Shaking My Head At The U.S. Justice System

Something happens everyday that convinces me that our justice system is full of every type of shat imaginable. Today...I got reassurance while reading The Rolling Stones article on Dwayne "Lil Wayne" Carter.

These celebrities walk around like The Untouchables because the United States of America's justice system is a HUGE joke. It is almost as if they are dying to incarcerate any rapper who so much as jaywalks but then when they have them in their clutches, they all appear to get these smacks on the hand for sentences. It has been made VERY clear that if you have money, you can negotiate the terms and agreement to ANYTHING. 

How is Mr. Carter's future jail stay different then most individuals?

I'll use my brother's situation as an example. Right now, he is incarcerated in Texas. When he was apprehended, he was told that it would take 1-3 years before his case could go to trial because that was how short staffed and behind they were. So, regardless of whether he committed the crime for which he is being imprisoned he STILL has to sit there until they can get to him. His meals mainly consist of 2 thin slices of bologna, a roll of bread that is harder than concrete, and about 3 carrots. Some days, that covers 2 meals for the day. He told me that the inmates can tell when the FEDS are on the premises because then AND ONLY THEN, do they get "good food" and normal rations.

If I write him, they open his mail before it gets to him. That's fine and understandable, however, I can only send up to 6 pictures, per letter. I cannot send ANY magazines or books. The publisher of any reading material I want to give him, must send them. Care packages must be purchased through the prison and they aren't "affordable" in the least bit. A pack of ramen costs 69cents...even though it's only like 12-14cents in the grocery store. A small jar of peanut butter is over $5. Everything is grossly marked up. He can only have 2 visits a week for 20 minutes each; if someone out of town comes to visit, they get an extra 10 minutes. The phones are FILLED with static so you can barely hear what each other are saying.

I'm not saying feel sorry for my brother or that I need to go cry a river and jump in it because "woe is me". What I am saying is this...

For Mr. Carter's manager to be figuring out a way for him to have a Twitter account while in jail, sending him music so he can continue his craft, and find other ways for him to stay connected to the public, THAT is some bullshat. He plead guilty to possession of a weapon he knew he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near. It doesn't matter if it wasn't his or it was. If he is to be in prison, he should get the same treatment everyone else does. No random normie is allowed any type of extra communication other then hand written letters and short visits so the same rules should apply to him. Life stops when you enter prison for a reason. 

Imagine my surprise when I found out that he wasn't even imprisoned today! According to the media, his  date to enter "the system" has been pushed up to March 2nd because he has some dental work he needs to finish getting done. He couldn't get it done sooner because his dentist was out of the country. I literally laughed out loud at our justice system as I read that. Lil Wayne gets to change his date to be incarcerated because he needs his teeth fixed? Please...anyone...tell me this is a joke.

I was pregnant when my brother was taken to jail. It sure would have been nice if he could have postponed his "jail date" until after I had Babybottoms. The reality of a normal man living in an urban area is exactly what happened to my brother. He comes outside with his hands up asking what the problem is, gets hogtied, and then repeatedly kicked in his head, chest, and legs. He also got stomped on. Excessive police brutality, so much so that another officer had to take him to the hospital before locking him up because the entire left side of his head had swoll up. I saw a picture of his face after the "cop beatdown"...if I didn't know my brother, I wouldn't have recognized him. His face looked like a mixture of Quasimodo and Sloth.

I'm not hating on Wayne; not in the least bit. I'm a fan of his music and all that good stuff. It just upsets me that our judicial system is so OBVIOUSLY bias. I understand that rappers aren't the only ones who get "special treatment". There are some artists who get made examples of (see: Chris Brown) on the other end of the spectrum. While some women feel his sentence wasn't fair, it was a first time offense. The level of violence that was exuded in that situation usually gets community service and/or anger management classes. He got far more than that. Our judicial system is either very lenient or over the top strict with their celebrity verdicts. You'll never hear me say R. Kelly has horrible music but you know, as well as I do that he should be serving some kind of time, probation, SOMETHING, for being sexually involved with minors. However, our justice system deemed him a man fit for freedom. 

