to feel like they'll be there forever...not just for a period of time until them and I "fall out" again.

I guess the point of all this babbling is...no matter how much I might miss or care about certain people, I know I'm not friends with them anymore because they just aren't the friends for me.

I'm about to go see my friend Stef's new baby in a second...she's definitely one of those people I'll be growing old with. I've known her since we were about 18 and even though we don't see each other ALL the time, our friendship has been solid since day one because we've ALWAYS been honest with each other about everything...you can't buy or manufacture friends like her...

Everybody STILL Hates Chris

So Chris Brown's PR thought it was a good idea for him to visit CNN and chat it up with Larry King. *sigh*

I understand that public apologies are in order because he is a public figure and blah, blah, blah but it is OBVIOUS that no matter WHAT he says or does...everyone is STILL gonna hate Chris. Chris could drain his body of every last drip of blood for some dying child that needs a transfusion and there will still be that peanut gallery section with signs saying "He STILL aint shit". My question to the general public who has SO many opinions about an OBVIOUS one-sided media perpetuated situation is:

ARE ALL OF YOU WITHOUT SIN SO MUCH THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE TO THROW THIS FOOL UNDER EVERY MOVING BUS? WHAT IF THIS WAS YOU? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERY TIME YOU OPENED YOUR MOUTH SOMEONE WAS THERE TO SHOUT "shut up! you're STILL wrong"?

I think he gets it people...he did something wrong; stop beating that hella old azz horse.

Yes, I've cracked my fair share of jokes but in all realness, I look at him no different than I would my brother or any of my guy friends involved in a HIGHLY volatile relationship. Men will be with someone that isn't necessarily the best choice because they LOVE how she makes them feel...until she starts catting off on his azz. My brother is going through the same things with his broad right now; the chick has put more scratches and cuts on my brothers face then should EVER be allowed but he won't leave her crazy azz alone. She's called the police 4 times (to my knowledge) to LIE and tell them he hit her...even though he's the one standing there bleeding and she has not one scratch, he gets carted off. That's the system folks. He told my father the other day, "She's gonna make me hit her, man". He hasn't hauled off and mauled her yet but I know my brother...when he does, she's gonna wish she never met him a day in her life. Is it right? HELL NO and if the police take him to jail, hey, your bad buddy. Can he prevent it? Yup; stop fooling with the crazy banshee...but you can't tell these kids shat these days...

Because I am able to REALISTICALLY look at all angles of this situation, people mistake that for me condoning Chris' behavior. Never that! NO ONE (this includes MEN AND WOMEN) should be putting their hands on ANYONE to get their point across and two wrongs DEFINITELY don't make a right (i.e. she hit me so I'm hitting her back). I just want people to HONESTLY look at this situation and stop ignoring IMPORTANT facts that would influence how they reacted in a situation if they were standing in his shoes when all the shat popped off.

I'm not a victim and I REFUSE to let ANYONE make me feel like one OR to begin acting like one. The media wanted Chris portrayed a certain way and the public fed into it; it isn't anything out of the norm but a LOT of people should be ashamed for ALL the judgement being cast around. I'm going to be one of the few honest people left out here and say:

If a dude hits me, I'm hitting him back or grabbing something to hit him with. I don't need to go get my girls OR tell my brother or guy friends to come put hands on him. That's my knee jerk reaction to being hit, BY ANYONE. Honestly speaking, that's MOST people's reaction to being hit...it's called self-defense.

So in what alternate universe is it okay for any man to not have a knee jerk reaction but ALL women get that reserved right? FOH!!! Again, it isn't right for me or him to haul back and hit anyone but it's a response that MOST (if not all) people have when confronted. AGAIN, THAT ISN'T ME CONDONING VIOLENCE AMID THE SEXES....it's me admitting to being human and understanding that if someone hits me, I'm going to want to hit them back. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...

Society has insinuated for SO long that women are the "weaker sex" and sometimes, we as women, fall in line with that ridiculous projection based on how it will benefit us. If someone walked up to us and said "you ain't sh*t because you're a woman", we'd be pissed to no end, ready to start a revolt about women's rights. However, it's okay to just let some dude pummel your face and it's okay to sit in the background in the silence and feel sorry for yourself? No ma'am. You can't preach strength one minute and the next be acting like a scary azz little lamb. FOH, for real!!!

PEOPLE need to stop putting so much energy into hating Chris and look at what can be done to prevent this from happening ACROSS THE BOARD. If the dude apologizes and says it isn't gonna happen again, STFU AND LET HIM MAKE GOOD ON HIS WORDS. If he can't manage to keep his hands to himself thereafter, THEN judge him as a person. Until then, stop acting like these celebrities don't breath oxygen, shat in a toilet, and have effed up relationships...just like you.

I'm going to find the article that stated Rihanna wasn't the only one with some facial wounding but I have a feeling that really won't matter to some people. In every drama filled celebrity situation someone has to be the antagonist...unfortunately Chris, it's ALWAYS gonna be you in this case. As far as I'm concerned, BOTH parties need anger management classes AND need to get their act together. Since he is so young, Chris can bounce back from this if people would treat him like the human he is and allow him to grow from his mistake. Rehabilitation for any crime that a person commits is usually where you can determine whether or not the person has learned from their mistakes and if they have the ability to turn around from their wayward course. Give him time to rehabilitate, sheesh!

I guess what everyone who STILL hates Chris has to ask themselves is, are you willing to let him live after this or do you have more buses you want to throw him under?

What In the Hell Is YOUR Damn Problem?

When Babybottoms dad and I first started being friends, I would sit in awe at some of the women who would be so enthralled with who they THOUGHT he was or who THEY thought he had the potential to become in THEIR life. We discussed his "conquests", past, present, and any future plotting he was up to. Our friendship was being built on mutual trust and something he'd rarely found in people...the ability to be completely honest and up front, regardless of how the person he was speaking to felt. I don't ask for much in friendship...just be fair to me, don't lie, and respect me. If you do all three of those things in ANY relationship, mutually, I PROMISE you, you'll end up with the best friend you could possibly have...not unless you're dealing with a person who prefers lies to the truth.

There were some things he's done in the past and was doing when I first met him that I could have EASILY judged him on but eff it, that's the life he wanted to lead. I made it clear that although I didn't condone his retard moments, as long as it wasn't directly affecting me, there was no need for me to get all up in arms about it. His life, his issues.

A year into our quickly budding friendship, we had our bump in the road. His selfishness inevitably ran over into our friendship; since it was affecting me, I had every right to speak up on it. The closeness we had formed wasn't one he wanted to let go of. I was ready to walk away and leave our friendship behind because there are just some things you don't do to someone you call your friend. Needless to say, getting past that and keeping our communication open has made our friendship and bond THAT much stronger.

Three years later, some people still don't understand that and it isn't up for discussion. We are friends because WE want to be...nothing more, nothing less. To date, he has not done anything else to jeopardize that between us. I look at him and I see a best friend for life. For those who might be acquainted with him on a surface level (which MANY people are), they judge him...and now since we're having a kid together, they judge me.

I don't really care about the judging part...it's the incorrect statements they spout to others that rubs me the wrong way.

Because some women's agendas for him were on some other planet, they have projected their typical foolishness they'd participate in onto me. Hearing things like:

"I guess she got what she wanted"

"You know she's only having that baby to keep you"

"Well, she won"

pisses me off to no end because ANYONE who REALLY knows me KNOWS, I AM NOT THAT KIND OF WOMAN.

I wasn't raised to behave foolishly like that and regardless of what other women conjure in their mind, I deal in REALITY. It's an insult to my upbringing to hear someone accuse me of this kind of thing. It infuriates me, knowing what I know about the trash of a woman who said these things.

I didn't win a damn thing having a baby out of wedlock and any woman who looks at relationships like that needs to have her head examined. Raising a child is not something you wake up and excel 100% at. I have 18 years set in stone that I am responsible for another human being other than myself, regardless of her fathers involvement...THIS BABY HAS BECOME MY SOLE PURPOSE FOR LIVING. Sure, her dad is still an important figure to me but next to me ensuring I do everything within my power to keep breathing, she is my next #1 priority....not him. Some women do convince themselves that giving birth to something they sired with someone else will manipulate a man into giving a damn about them, unfortunately, they are incorrect. The truth is Babybottoms dad gave a damn about me LONG before she was even in the "making".

Some women are truly pitiful and I wish nothing but sanity for them. To speak ill of me because what you thought you could have with my daughters father has become obvious that it will NEVER exist, is childish and proof that you have a lot of maturing as a woman AND a person to do. To think, this same woman writes notes on Facebook (and previously, blogs on MySpace) about "sistas coming together and not hating on each other". NEWSFLASH STUPID BIOTCH: you're being a hater.