I know we can blame it on the jury but before it's all said and done, the judge is the one with the power.

If it wasn't obvious that money runs everything, it is now...

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Thank You?

This job hunting feels pointless most days but I'm still at it because EVENTUALLY...it will pay off. However, I get a tad irritated by some of the suggestions for jobs people have passed on my way. The whole point of getting off of unemployment is to be in a better financial position, NOT to go from one bad situation to another. Lateral moves ARE NOT progression. I've NEVER believed in trading in one set of problems for a new set. Therefore, when I look for jobs, I look for something that I am qualified to do, pays decent for the position listed, health benefits (because I have a kid now and her health is VERY important to me), and some flexibility.

I've had several of my friends and family tell me that beggars can't be choosy. Yeah, ok, so I'm supposed to be gung ho when you call or email me a job that pays $10/hr, is part time, and is 45 minutes from my house? My truck laughed at that job suggestion before I did. It takes a good $62-65 to fill up my tank; you can see where this is going, right? If I was desperate to get off of unemployment and not thinking straight, I would have set myself up for MORE disaster by taking a job like this than staying on until I was offered a job that covered more of my expenses then just gas. If you do the math on unemployment  income, taking a job that makes $10/hr is the same as me staying on unemployment. Again...I don't do lateral moves ESPECIALLY if they will quickly turn into MORE hardship.

So the first thing I think about when my family/friends make these suggestions is "Why are you conveniently forgetting how much money I made before I was laid off?" Take a second to remember please, THEN...suggests job. 

Again, things would be TOTALLY different if I were without Babybottoms. I could take on 2-3 jobs to make sure everything was back to normal. I can't do that with a newborn. I could go back to waitressing or start bartending. I could probably do this, however, I would need a babysitter for daytime and nighttime. So a LARGE portion of ANYTHING I made would go to babysitters and then I wouldn't see my daughter all that much. I'd be STRICTLY working to pay bills. While some people might live like that, that is no life for me. I know my limits and that is one of them. I have to make sure that my mental, physical, and emotional health are up to par when dealing with Babybottoms. She is a handful without me working. I am sometimes afraid to imagine how things would be if all I did was work and sleep, spending very little time with her w/one of those schedules. Also, waitressing/bartending wouldn't make me what I was making when I got laid off so I'd still be in a bad situation.

It has been difficult for me to find a "good" job and the same goes for Babybottoms father. Since we have time, we've been cultivating our business. Things are moving along better than ever so I am grateful for that. We were able to get a lot of things accomplished that having a 9/5 would have slowed down. So there is a silver lining in my cloud...

However, I would greatly appreciate it if my friends and family would stop suggesting crap azz jobs they KNOW are not good looks for my current situation.

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Ramblings About My Father...

I knew two things would be asked by my dad before I left visiting them in Texas. They were probably going to be, verbatim:

"So, you and [Babybottoms Dad] thinking about getting married? You even talk about it again after the baby was born?

AND....the one I dreaded more than that:

"So...what are you doing regarding you and the babies spirituality?"

In the mind of Mr.AssertiveWit Sr. (cause that's where the quick, sharp wit comes from), those two sentences might as well been:

"Why aren't you and that nigga married if yall love each other so much?"

AND....even more rude:

"When are you going to start going back to the Kingdom Hall?"

I love both of my parents dearly but I'm at a point in my life where everything seems to be happening too fast to deal with sometimes. Their prodding questions aren't helping. Sometimes I just wish I was 5 years old again and my parents were the imperfect beings I had heralded them to be. It was simple then...they protected me and could do no wrong. Then you grow up and realize you love them more, despite them forgetting that you've grown older, because they're human just like you.

I think the biggest problem between my dad is that he doesn't want us (his children) to see that he has had "fuck up" moments just like us. My brother is having one right now that my dad can't relate to so it's almost like my brother has to go through it alone because my dad isn't real big on empathy. My sister appears to have the most "FU" moments out of all three of us; she's kinda like Michael Jackson...forever chasing her childhood and she'll never catch it. That's my real life Peter Pan. As for me...I've always felt the biggest mistake I could have made was leaving my home and that protection you don't realize you had as a kid from your parents. Even though people look at my life and think I've done pretty okay, I appreciate it but it kills me inside to know I KNEW I could do better...and I didn't.

So when my dad questions parts of my life that I've always guarded, I wonder if he's asking as to feel like he's fulfilling his parental obligations or if he genuinely cares what I'm going through. I want him to understand that he didn't do a bad job raising us even though we all chose 3 different paths then he ever planned for us. Right now, we need him more as a friend than a father.

Sometimes I wonder if he'll ever be the vulnerable father I always wished for. Just once I want him to be okay letting us (his kids) know that he isn't perfect. As long as he appears that way, I think I'll always get those questions like in the beginning of this blog. They aren't questions he wants to hear the answer to but sometimes I think he still looks at me as that 5 year old he needs to protect....

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No One Can Define A "Good Man" For You But You

What is the definition of a good man? I think any man you are compatible with is the "good man" for you.

One of my friends mentioned a blog she had read in reference to "no good men [being] out there". Whenever I hear women say that, I AUTOMATICALLY think to myself that they are speaking so broadly because the guy they want isn't available to them like they'd want him to be. It's quite irritating because I'm sure each woman who has said that asinine crap thinks they are a good catch...in reality, you probably aren't if you feel that way about the male species.

I've always believed that there is someone for everyone and the person you are with just might not be the one for you if you are constantly having "issues" with them. I don't think some women really look at themselves and assess where they just might be the problem...not the man. I've seen perfectly "good men" turn into someone I would never date because of the person they are dating but I'd never say they weren't a "good man". Some people fail to acknowledge that if you are in a relationship with someone you aren't very compatible with, you will be at your worse in their eyes more often than not. Does that make that individual a horrible dating prospect? No. It just means YOU TWO aren't supposed to be together.

As for the women who are actually on a search for a "good man", I'm curious to know why some of them think none exist. Personally, I think it is because these kind of women want things that have nothing to do with an individuals character. I can tell you what I believe a "good man" is but if your idea of a "good man" resembles someone who makes 6-figures, is on call whenever you want to be fed, does whatever you tell him, etc. then we aren't going to agree. In my mind, we all have the ability to be "good" to someone, we just have to make sure we choose that someone wisely.

I'll use my current situation...

I'm with Babybottoms dad because the things I need in a relationship, he possesses. One of the things that allow us to "work" is that we both have a unified mind when it comes to how we view relationships. The minute either of us choose to look at our relationship differently, we understand that it needs to be discussed. We want to remain on the same page. However, if Babybottoms dad decides he wants to venture into a different chapter of life and I am not ready to go there then we'll more than likely go our separate ways. Does that make him a bad guy? No. It just means we are no longer compatible and if I desire to be in a relationship with someone else, I need to make sure they are on the page of life I'm currently on.

Now, what I am hearing and seeing is a lot of women wanting to force men they are interested in to be on their page of life. If the shoe was on the other foot, they become this angry, difficult woman who doesn't want to have any man controlling them. Because a man acts contrary to what you want in a relationship, it doesn't make him bad. He is still the same guy you were interested in before; you just know now that you aren't compatible and instead of trying to force it by convincing yourself you can mold him into "the man for you", you should just walk away.

One of my aunts told me that I needed to MAKE any man I chose to be with into the man I REALLY wanted. This was the most unacceptable advice I've ever received. Her husband does whatever she wants ALL the time and always has since they've been together. As for me, that isn't the ideal man. I don't want someone I can boss around. I want a man who takes my thoughts into consideration but can make a decision without consulting me as well. I don't desire a puppet in a relationship; we wouldn't get along and I probably wouldn't respect him. Now, the man I want in my life, my aunt would NEVER take 2 steps towards because she already knows THAT ISN'T THE MAN FOR HER. Why can't other women fathom this? It isn't that hard.