I think my "therapy rant" has come to an end. Maybe this trollop will find AND RETAIN a man that can tolerate her controlling, nagging, psychotic mentality. Sure, you can doll up your physical to ensnare any man but if your mental is still the psycho biddy you were when you lived in Atlanta, you'll be alone all your life. To hate on someone else because what you wanted, you didn't get...is sad but typical of your pathetic life thus far. You live in New York, find something better to do with your time than coming to Atlanta and talking sh*t about a situation you are just jealous of. FYI, being jealous of my situation makes you look silly because even if you were on the other side of the fence, your grass would still be that dingy, dry ass, fucked up brown you have right now...because you aren't me and like Babybottoms dad told you, "you aren't built for the rain".

To get some green grass of your own, you don't have to be me...just work on your faulty azz personality. It's been 2 years, get over it, and live a life suitable for you. Trust me, you'll live...

Death By Mini Blinds

One of my friends emailed me a couple links enclosed in an email with the subject "Watch your little ones around mini blinds!!". In the body of the email she said:

"I'll warn you that the video is a little scary...Nothing tooo gruesome, just very eye-opening"

Now...before I give you my personal opinion on children and mini-blinds, here is the link to the video and my mother's response (who has 3 adult children and 1 grandchild who have NEVER strangled themselves with mini blinds):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1TOJvinCQA

"That is the most wasted stretch of footage I have ever seen. First of all, mini blinds are not toys for tots! Second of all, no one has to have them as window treatments. Last but not least, keep your stupid kids away from the blinds and shorten the pull strings if you're really concerned. This has nothing to do with the mini blind makers. People need to stop trying to make other people pay for their lack of supervision over their own children. Tots will be tots. They are busy as bees. Always moving around and getting into everything. That being the case, if you can't watch them lock them up. Play pens, leashes and depending on the age, swings tend to work. As I said before mini blinds are not the only solution for window treatments. Good old fashioned curtains have been around and still are. Besides children do not need to be near the window anyway. What if the critters break a window and it falls out? I guess then the makers of the windows will be sued... Parents need to own up to their lack of responsibility and remember that as my mother always said, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". In other words use precautions in all things, but especially with a small child."

Now...before my mother even replied to my email I sent her with the video and news story, I felt it was ridiculous myself. I know MANY parents who've ALWAYS had some form of blinds in their homes and NONE of their children have been strangled or died from the cords. Why? Here's a newsflash for parents who are SO CONCERNED about the welfare of their child:

THEY TIED THE CORD UP OUT OF REACH OF THE CHILD!

And for those meddlesome children who want to be all in the blinds like that cat above, parents of those children kept a closer eye on their kids. If the kid didn't want to stay away from the window, guess who was getting swatted on the butt?

Growing up, my parents had a ton of precautionary measures not just because there were children in the house but also because we grew up with a dog. If people can think far enough ahead to tie up the cord so their pet can't get a hold of it, don't you think, as a parent, you should think the same for your busybody children? I would think so. As my mother also stated, what is your kid doing near a window anyway? Some people might take that as a parent being far too paranoid but demanding a recall on mini blinds from these choice manufacturers isn't? I agree with my mother; this goes back to parents accepting responsibility for what goes on in their house with their child.

If you watched the video, you'll see that the mom was busy videotaping the baby and had no idea her dingbat son was in the living room strangling himself with the damn blind cord. Lady, you weren't watching ALL your children and one got into something that you could have prevented. Instead, she blames the manufacturer of the blinds.

The truth is, many parents let their children run amok in the house because home is safe...to them. Another newsflash:

THE HOUSE IS A SAFE HAVEN FOR YOU; NOT ALWAYS SO MUCH FOR A SMALL CHILD!

Things that we as adults don't consider to be a danger, well they are for small children. We know better than to eat Comet, drink bleach, and rub ammonia all over our skin. Does a baby know? Not so much. So you might need to lock up the cabinet with your cleansers in it. You know that pounding on a window isn't such a good idea but your toddler or even a child up to 5 sometimes just likes the noise it makes so it is never a good idea to leave your kid standing on the couch, pounding on any window. If they can stand up in their crib, hey, maybe it's time to move their crib away from the window. That would solve strangulation by cord AND the chance of them beating a window out. Stairs? Not a big deal to an adult who can walk up and down. A baby just learning to walk, even a kid 4 and under, maybe not such a good idea to leave them playing on the stairs when you're in the kitchen. If the child falls and breaks their neck, is it the carpet manufacturers fault? No, it's yours for not paying attention. Doors? They aren't exempt. If your child has managed to learn how to open all the doors in the house, you might need to install different handles or locks they can't undo. Nothing would be worse than little Johnny, who is 1-4, opening a door, walking out on the balcony and falling off to his death. Is it the door knob makers fault? Nope. If you're upstairs and the kids are downstairs with NO SUPERVISION, they are liable to get into anything.

Babybottoms is my first child but even when I watched my nephew, I made sure we were ALWAYS in the same room when he was little because 1) he was a mischievous boy and 2) kids get into anything they can get their hands on.

Point is, for all the parents who are leery of mini blinds, use damn curtains and please...stop blaming other people for the lack of attention you pay to your small children.

VIBE Magazine

I have a bone to pick with VIBE magazine...

Apparently, they are relaunching with a new editor, Jermaine Hall. After reading this article:

http://www.mediaite.com/online/interview-new-editor-of-vibe-points-the-way-forward/

I decided to mosey on over to VIBE's website to see if they had FINALLY posted information for ALL of it's subscribers. What did I find??? NOT A DAMN THING.

If you took out the time to read that article, you'll see he mentioned NOTHING in regards to subscribers and any money they've spent on subscriptions either. However, you will read that it is being turned into a "bimonthly [editorial] with a ramped up online presence". I don't like the sound of this at all, being as that I paid for a monthly editorial...for 2 years. Now...if they are going to give me the equivalent of that, no problem, but as I stated before, there is no information listed anywhere (that I saw) stating what the subscribers have to look forward to.

I PAID FOR 12 ISSUES A YEAR AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME I'M ONLY GETTING 6? ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME 2 EXTRA YEARS TO COMPENSATE FOR THE OTHER 6 I DON'T GET THROUGHOUT THE YEAR? HUH????

If you go on VIBE's website you'll see this header that says "VIBE UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT UPDATES COMING SOON" and when you click on it, it takes you to a press release that really tells subscribers nothing of notable mention.

I'm disappointed, to say the least, and I expect better updates than what's being given. I think I have a right to expect this considering I paid them what I owed. Now it's time they pay what they owe...either a full refund so I can spend my money on magazines more worthy of my reading time (i.e. Esquire, GQ, GIANT, etc.) OR an amicable explanation followed by a speedy solution.

Very Young Girls

I can remember when I was 14/15, there was this guy who would come to visit my neighbors across the street from where I lived. No lie, he looked like Deebo from Friday (if you've ever seen that movie, you know who he is; if not, see below). Same muscle mass and everything; I would just stare out the window, enthralled by this huge MAN.

Now, anyone who tells you that teenagers have no common sense or don't know right from wrong, well, that's SOME teenagers. After watching the harrowing documentary, Very Young Girls, it will become VERY clear to you that if you are young and missing certain elements in your life, what is so common to YOU is not common to EVERYONE else. Although I was young when I was captivated by the neighbors friend across the street, I knew there was something not quite right about a man 10 years older than me, being "interested" in me. He wasn't "interested" in me so that he could start pimping me but he did kiss me, which I knew was TOTALLY inappropriate. I also knew that because it didn't "feel" right, I wouldn't be participating in it again. I was about 15/16 when we kissed each other. Being young, you take a lot more risks than necessary and this was one of them for me. In the middle of my junior year in high school, I realized I had classes with his sister. It was this uncomfortable fact that led me to start brushing off the older man's advances. It didn't "feel" right before but it REALLY didn't "feel" right now. I saved myself, as well as this idiot, a lot of future trouble by choosing to walk away. A lot of young girls don't come to these conclusions in a timely manner though....

I used the main picture at the top because just as those young girls are being portrayed in an adult manner, there are men who prey specifically on young girls for the purpose of making them act in an adult manner...turning them out...yes, making them prostitutes. My situation was not 100% comparable to this but it was similar in that this man was older than me and attempting to tell me things that would keep me interested in him. There is NOTHING a 24-26 year old MAN should WANT from a 14-16 year old girl...NOTHING. I knew what a "normal" relationship for a teenager should be and this wasn't it. I was taught what should be age appropriate between the opposite sexes and this wasn't it. Unfortunately, not every young girl is given this knowledge.

While I watched Very Young Girls, I was filled with disgust at ANY man who sought out impressionable CHILDREN to influence into a life of drugs, sex, and basically slavery. The documentary initially started out with these 2 brothers attempting to tell their story about "pimping". They were both in their late 20's. Of course the authorities ended up catching them in the act of their sexual exploitation of children but what disturbed me EVEN MORE than their sordid acts on their fellow humans was OUR justice system that aint shit. These 2 clowns only got 10 years in a federal prison, even after it had been confirmed that they had destroyed 100's of young girls lives.

Some of these young girls were actually being held against their will. An example of such was a girl (I think she was 12) who was just walking home one day, approached by this van...that was the last day she saw any kind of freedom until she was about 15. She got arrested for prostitution. The defense attorney felt that since she broke the law, she should be placed in jail immediately. He didn't care that she was a minor and definitely didn't care that she was being FORCED to prostitute herself. Sure, it's easy to say she could have ran away to somewhere safe but these girls obviously don't have the strong mental thinking to devise a get away plan, especially when their lives are being threatened. Those who are there against their will are usually operating out of fear. Fortunately, the judge ruling over the case had compassion in her heart and allowed the girl to go back to her mother, under certain conditions, which were totally understandable.

Another mother had been looking for her daughter for 2 months. Someone called her with an anonymous tip as to where her daughter was AND told her other girls were being held there against their will as well. She had all the necessary information for the police to go and investigate. She went to the nearest precinct and alerted them as to what was going on because she wanted to get her daughter back. The police officers response?

"What do you want me to do about that? You want me to operate off an anonymous tip? I can't do anything for you" (not verbatim, but pretty much in a nutshell, that's what was said)

The mom becomes furious and starts buggin out in the precinct. She is told to calm down IMMEDIATELY...and they STILL did nothing for her.

I almost turned the documentary off at this point because our justice system infuriates me that much. I studied Criminal Justice, not an effort to evade any laws, but to learn EXACTLY how the law is supposed to treat people. Let me just tell you, if the government, whether it's on a state or federal level, stand to gain anything from your crime, they will find a loophole to either enforce a more severe punishment or just the opposite, to not enforce much of anything. Also, if the justice system stands to make ANY substantial amount of money off of your crime, you're INSTANTLY going down; if your crime is going to cause law enforcement more of a headache to process, it will more than likely be enforced with a nonchalant like approach.

Had the mother come in the precinct saying she had an anonymous tip on a drug cartel that would allow law enforcement to combat the "war on drugs", she would have been PERSONALLY escorted by that officer to the back to see what else she knew. He would have taken that tip VERY seriously...but a human life? That meant NOTHING to him and he proved that with his response to this mother's concern.

We see examples of this in the media too...I'm not saying that Michael Vick associating with people who maul animals is tolerable but the media and law enforcement do send out a certain message when they pretty much tell the masses that crimes against animals will be dealt with MORE severely than the assault that results in death or reckless actions that result in the death of a human being (reference Ray Lewis and Donte Stallworth). People can say what they want about the Michael Vick situation but the dogs were an OBVIOUS red herring used by the government; if ANYONE was closely paying attention, there were other things going on with those people who called themselves friends of Michael Vick that had to do with....drugs. THAT is what the government was after with that case; the dogs just caused the necessary diversion to get them the information they had been looking for.

Back to these young girls...I guarantee you if this child prostitution was in some way tied to major drug distribution, all of a sudden law enforcement would be concerned with the youth of America. Until that day comes, these very young girls are still in danger of being exploited until they are either in jail or wind up dead somewhere in an alley.

Last thing of notable mention is this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGL_p7BcJqk

It's about a 29 year old woman who has been in jail for 13 years for killing her pimp. He started pimping her when she was 13 years old and when she was 16 years old, she decided she couldn't take it anymore and killed him. Our punk ass justice system gave her a life sentence with no parole. I agree with her, as she will tell you in the video, yes, she deserves SOME kind of punishment for killing another human being but....LIFE IN PRISON WITH NO PAROLE??? AT 16 YEARS OLD??? Really? This is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous, considering ALL the circumstances AND that she was a "child" when she committed the crime. The justice system basically revoked her right to be rehabilitated; the message they sent by doing this to her is that if you commit a crime, we really don't give a shit about you getting another chance at life.

I studied Criminal Justice to find out how the law is supposed to operate...with the knowledge I was given, I feel like I have a responsibility to do something about things like this. Now that I will have a daughter of my own, I feel an even bigger responsibility to support anyone who gives a damn about situations like this. There isn't much I can do TODAY but trust me, as soon as I am able to grasp my opportunity, I will....

When You Say "I Do", What Do YOU Think That Means?

Maybe I'll come up with a title by the time I am finish writing this...

It's 4:45 in the morning and I should be taking advantage of the fact that Babybottoms is knocked out but I'm up and my eyelids don't feel like shutting. After reading the IM's I received while sleep, tweets from followers who seemed like they were in drunken relationship despair, and catching up on my blogs through my Reader, I felt compelled to write about relationships again.

As far as I can tell, from what I've been reading AND seeing, people get married thinking that the other person is supposed to change BECAUSE they are now married. It really doesn't help when I read blogs like The First 100 Days (his perspective) and The First 100 Days (her perspective)...by the way, those 2 blogs are HIGHLY entertaining and a VERY good read every day!

I'm not anti-marriage in the least bit; I'm all for 2 people loving each other enough to want to spend every day together in heavenly matrimony. I am realistic and know that every day is not going to be a walk in the park filled with bliss. But I'll tell you why I think some people jump into marriage without REALLY thinking about what they are getting themselves into.

Take for instance the guy who has NEVER been faithful to ANY of the people he's dated and uses the excuse that ever since that chick broke his heart, he doesn't feel obligated to "be" with one person in the aspect of boyfriend/girlfriend. That same logic carries over into being engaged; in his mind, he's STILL single until he says "I do", therefore, he is still "free" to do as he pleases, whenever he pleases. I have the same question every time I hear this sorry excuse to participate in foolishness...if you aren't willfully active at committing to one woman in the dating realm of things, what makes you think that because you get MARRIED, you'll willfully commit then? Being married doesn't AUTOMATICALLY strip you of ALL bad habits you've acquired while maturing as an adult. You are who you are whether you walk down the aisle today or tomorrow. This behavior simply boils down to: SELFISHNESS

So if you are dating someone that has a problem with fidelity NOW, I'm curious to know what makes some people think it will change because they stand before a pastor and group of people and say "I do".

It doesn't change because THEY haven't changed.

Which makes me feel and think some people get married simply to say, "I'z married nah!"

All jokes aside, being married requires a LOT from you as a person so once the wedding is over that you get to brag and boast to everyone about and play dress up for, all the work comes in. I think some people (read: MOSTLY women) get so enthralled with the glamour of a wedding that they put their personality and the man they are marryings personality on the back burner, thinking they'll cross that bridge when they come to it. THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU'LL EVER MAKE IN LIFE.

Getting married isn't the biggest mistake...marrying someone you know you HAVE unresolved issues with IS THE PROBLEM.

Some of the marriage problems I see people having aren't exclusive to "being married". These are problems ANY relationship can have if you marry someone you are REALLY not compatible with or never really tried to be. If she was selfish and bratty before you got married, that isn't going to change because you bought her a 5-carat engagement ring from Tiffany's. Sure, she might be blinded to EVERYTHING for a good 6 months after staring at that diamond but it doesn't change who SHE is or who YOU are. If he is a philandering moron whose first mind is to think of himself before you or anyone else, that doesn't change overnight either. SO...when you say "I do" and things like that have not been addressed to the point of correction, you are saying "I do take this person to be EXACTLY who they are today and tomorrow, should they show they ass on me, I accepted them for who they were so how can I REALLY get mad". Unfortunately, MOST people are not looking at it like that.

If I hear one more time, "I just figured that since he loved me enough to get married, he'd stop being a cheating azz", I'll slap the next heffa who says it. IF you were more into the wedding preparations than he was and FAR more excited, that was YOUR wedding not YALLS wedding. I don't think it ever crosses anyone's mind that sometimes guys are stupid enough to go through with the wedding to shut her up. It's the DUMBEST thing to do because you'll actually be respected more as a man for NOT making a life changing decision like this. If you really don't intend to love and cherish her as your wife, don't marry her and DEFINITELY don't waste all that money. Weddings and receptions can get expensive!

Men can also have the delusional thinking; "now that we're married, she won't be AS MUCH of a bitch; plus, look how pretty she is in her wedding dress; I'm sure she'll change for the better"...you're a fool too for trying to convince yourself of that. Sometimes women will get married because their "time is running out", all of their friends are "doing it", it just seems right to do, and/or there are children in the picture. So they'll marry this man but as soon as the sparkle of "I do" wears off they go into this mode of making his life miserable for marrying them, or so it seems.

I tie all of this back to people not ACCEPTING who they are marrying for who they REALLY are.