I know that sometimes we want what we want but how many of us are ignoring the fact that everything we want isn't exactly what we need? I think a lot of women crying about there not being any good men are pretending this fact doesn't exist. It is possible to get the man you "want" but there is a chance that you will have to compromise; getting the man you "need" in your life requires far less effort. If more women would "look" for a man that would improve them as a person, a lot of this generalizing would cease to exist. However, I've noticed that the same women shouting out that untruth think they are perfectly fine how they are. It's real funny that they don't want to change who they are but expect the man they want, to change who he is to suit their wants.

As much as you want an upgraded man, you have to be an upgrade yourself. If you aren't looking to improve yourself, then deal with the consequences of dating someone who isn't for you and stop complaining. Again, he isn't a bad guy; he just isn't good for you.

I know PLENTY of good men so I don't want anyone reading this to think it's a fact that there aren't any good ones out there. In the future, I hope that adults will choose compatibility in their relationships so this silly chatter about "what is a good man" will die off.

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7 Things About Me You Might Not Know

I got this from @DayDreamGem who originally posted it on wordpress. Have a look at her "7"; they're pretty interesting http://rainbowlens.wordpress.com/2010/01/27/7/ .

1 - When I was a kid, my dream was to be rich and live in a tree house surrounded by books and silence. Not very exciting, I know, but I enjoyed reading far more than interacting with people. My cousin and I had agreed that we were never getting married or having children so this suited my plan well. Somewhere along the road of life I thought I wanted to get married but I think that was because I felt I had to be "normal".

2 - Finding out I was pregnant had to be the weirdest moment of my life. Again, I really didn't plan to have children; they just weren't a priority in my life. Now that she's here, I feel more like a Protector than a "mommy". I don't know if that's "normal" but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to keep her comfortable with having a mother like me. I know I'm a big ass weirdo but sometimes when she looks at me, I think she's glad she got a weirdo for a mommy.

3 - My friends consult me about sex related "issues" like I'm some kind of sex guru. I definitely missed that memo but several of my friends have said I know far more about sex than them. Last I checked, I didn't know more than the average person but maybe I do...all that reading paying off, I guess. Or maybe what I constitute as "general knowledge" really isn't....

4 - I'm not a phone person, meaning, I don't really like talking on it. I use my text messaging, IM, and email way more than the actual phone part. I prefer talking face to face. I've been like this long before social media took over the world. I hate how the phone gets hot on your ear...and how the heat causes your face to sweat all over your phone. It's disgusting. Anyone I've ever sat on the phone and jabberjawed with for extended periods of time...please know that I REALLY like you as a person.

5 - I'm an Extroverted Introvert. I had someone tell me that I had a ton of friends; I had to politely tell them that everyone they've ever seen me with or around is NOT my friend. Since we live in a society where life is made more difficult if you stick out like a sore thumb, I've done what's necessary to blend in at times. However, I think people like me far more than I'll ever like them. I use things like Facebook, Twitter, and my blog to stay connected to the world outside of my brain. I'm perfectly content being by myself but I have friends to remind me that being a hermit is not conducive to a flourishing life.

6 - I have anxiety issues when people are too close to me. I think this is the main reason why I haven't attended too many concerts. When I would go clubbing w/my friends, I didn't get drunk for the same reason they did; I needed to be able to deal with all those people touching me. I just hate feeling confined. A room with 5 people in it can make me start sweating uncontrollably if the room is too small. I need my space. I don't like it when people sit too close to me either. Scoot the f*ck over. Thank you.

7 - Cooking is very therapeutic for me. I don't like cooking with other people though. I'll never ask someone to chop vegetables for me while I'm preparing the other part of the meal. I have to make/prepare the entire meal or I'm not making anything. I don't like helping other people cook either. Cut your own damn vegetables because 9 times out of 10, you're gonna wanna talk. I don't talk while cooking. It's my "quiet time". The only person I've successfully been able to cook "with" is Babybottoms dad. It has never extended past breakfast though. I use my cooking time to think about things I'd otherwise be too distracted to ponder.