My parents (being the loving people they are to me) questioned whether or not me and Babybottoms father were going to get married. The honest to God truth is, we both love each other to DEATH and we have lived together with no problems (i.e. him washing dishes consistently is NOT a problem; him acting a donkey fool is...I don't have THOSE problems) so to the uninformed outsider looking in, we shouldn't have a problem getting married. Here is the MOST important truth of all when it comes to us getting married...who he is TODAY is NOT the man I would want to marry. Is there something "wrong" with him? Not really; I just know I EXPECT things to be a certain way should I ever get married and if he can't commit to those things, WE DON'T NEED TO BE MARRIED. They are not things that I've pulled out of my azz and I want him to sign in blood but anytime someone acts like the mere thought of marriage would be torture and that they'd POSSIBLY miss out on "something", YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY THAT PERSON. Sorry babe, that is you. Marriage terrifies me but if you want to see someone who is more scared than I, look at Babybottoms dad.

So when he hears of guys getting married and their wives becoming the bane of their existence he smiles because it supports his theory that marriage is the destroyer of ALL great relationships. I remind him that in reality, the relationship wasn't that great to begin with IF that happens. Some people ignore their warning signs and plunge head first into a commitment that isn't to be taken lightly. I'd like to think I'm smarter than that, which is why I'm not married now.

The institution of marriage was created so that people would grow closer together, not apart, but if you are oil and water, there is NOTHING marriage can do to fix that. The one thing I don't see much of with these problematic marriages is the willingness to compromise on both people's ends. Babybottoms dad and I get along to this day because we can compromise when necessary. I don't badger the f*ck outta him about who he is and he leaves me alone, as well. We have open lines of communication where we discuss ANY and EVERY THING, no matter how side-eyeish it might seem. He and I are really best friends and it does puzzle people that we don't just go jump the broom but it is VERY important to me that I do not have a phobia of getting married while walking down the aisle...and even more important that the man I love dearly, doesn't share that phobia.

So who knows, if both of us can move pass that, we might get married but to be honest, I don't think either of us even really want to. Apparently, that is the one thing we can't and won't compromise on so...we won't be getting married.

You Ain't Gots Tah Lie!!!

The world is chock full of liars...I tire of them but I guess I'll be hearing their random lies until I die. For some odd reason, people have ALWAYS felt the need to divulge information to me, whether it's the truth or some made up fantasy in their brain used to get attention or divert attention from someone else. Either way it goes, it's lame as hell and their lies ALWAYS end up coming out in some shape or fashion. I get the last laugh because now....not only do I get to laugh at how stupid you are, I'm going to share with other people the ridiculousness of your lying azz.

So who has lied and got busted out UNKNOWINGLY? Someone I used to work with...

The story is actually quite sad in itself but BECAUSE she lied, it QUICKLY became my humor for the day.

I used to work with this young lady who was a few years younger than me. Her first insecurity was apparent from the first month of my employment; she has a preteen and is still in her 20's. Doing the math, yes, she had her child when she was in high school. WHO THE HELL CARES? I surely don't. I have greater things to worry about than your out of wedlock child, oh I don't know, LIKE MY OWN OUT OF WEDLOCK CHILD! But whatever...over the course of her child's life, some women have made her feel like a "lesser" mom because she was a teenager when she had him. While I understand how that might make someone feel, you can't assume EVERYONE is looking down at you because you were a teenage mother.

Moving on to another insecurity I noticed...she has to be in a relationship to be happy. In the course of my 2 year employment with the company, she has been with 4 different men, 3 of which have "lived" with her....one of which she RECENTLY bought a house with (remember that tidbit of info). Even though she acts like she's dumb as rocks to me, at times, she has enough brain power to see that I've been "with" the same person since I started working with her. Once she inquired as to whether or not we lived together; at the time we did not so she smiled and says, "Well, me and (dude #4) are moving in together and he says he can see himself marrying me". Ok, good for you. Get out of my office with your trivial relationship shat please.

Moving on to another insecurity I noticed...Babybottoms dad has had 2 different Benz's and now has a Volvo. These 3 cars have been the topic of discussion amongst people who just REALLY need to mind their business and stop trying to figure out how he is able to drive around in a car they can't afford. No he isn't some big time (or small time for that matter) drug dealer...and he doesn't do anything else illegal to be in possession of these vehicles. She's asked several times what he does; I change the subject. It isn't anyone's business, period. Then I traded in my Honda for a Land Rover and all of a sudden she's trying to do the same BUT....keep her car and just flat out buy another vehicle. Long story short, she ends up with the EXACT same truck as me (just older) and pulls one of these moves: "WE bought our truck; so WE don't have a car note". Ok, again, good for you. Question...can you even drive your truck because last I heard FROM YOU, it didn't even have an engine? Beat it, loser. You're not one upping anyone...you just sound ridiculous.

So one day out the blue, she has to move IMMEDIATELY. The story she VOLUNTARILY feeds me is that the application on the house she wanted went through so they are moving into their new house they are buying together. Oh, ok, congrats for you (seriously, no sarcasm)! She calls me over to show me pictures and to boast on how much the house is (260,000), as well as, to tell me that their neighborhood is full of people with money. Ok...I REALLY don't give a shat about where you live. Personally, if I lived almost an hour outside of the city, I wouldn't be paying no 260k (in Georgia) for a house of that caliber. That's just me...I'd have gotten more bang for my buck IF I moved out that far but whatever. She wanted to rub in my face that HER AND HER BOYFRIEND had bought a house because she overheard me talking to one of my friends about me and Babybottoms dad looking at houses.

And here comes the funny...

Someone I guess she thought was her friend because she confided in them came and told me all her business yesterday. I didn't ask to know; I was minding my business and this is what I get told:

- her boyfriend broke up with her almost 2 weeks ago due to her clingy behavior

- they DID NOT buy that house; they are renting

I instantly laughed inside because I KNOW how much money she makes...she couldn't afford the $900/mth house she previously lived in and THEN moved into a house that costs $1300/mth...bad move. ESPECIALLY since the person she was depending on to pay MOST of that rent has now shot her the deuces. 

She posted pictures on Facebook of the house and people commented saying things like "Congrats on your new house!", "You're moving on up in the world!", etc...it feels good to have people pat you on the back but if you're "stunting", that makes you a clown. Apparently, I am not the only one she's told she owns that house. Renting is NOT a bad thing; it's okay if you can't afford, are not ready to buy, and/or don't even WANT that responsibility. There is no rule set in stone that says by a certain age you MUST be a homeowner or everyone is going to think your life has gone to shat. I guess she felt she had something to prove by lying about her house.

Same person running off at the mouth about this chick's business says "ummm, neither one of their credit is good enough to buy jack sh*t; that house has a rent to own option on it but they are not buying it". See why it doesn't pay to lie? Someone else has done you the favor of making you look stupid.

The informant went on to give me more information about her relationship that made me double over in laughter but the funniest thing was her lying about buying a house she is renting.

I am sure she'll realize that she doesn't own that house when she gets evicted. When you "own" a house (i.e. paying a mortgage), you might get foreclosed on but you sure as hell don't get evicted. Maybe then she'll understand that "rent to own" options are STILL renting, therefore, don't lie about what you're doing with your paycheck every month to impress other people. It only makes you look like the idiot in the long run...especially when you have to move out. 

Tiny & Toya

I need for people to know the difference between being raised in the hood (i.e. what MOST people read off as you being "ghetto") and acting like a damn fool.

I will admit that when I heard the show Tiny & Toya was coming out, I was one of the first people to give it the side eye because:

1 - it's on BET ( I ABHOR this damn television station because it's almost like it is trying it's hardest to live up to EVERY NEGATIVE stereotype about African American/Black people that was ever created; I have a problem supporting a station that is supposed to be for Black people but only targets f*cking idiots)

2 - every show that has been on BET has been an embarrassment to me as an educated Black person (this includes Keyshia Cole's show; granted she wasn't the one acting a plum idiot every episode but it showcased her crazy azz family and NOW...everyone and their momma think EVERYBODY Black and/or in Oakland and/or from Oakland acts like these coons...I was born/raised in Oakland. It rubs me the wrong way at times...)

Because of those 2 main factors, I steered clear of watching anything associated with the show. A few of my friends had status messages on Facebook about the show and I laughed or joked them about watching it BECAUSE it's BET...did I mention I HATE that station? But what could I REALLY say about the show? I had never seen it so my bias would be VERY apparent and one sided. So I just laughed about surface info I knew about Tiny & Toya...which really aint much, considering 5 million other people know the same thing I know about them...Tiny is T.I.'s girl and Toya is Lil Waynes ex-wife.

So...I watched the show this morning after perusing Smashedthehomie's blog.

I watched it and I will admit...I like these 2 chicks. Seriously, all BS aside....I have friends who have similar personalities to both of these women. They weren't acting belligerent, ignorant, and embarrassing the entire population of Black/African Americans that actually operate in life like they have some damn sense. Considering how Toya grew up and how young she was when she had Reginae and married Wayne, she could have been the stereotypical "ghetto" banshee that so many people allow to represent Black women as a whole. But she isn't....and she wasn't one time in the show. She wasn't loud and just....dumb as hell. She act like she has some sense...and I appreciate that more than words can express.

Tiny...parts of her life look TOTALLY unnecessary (all them kids and not married) but really, who am I to judge her? Whether you have 4 kids and not married or 1 and not married (read: me), we both in the same boat. So let's not focus on the obvious...but let's look at how she carries herself. Just because she talks "country" as hell that doesn't AUTOMATICALLY make her "ghetto". Her accent is a direct result of her geographic placement...not a signifying factor of her intelligence level. Never once do you catch her being a constant embarrassment to Black women either.

Now, I know this was just episode 1 I was watching but it made me reconsider whether or not I would watch anymore episodes. I think I will. I'm sure something might happen that causes them to show one of their many sides of being a woman but personally, I don't think it will be anything that you can directly connect to Black people just acting a fool on TV.

For anyone who hasn't watched the first episode and has refused to support BET, feel free to watch the video I attached below. It isn't a disappoint to the Black race and doesn't set us back a few hundred years. Watch and THEN form a better opinion... (the video has been removed from my blog because it automatically plays when someone goes directly to my entire blog; kind of irritating so run a search if you want to see it. I found it at Daily Motion. Adios!)

Relationship Blogs

Blogs that talk about different aspects of non-platonic relationships NEVER seem to get stale. Someone will ALWAYS comment and there will ALWAYS be someone around to vehemently disagree with your POV. That's fine...relationships aren't meant to be viewed ONE way because there are so many different people in the world who operate from different vantage points.

The thing that irritates me the most about relationship blogs though is NOT necessarily the material presented (well, sometimes, depending on who it is, I do want to tell them to go kill themselves...) but more so the pulpit, preachy type comments that come after the posting. Because we live in a world that has ALWAYS had a plethora of people who THINK different, there has always been a battle amongst people as to what the "perfect" relationship is. I'll be the first to admit that what works for me might not work for you. If you demand and want certain things from a significant other that just aren't that important to me, we are going to disagree on a few things here and there. The only rule in a relationship that should be applied across the board for everyone is...never be with someone who cannot respect you on the level you wish to be respected.

Make sure you define what you feel is disrespect though...because that can start an entirely different problem in itself.

But back to relationship blogs and the comments that are usually generated by them.

I'm not saying YOU (the reader) MUST do this but personally, I read the blog and my FIRST reply is ALWAYS to the person who wrote the blog. Unfortunately, you have people who read the blog, then the comments, and go on to reply to commenter's as if they wrote the entire blog with their 2 sentence comment. If you don't agree, fine, but stick to the topic of THE BLOG because when you go off on a tangent and it's in reference to a comment that wasn't even made to you, it becomes MORE than obvious, you're taking things personal. Unless the comment was directed AT YOU, what is the purpose of internalizing something someone said that doesn't even know you? There is no purpose.

The most recent relationship talk that has somewhat chaffed my skin are the people who are SO adamant about being married by a certain age and for all those people who are not, something is wrong with them and they need to adjust their priorities. Huh? Adjust them according to what? YOUR standards? Why is it SO hard to believe that EVERYONE doesn't WANT to be married??? For those who do, more power to you! I'm happy for you and I GENUINELY hope that you are getting married for the right reasons (i.e. the right reasons do not include so you can floss on all the batches who are still single; so you can wife up this dime piece so no one else can sow their oats in/on her). I'm not against the union of marriage because it SHOULD be a sacred and lovely one. I just KNOW that it isn't for me right now and I can't even begin to tell you when it will be. What I will tell you is...just because I'm a few sneezes from 30, that doesn't mean something is wrong with me because I don't want that out of life right now. And no, I'm NOT sitting at home sad over it either. I said I didn't want to be married; I NEVER said I have a problem dating or being with a man. Those things are not on my list of GOALS at the moment. No one should be made to feel like a lesser human being because that isn't what they want as they get older.

For all we know, they could be the people who get married at 40 and up, NEVER cheat on their mate, and stay married until death do them part....whereas, you "Mr./Ms. In A Hurry To Say Nuptials Because I'm A Certain Age Now" ends up divorced due to not being able to get along with the person YOU chose to marry. Which one is better off? I'd have to go with WAITING UNTIL YOU ARE READY TO BE WITH A PERSON UNTIL DEATH DO YOU PART, NOT IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES.

Point is, in relationships, ALWAYS do what's best for you. Don't read blogs, comments, advice columns, self-help books, listen to friends who will lead you down the road of despair cause that's where they are headed, etc. Before engaging in ANY relationship, know yourself well enough to decide what you want to tolerate; ONLY be with someone who can understand and be with you under those circumstances. While it might be true that opposites attract, if you are on two different pages of life, that attraction will be short lived and/or give you relationship hell so ALWAYS DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU!

FYI, there is talk that Steve Harvey's book is about to be turned into a movie...I can see all the women going to see this the same way they did "He's Just Not That Into You"...you cannot live your life based on the lives of others. When will people learn this?

The Anonymous Commenter

Yes this particular blog was prompted by the anonymous comment left on my last posting but these are musings that I've often ruminated on as I read other blogs and saw the random anonymous postings.

I have yet to see an anonymous comment that isn't rude, sarcastic, weird, random as hell, or seeking controversy. My question is...why are YOU hiding behind anonymity? Even if the poster of the blog didn't know you from a can of paint, why would YOU seek to detach yourself from your words to the point of becoming an irrelevant thought? Personally, that's how I view anonymous commenter's...your 2 cent matters even less than if your real name was posted.

If a name or hyperlink is attached, I view the commenter as a REAL person. I might very well know who you are, therefore my response to your comment will be catered specifically to who you are as a person. If you choose to be anonymous, your comment deserves to be interpreted however I see fit. If you're being rude, well, you just might get a rude response back...being random, I'll serve you alike...being weird, hell, I just might delete your comment altogether. What difference would it really make? You didn't want anyone to know it was you so your comment was pointless anyway, right? Right.

I just think that if you have something to say, say it and be clear it was YOU who said it. Anonymity is a cowardly, punk move when you just want some face time to be an azz really.

Someone once asked me why I didn't leave anonymous comments...I laughed to myself. Frankly, if I have something to say to ANYONE, I WANT you to know what I have to say. I don't grow balls of steel and throw on the Anonymous Hat. It's pointless and I might as well have kept my peanut gallery comments to myself if I was going to act scary.

Someone said that I would get a bunch of anonymous comments to this particular posting and I'm sure that would be the desperate act of an overly sarcastic person but that's what the deleting of comments is for. I'm easily entertained at times but stupidity, more often than not, has a limited window for entertainment, in my world.

So to all of you anonymous commenter's, stop it already or just put your name. If you didn't want to interact with the poster, it would serve you well not to leave a comment in the first place.

Enough With the "Good Hair" Already!!!!

So, Chris Rock has incited some fury in a few folks with his movie/"mockumentary" called Good Hair (I only call it a "mockumentary" because I'm sure the jokes are gonna fly the entire duration of the film, intentional or not, and some folks are going to be hotter than fish grease about it).

Several blogs have been generated that bring into question how Black someone is based on their hair, how parents deal with a child who has hair that doesn't resemble theirs, why reactions are different to certain hairstyles that Black women wear. For the most part, you can QUICKLY tell which people are sensitive to this issue. If you happen to have a differing opinion, you're quickly treated as though you aren't Black enough to speak on the subject because "you probably got that "good hair" yourself". I call bullshat on it all.

Some days I walk out the house having a GREAT hair day; other days, it aint so fabulous and don't get too close because you might not like what you see. I can live with this; I'm not perfect and neither are you so no harm, no foul.

Personally, I feel, if you are going to let someone make you feel inferior because of your hair texture, you have bigger problems with YOURSELF than anyone could EVER make you have. If you comb your hair and look presentable, what effing difference does it make if you have a tighter curl pattern than the person sitting next to you?

As a Black man, you should feel free to date who you please without being attacked by Black women about your preference in Black women you date. So what if your track record shows you date lighter skinned sisters than yourself who wear their hair straight? If he was dating a White woman, then some Black woman would have a problem with that. It's almost like there are a class of people sitting around waiting to have a problem with something everyone does. I just want to know...what in the f*ck is the REAL problem with YOU? Would the situation be any different if he chose to date a "sista" who had natural hair but ALWAYS wore a straight weave? Let's ask her WHY she isn't "comfortable" wearing her natural hair she PURPOSELY doesn't relax but opts to wear some hair that isn't even hers, relaxed. Is HE still the problem or should we divert our attention to her and MAKE her have a problem for wanting to wear a hairstyle contrary to what's growing out of her head? You see how silly this can get?

Yes, I do think there are better things to think about and draw attention to than the texture of someones hair...seriously, don't you too?

Hair is just like eye color, skin tone, and anything else you inherit from your family....it's determined by your parents collective gene pools. Therefore, you could be that ONE person in your immediate family that has the "kinky" hair or the "good hair"; you have kids one day and their hair texture is TOTALLY different than yours. Your kid has either dug in your gene pool or the other parents and pulled out a trait different than your own. Can we still sit up here and have the same dumb azz argument that you can't relate to your child because you have different textures of hair? It's seriously ridiculous. You work with what you have and if you don't know what to do with "kinky" or "good hair", as a parent, you learn. Also as a parent, you teach your child to not walk around like they are better than anyone BECAUSE of the texture of their hair. This lesson isn't JUST to be taught to children who have "good hair"; teach it to the children who have the "kinky" stuff too because there is a shatload of Black women walking around who THINK they are FAR more ethnic than their "sisters" because they wear their hair natural. Basically, you're an idiot if you measure your Blackness by the texture of your hair.

When someone who isn't Black looks at me or my mom, all they see are two Black women; they aren't sitting there analyzing why my hair is lighter and longer than hers. Although my mom is shades darker than me and let her tell it (she's old school), I have "good hair", she can out grow my hair ANY DAY but to the outsider looking in, how would you know that if you judge folks Blackness on their skin color and hair style? You'd have to make another silly assumption that in the end doesn't really make sense anyway. My hair can be just as difficult to manage as anyone elses; I simply know what to put in it so it doesn't look dry as the Sahara or doesn't roll up on the back of my neck and look like black rice.

Point is, get over the hair issue people and work on how you perceive yourself, as well as, your perception of other people who look different than you. If God wanted ALL Black people to look alike, he would have made us one color and with one texture of hair. Any other time you'd be offended if someone said "all Black people look alike" but in this case, it's almost like you aren't happy UNLESS we ALL look alike. Make up your minds people....

Worst Whooping of My Life

In my young mind, my dad invented this dark and cold street. As a child, I had dreams and aspirations of demolishing this horrible place so no other parents could take up residence here. Forgive my tunnel thinking on this issue because as life would have it, this street existed LONG before my conception was even acted upon. I was reminded of this dismal place after reading Remember the Toothpaste by Damon, the writer of This May Concern You.

He asked readers to state their worst beat-downs they received at the hands of their parental units/guardians and to state what we did to deserve it. My story was too long to leave in the comments section...so here it is in blog form.

When my mother decided to go back to work, me and my sister were left to look after my heathen brother. Many fights ensued the minute my mother backed out the driveway. Today was no different, except this "fight" was between me and my sister. She's never played fair...just not her thing and has always had a problem with keeping her hands to herself. She felt entitled to lay hands on me and my brother but if we even attempted to retaliate, it was going down. How dare we defend ourselves against her? Don't ask me where that one-sided thinking came from but today was not the day. After some time was spent trying to hit her back, I semi-gave up because I had to pee.

I guess she felt I was chasing her since I had to pass her to get to the bathroom so she takes off and locks herself in the one place I need to be...the bathroom.

I'm far too old to take this "L" in life and piss all in my pants so I start getting angry. As a child, I had the temper of Incredible Hulk...actually all 3 of us did. We get it honest; my parents tempers are nothing to joke around with. My mom is more that vengeful/vindictive type of angry person, plotting on yo life while you sleep...my dad is the "snapped" kind of angry; real calm and then out the blue, catting off like he's smoked crack all his life. My temper resembled my fathers, my sisters temper, more so my mothers.

So I'm calmly knocking..."I gotta pee! Let me in!". She's still concerned about me trying to hit her so she yells out, "No! Pee on yoself!" This interaction takes place so long, it feels like I'll never be able to have kids in life because my bladder was full and now my uterus was being used to hold the toxic filled urine. I'm almost to the point of tears and I yell again, while hitting the door, "I gotta pee! Let me in!" Her simpleton ass still worried about getting hit, doesn't budge.

Now, this door to the bathroom was made of REAL wood, not that ply wood crap they are filling everyone's homes with these days. There was also a crushed glass like window at the top; you know the glass that you can't see through because it's smooth on one side and prickly on the other. Pretty much indestructible...remember those three words.

I think I felt a warm trickle start to hit my pants leg and this might have been what set off my rage...it was that or her opening the door a crack to laugh at me like my exploding bladder was a joke. I ran up to the door and did a Hulk Smash on it and as I looked up, I instantly became the sniveling, puny human Bruce Banner. This glass had taken many slams and NEVER broke but my fury caused it to spider crack...alll over. I guess my sister, seeing the severity of the situation, opened the door slowly, and she too had the face of fear. We were supposed to be staying out of trouble, watching the Heathen from Hell, and not killing each other but instead, had managed to destroy some shit we KNEW we was about to get the ass whooping of all time from.

I no longer had to pee...all I could do was cry.

That day, my dad seemed to come home even earlier than usual. Me and my sister looked so worried that he immediately knew we did something out of line. He took one look at the glass, asked who did it, then was off to get an estimate. That window pane was going to cost him $300 to replace. He sat us both down and talked about the importance of treating other people's stuff with respect. The conversation then focused on me and my temper. I was told that since I didn't know how to control it, he was going to help me out a little because what if that had been my sisters face or body I hit. I won't tell a lie, at that point, I was wishing it was but I quickly understood that my temper was to be locked away and never unleashed again. The fruitages of the holy spirit (mainly being slow to anger and self-control) were beat into me that evening.

$300 is my car note today and personally, I feel, a good chunk of change...20 years ago, it caused me to get the ass whooping of a lifetime. To this day, I ALWAYS think about not being able to sit on my ass for 2 weeks before I go cattywhompiss on anyone...

Shamelessly Plugging My Retard Life

Yes, this is going to be a "woe is me" blog so if you aren't in the mood to read, move on to something else. However, I will be supplying laughs in lieu of cries so feel free to stick around and have a laugh...on me.

2009 will ALWAYS be the MOST memorable year of my LIFE. The first half of the year, I was adjusting to finding out I was pregnant at a MOST inconvenient time, watching my paycheck get sliced and diced so that other employees could keep their jobs, and moving way too many times than should be allowed.

Just when I thought I could breathe again, here comes Karma to kick my azz over something I'm sure I did but does "she" ever tell you WHAT you are being made to pay for? No. The seeds you sowed are now being reaped and your only job is to shut the hell up and roll with the punches. Although I called this a "woe is me" blog, please sincerely know, I am not in a corner feeling sorry for myself. I had my 5 REAL minutes of "why me" and got over it but it was tough.

It's tough to deal with this while being 30+ weeks pregnant (I made 32 weeks on Sunday; 8 more to go):

*the shower I DIDN'T want but was semi-coerced into having, yeah, some of the folks who "offered" to help out, didn't pull through so I had to cover the costs of things they volunteered to be responsible for...which is fine IF I had planned for that AND if the following didn't happen....

*almost EVERYONE RSVP'd...then the week of, MYSTERIOUSLY, they had other things come up

I understand that life happens and I am not saying anyone's life had to halt because my baby shower was this past weekend. What I am saying is please don't feed me lame excuses like because I'm pregnant I became retarded. If you've been everywhere in the world South of France (for the last year) up until the weekend of my baby shower, you're supposed to be "family", and then all of a sudden you can't make it to my shower due to transportation "issues", sorry, I just find that hard to believe. Especially when you decide to tell me the day before the shower. You hadn't planned on coming before the day you chose to send me a text message (for real? you can't even call me?); that's fine.

Another thing, I understand people have to make a living...if your job calls you in to work on the same day of something you RSVP'd to, hey, go get your money. But there is a reason you RSVP, especially when FOOD is involved. Head counts are instrumental, ESPECIALLY when you are pinching your pennies. So if 40 people RSVP and I go buy food for 40 people, I expect 40 people to be eating this food. If 20 or even 30 people only show, yes, I have a right to be upset. You've wasted my money simply because of your failure to communicate. You knew you had to work the minute they put you on the schedule so sending me a text telling me you remember my shower is today but what time is it cause you get off at 8 pm? Ummm, who EVER has a baby shower at 8? Go back to work and stop sending me asinine text messages please, thank you.

Those are just 2 examples...I've got more TRUST me LOL

*in the midst of trying to keep my head firmly screwed on, I got laid off 2 days before the baby shower

Yes, it is utterly pitiful for someone 8 months pregnant to be without a job. It isn't like I can get on my grind and go waitress. Right...and give birth in the middle of a food run as my ankles swell up to the size of elephant buttocks. Although it's discrimination, because I can't prove it, no one is going to hire me in this condition. I'm more or less ass out until November, when my womb has fully healed and my child is old enough to attend daycare. Who made up that 6 week rule? Damn doctors (that was sarcasm; I don't need any medical explanations as to why the baby needs to stay home for 6 weeks; I lost my job, not my mind...yet).

Are they discriminating against me? My "job"? Nope, please trust and BELIEVE if that was the kind of situation going on, me and Babybottoms would LEGALLY wipe their entire bank account clean for laying me off while pregnant. That just isn't the case. This isn't a personal vendetta against me so it's easier to laugh and joke about it than sit in the middle of the parking lot and pray for vengeance to be exacted on them.

Let's just say, I'm not the only one getting laid off and we'll leave it at that for now since I do have a "public" blog.

*my mom almost didn't make it

Due to Airtran being the idiotic mothersonsofbiotches that they are, they screwed up her flight arrangements and then tried to get in her pockets $1200 deep to fix it. Ain't no regular working class citizen got money like that, recession or not. Anywhom, my mom thinks she's Wonder Woman sometimes (like most "go hard" mommy's do) so she decides to drive from Texas to Georgia. Pandemonium and chaos ensues on this road trip and what should have been no more than a 14 hr ride (that's time included to get lost) turned into her on the road with my 12 yr old nephew for...20 hrs. She still didn't make it to my house until 1:35 pm on Saturday after leaving Texas on Friday at 8 am. My shower started at 2 pm....so yes, I was late to my own shower. By 15 minutes or so...

*haven't really slept since Wednesday of last week

and I probably won't until Sunday....when everyone (my family) will be back in their respective homes

There is however silver linings in these clouds of despair....

*Babybottoms got some WONDERFUL gifts from my family and the AWESOME friends who did follow through on their offerings

*My mom is still my mom, despite her tomfoolery on the road and has kept me from breaking down and crying a couple times since she's been here

*The baby shower turned out to be a lot better than what it was looking like and EVERYONE had a good time

*I still have no supplemental income but a few friends have been instrumental in coming up with good ideas of things to do from home so I don't have to unleash Babybottoms on the world right away

AND

*Babybottoms dad is still probably one of the MOST supportive men I've ever met in my life. I think he's more so trying to make sure I don't go jump off a bridge somewhere but he's sacrificed comfy sleep more than a few times to make sure I was okay since all of this happened.

Despite the tragedy that is my life at the moment, I am happy I do have the simple moments of happiness I am getting here and there. So...with all that being said (here comes the shameless self plug), if you have any shreds of decency in your heart, you'll point me in the direction of money should you see some and/or a job fitting for someone in my condition.

Thank you.

(I had to laugh at that myself LOL)

Living Vicariously Through The Past

What I decide to share in blogs/online is nothing in comparison with all of the antics and foolishness I have been privy to since I was a child. Some things I will take to the grave because it involves others close to me that wouldn't appreciate all the dirty laundry being aired, other things, well, as my dear friend Tamara says, "you gotta have something to tell Jesus". The most active time period of my life was between 16 years old and 25 years old. I had an almost 10 year stretch of doing pretty much whatever I wanted to, whenever. No holds barred.

I was reminded of this time period yesterday with the trending topic, #inhighschool. For anyone who is not familiar with "trending topics", it is something on Twitter that encourages people to continue interacting throughout the day with each other by stating something relevant to the topic. For instance, a couple of my posts read:

#inhighschool I had 3 best friends and I thought we would all live happily ever after; then life happened

#inhighschool you tolerate a lot more BS than you do as an adult

#inhighschool I used to steal my mom's wine in the box and put it in water bottles to sip on between classes; trife life LOL

I'm sure you get the point; just another way to share a bunch of useless knowledge with strangers that you normally wouldn't speak to otherwise.

Anyway, a few people shared some #inhighschool items from others in their timeline with me and I had to laugh when I realized some grown folks REALLY must miss their high school times...when they were at their best. If you haven't done anything significantly different since high school or you were actually more interesting in high school than today as an adult....you're failing at life.

Sorry, but you are.

Something should be different...and what I mean about different is, in a good way. You shouldn't have fallen off the map of Good Things in Life so hard that people laugh at the fact that you ain't shit without high school. I don't think many people were realizing that as they wrote about how popular they were in high school only for many to guffaw at it like "but no one gives two shats about yah now, huh?"

I saw a homeless man the other day and I wondered what he was like in high school. Was he the "ladies man"? school jock? Beneath the grit and grime that appeared to just start settling on his skin, I could see he was an attractive man. What went so wrong in his life that he was standing outside of a liquor store asking me for money? I thought about the trending topic...well, he probably didn't have a care in the world in high school, thought this one day at a time thing was gonna segue into adult life and he was gonna be just fine.

Adults, we can't ride the coattails of our high school life (if it was a good one). If you were "the shit" in high school, what are you doing as an adult to STAY "the shit"? If I see all your trending topics talking about your successful high school life, shouldn't you have had a successful life thereafter? Does the recipe for "success" change because we get older? In high school, you OBVIOUSLY wanted to be the center of attention and well known but you're a lame as an adult? Something doesn't fit into that picture well. If you strived to be the best...even if YOU thought you were "the best" in high school, don't stop thinking that or else you will become exactly what you are today...a loser living vicariously through your own tweets.

Happy Friday!!!!

Sometimes I Cringe That I Am A Woman...

There are times when I am OVERJOYED to be the GREAT woman I am...and there are times that I want to round up ALL the women who are dead set on making women look like idiots and burn them all to the ground.

Because the news is bias as hell these days and can't really be trusted to present everything before they start alerting the public, I will say my opinion on the Ben Roethlisberger situation is based strictly off my disdain for women who do stupid shat. So according to the news, some woman comes forward to sue Ben for raping her...a year ago. Before anyone says anything...I am fully aware that there are some situations where people go for YEARS without saying something about their attacker due to fear. I'm aware of that. But how many times do people go for an extended amount of time AND THEN seeks punitive damages of almost HALF A MILLION DOLLARS?

Most females who are raped, are trying to deal with the emotional stress of being violated and having no control over a situation they never imagined would happen in their lifetime; money is the farthest thing from their train of thought. I have friends who were raped as children and as adults...none of them are talking about "where them dollars at" and ALL of them have spoken up TO SOMEONE about their unfortunate situations. It doesn't matter if they confided in friends, the authorities, family, or a therapist...I just don't know too many females who go it alone with that kind of trauma/tragedy.

What was reported sounds sketchy to me...

I want women to be smarter these days...I really do. It irritates me how some women will complain about the light they are portrayed in but when you look at what they are willing to participate in, OF THEIR CHOICE, it makes you wonder where they get the right to be upset about being looked at negatively. I don't know anything about this 31 year old woman who says Ben raped her but deciding to take legal action against "one of the biggest names in sports" a year after the fact isn't a smart move. Half a million dollars to this man doesn't do anything but hurt his ego (if he even cares that much), if he should have to give it to someone. IF he really did rape her, she should be more concerned about his azz doing jail time so that it doesn't happen to another woman. Her concern shouldn't be focused on how much money she can bleed out of him.

Women who do this are no different to me than women who do things to be viewed as nothing more than sexual objects but want to roar "THERE IS MORE TO ME THAN JUST THESE PICTURES WITH MY PANTIES ON". You aren't portraying yourself in the most positive of lights so why do think and expect anyone to care about anything other than you in your panties? Shut up and go sit down. If you wanted someone to assume you have a head on your shoulders filled with anything more than smut, you'd be in a corner somewhere being a tad more ladylike, a lot less vixen. Same goes for this woman...if she wanted people to believe her, the focus should be on Ben being incarcerated for his crime, NOT how much money she can get out of his super plush bank account.

Someone needs to hold classes on how to be smart in your endeavors to get over on others because a LOT of women are getting big fat "F"'s in life lately....

Living Single

I have never read that book but the title of it, as well as, the byline serves my blogs purpose well. If anyone has read it, feel free to let me know.

Anyway, Twitter prompts a lot of things to go through my head on a daily basis. The most current running thought is "are people REALLY this stupid or is this part of their online persona". In the middle of me thinking more than half the people twittering something are dumb as rocks (simply to entertain others), I started seeing random tweets here and there about being single, why people are single, and other people lamenting to others about how at a certain age you SHOULDN'T be single. If I wasn't limited to 140 characters (thank God we are though) I would just randomly tweet:

"being single is not a disease; if you think it is, you obviously need to find something better to do with yourself than live vicariously through the ass of a relationship" (hey! maybe that can fit on a tweet!)

Relationships are for people who want to be in them. Period. There is no psychological discussion to be had about those who CHOOSE to be single and those who CHOOSE to be in a relationship. I know plenty of people who REFUSE to be alone so they'll date the scum of the earth JUST to be in a relationship. It's what they like; being with someone. Me personally, my breath of life is not contingent on someone calling me their boo. It never has been and it never will be. My attitude towards relationships is one of nonchalantness, generally speaking. I've never been pressed. I know when I wouldn't mind being in one but it's generally because of the way THAT person makes me feel...not because I think the idea of being an "us" is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

But then again, I wasn't that little girl sitting in her room daydreaming about her wedding, husband, kids, house, and animals. I was more content reading a book, playing with action figures, and trying to figure out how to melt plastic without my mother smelling it. Hell, I didn't really start WANTING kids until after I turned 25. I felt a little awkward that me wanting kids came before actually WANTING to be married...probably why I'm pregnant now, LOL. But I digress...I have never really put much effort into relationships. I've always just liked to let them "happen". I will be honest and say, the relationship I have with Babybottoms dad is the MOST I've EVER done as far as maintaining a relationship. Again...probably why I'm pregnant now.

Have I had boyfriends? Sure. I just always felt myself getting a wee bit bored because...well...what's next? After you've dated someone for eons, shouldn't you have formed some kind of attachment that MAKES you want to marry them? If not, aren't you both essentially wasting time? Because I've thought like this for so long, I'm kind of scared as to where me and Babybottoms dad will end up. It's almost like, if I get bored after a while, who is to say he isn't getting bored also? So far, me and Babybottoms dad have yet to get bored with each other. Probably because we don't smother each other to death and for some odd reason, things just don't get "old" between us.

But I'm getting off the subject here...the subject matter being people acting like you have the plague because you're single. I'm 29; I'll be 30 in a few months and I look at people in my peer group and I see a LOT of people who are PRESSED to have a significant other. They haven't done any deep soul searching to better themselves but want to get married or be in a relationship. My question to them is...who do you REALLY think wants to marry your unstable ass? If you haven't taken out the necessary time to make your undesirable qualities a little less undesirable WHO do you think, in their right mind, is going to "wife/hubby" you up? 9 times out of 10, THAT'S why your unhappy ass stays in and out of the single life.

These kinds of people are FAMOUS for lamenting about the opposite sex and what they ALWAYS do. No, that's what ALWAYS happens to you because YOU date/attract/choose the same type of person OVER and OVER. Why do people act like it's so hard to understand? There is nothing more irritating than people who OBVIOUSLY can't take being single projecting onto others that they shouldn't be single either. You just want company at your sad little pity party. Those of you who WANT to be in relationships, leave single people alone who WANT to be single. While there is obviously something wrong with your "determined to fail in relationships" ass, there is nothing wrong with someone KNOWING they don't want or need to be with anyone right now. Needy, clingy relationship types might find that weird but guess what...NEWSFLASH: Everyone isn't you.

If you REALLY are CHOOSING to be single, fine and don't let ANYONE preach to you about how you should want to be in a relationship. You should want to do what you want to do and they should mind their damn business and figure out why their relationship life has been an ultimate FAIL, for the most part. If you are single because you REFUSE to do anything for anyone to tolerate your insufferable ass then fix that too; you'll get someone because there really is someone for everyone out there.

Again, this isn't anything that's so hard to figure out that you lose sleep at night. Point is, no matter how old you get, it is not a disease to be single. If you feel so "afflicted" by it, try doing something other than what you been doing and you'll get different results...more than likely the ones you are looking for.

Is It So Hard To Watch Your Mouth?

I don't think some people understand that you don't have to be racist to do or say racist things. I'm not as quick as some to call someone a racist because I understand the difference between someone just talking too much and an individual who genuinely has hate in their heart for someone of another ethnic background.

A prime example of this is my boss; sometimes he says things that would cause ANYONE to second guess whether he remembers we live in 2009 or not. I don't think that he is a blatant racist but I do think that because he is so comfortable, he does not see the need to filter his personal proclamations to others. Which brings to mind the phrase, "White is right". While the phrase is more sarcasm than anything else, I do believe some people feel that way with what they have to say. There have been several times that I've said to my boss that he has to watch what he says because while I personally do not believe him to be a racist, some of the things he says are out of line. His favorite line is to say "well, no one is wrong here". Correction, someone is wrong here and it's you.

There is nothing okay with talking to a Black person and telling them that they should not be offended when the subject matter is in regards to race and automatically affects them differently than the person who is talking. If you have not walked a mile in my shoes or any shoes similar, don't tell me how to feel about something that is race related. It's rude and does come off as you knowing better about a situation you know nothing about.

So when I saw the video about the minority children who weren't allowed to swim with the "other" kids at the pool, I thought about people who say things that can be viewed as racist. I want to ask the people who said that they didn't want the minority children there because they were afraid they would steal...I want to ask them how they'd feel if someone treated them like that because of their skin color. In their mind, that would never happen because apparently, from the comment that was made, a White person would NEVER steal from them....why? Because you are White?

Criminals, thieves, murderers, etc come from all different ethnic backgrounds so THAT particular comment is EXTREMELY hard to get around as not being racist. I bet if you asked them if they thought they were racist, they would vehemently say no and be appalled that you would think that of them. Well look at what you are letting come out of your mouth.

This is what I want people to understand...you are viewed how you behave. If you don't want people to think the word "racist" when they think of you, watch your mouth. While everyone is entitled to their own set of beliefs and what not, the world we currently live in will never change if this doesn't get through people's thick skulls. Granted, some people were perfectly fine with minorities not being equal to Whites but the fact is, in this day and age, continuing to think that way makes you have dinosaur thinking. We all know what happened to the dinosaurs...

Not everyone is up for "evolving" but what they have to face now are all the people who are willing to move to the next level of co-existing peacefully. So in an effort to all get along, folks, ALL OF YOU, just watch your mouths please.

Thank you.

Let's Be Honest

Cheating is cheating...whether you are the one who initiated the "cheating" or not. Frankly, it doesn't matter if the person is married or just in a relationship with someone else...it's still cheating and if you are a participant and KNOW they have a significant other, you can't cast blame on the person you are cheating with. If they are so stupid and need to go sit in a corner, well then you're equally as buffoonish and need to park it in the corner too. Whether you are 16, 26, 36, or 46, you KNOW what you're doing and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want someone sneaking around on you.

I've read my fair share of Air McNair blogs that centered around cheating but it wasn't until I read this blog that I felt compelled to share my trifling story with the public. It's a real quick "story"; nothing drawn out or elaborate because there is nothing to glorify in what I participated in. When I was 21, I got involved with a 31 year old. For 6 months, things were good so I finally decided to go ahead and share my goodies with him. After getting my freak on, I started hearing little things from other people that he was married. When I confronted him, he of course lied about it. It wasn't until I actually met his wife that I KNEW he was married. At that point, it was MY RESPONSIBILITY to separate myself from him and his foolishness but I didn't so...that made me just as much a fool AND as responsible as him. I continued to be involved with him for 3, almost 4 years. ALL MY CHOICE. He wasn't forcing me but I did have incentives to stay acting a fool with him. I was young and ONLY thinking about myself so I continued to carry on in a cheating azz relationship.

I will NEVER blame him 100% for what happened because he could easily walk away from me and go find another retard to sleep with, KNOWING he IS in a relationship. I blame myself and only myself from the point I had confirmation he was married. I chose not to cut him off and for that I am sure karma found a way to repay me or it will. I accept responsibility for any foolishness I partake in whether it was when I was younger or now.

Would I ever "cheat" with a married man again? Nope. I'm just not that person anymore and I actually care. I haven't done it since. Although, I have been in a situation where I was involved with someone and they decided to get a girlfriend WHILE we were "involved" and I didn't walk away immediately. It took me 2.5 months to process how to fully separate from him, we had our talk, and he chose to separate from her. He had the free will to stay with her but I wasn't going to be with him while he was with her. That is a road that usually ends with someones feelings being hurt and I would rather it not be mine.

I think the issue with women who want to ALWAYS place the blame on the man they are "cheating" with is that they feel somewhat duped and in an effort to feel better about themselves, they look for someone to blame. He isn't making you do anything with or for him so how is it his fault? Blame yourself and get over it. If you are gonna be a woman who has no respect for other people's relationships, own up to that. You're an adult and only God can judge you  so it shouldn't matter how anyone else feels about your contribution to trifling behavior anyway, right?

Point is, we know what we are doing when we engage in these kinds of things so the blame of other people involved has to stop. The young lady who willingly accepted gifts and peen from McNair didn't want to believe that she just wasn't as important to him as his peen initially made her feel. She got upset and took matters into her own hands. The fact that she murdered someone she was cheating with because she couldn't have her way is a drastic result of people (Steve included) being selfish. Sometimes we place ourselves in compromising situations that have all the potential in the world to turn out horrible and we KNOW it while we're doing it. We can't rightfully blame anyone but ourselves because we all have free will to do what we want. Murder AND adultery are wrong. It doesn't change simply because you choose to place yourself in the shoes of a cheater.

Bottom line...if you are cheating with someone, this does not mean he/she likes you more than their significant other. All it means is that they like to dip their stick or rest their loins on other people other than who they are with. Sometimes it turns out in favor of the person they are cheating with and sometimes, well, you are shown that you aren't as important as you thought you were. Tough titty...don't be a cheater and you won't have anything to complain about.