The cruelest lies are often told in silence

- Robert Louis Stevenson

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Maybe It's Just Me...

...but I don't think that Sean Combs is "spoiling" his son by giving him a Maybach and a $10,000 check for his 16th birthday. I'll tell you my reasoning behind it.

First off...that's that man and his family so what he does REALLY isn't anyone's business but his. However if my answer was that simple, there would be no need for this blog.

So, the next important reason why I don't think it's spoiling is that if you understand the REAL definition of what it means to spoil a child, you'll see it has nothing to do with Sean and his kids. To spoil your child pretty much means you are doing things to destroy their character that involves "excessive indulgence" (according to the dictionary). I agree wholeheartedly with this. Is it going to damage Justin's character for him to own a vehicle worth more than 300k, as well as, a check for $10,000? Not hardly.

Why?

Because Justin had a larger bank account then some people who worked their entire lives, before he was even 10 years old. He has a genius (in some aspects) for a father who made sure his kids would NEVER go broke. Unbeknown to many people, his father listed him as the Executive Producer on pretty much ANY musical act coming through Bad Boy. Great way to keep the money in the family AND should anything EVER happen to Sean, Justin will ALWAYS be financially set. He has been accustomed to the lifestyle of "the rich and famous" since birth. Nothing is excessive when this is your daily norm. The truth is, you can spoil your child by giving them something that costs $2; if they don't deserve what you are GIVING them, you are spoiling them.

I'm sure Justin is accustomed to riding around in expensive cars that his father owns; he just happens to own one too now. Had Justin used his own money to purchase this vehicle to be chauffeured around in, would you still classify it as him being spoiled? Probably not and if you would, I'd really like to hear why.

Bottom line is, people need to take themselves out of that equation. Sometimes it doesn't add up or make sense to those with lesser bank accounts because they can't afford to even buy that stuff for themselves. But if you could, you would. Not saying everyone would own a Maybach because everyone might not like that car but what I am saying is you would spend money on the things you wanted. For instance, if I had Diddy's money and I chose to have a library built for Babybottom's in her room and I filled it with nothing but First Edition novels, would you say that's spoiling her or that it's inappropriate? Probably not because it's books.

I know for a fact the bank account I have today very well won't be the bank account I have when Logan is 16. Will I buy her a Maybach? Probably not. However, it won't be because it's an inappropriate gift for her. I just don't see the purpose in buying a new driver or soon to be driver a 6-figure vehicle for them to more than likely tear up within the first year of them having it. However, she won't be pushing no 1990 Honda Accord either. Is anything wrong with a used car for your teenage child? Not at all. You should ALWAYS purchase things within your means and what your lifestyle has you accustomed to having.

My point is, if my child(ren) are being raised in a certain fashion, that doesn't change when it comes to me giving them gifts. If I have the money to buy them whatever I want them to have, they will get it...as long as they aren't being bratty heathens.

Being a brat won't get you shat.

Seriously though, who are we to tell a multi-millionaire what to buy his son? Until we have similar bank accounts, it is highly presumptuous to assume millionaires/billionaires should spend their money as though they didn't have it. That's what you do when you got it like that; you spend it. Last I checked, none of these entertainment moguls were going broke due to purchases our banks accounts would cease to exist over.

P.S. - to anyone I was talking to on Twitter about this, I wrote this before I replied to you :)

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Hypocritical Christians

I was raised in what I believe to have been a very religious household. As a result of that, at a very young age, I embraced Christianity. I wanted to know all there was to know about the religion my parents were practicing so I did tons of research every day. I looked through bound volumes of information, cross referenced scriptures in the Bible, and even went to the library to peruse information that could be verified from a non-religious standpoint.

However, since I was a child, I take a LOT of things at face value. In my mind, it was far easier to view things from a 'black and white' standpoint versus always trying to assign meaning to things and getting the interpretation wrong. It worked well until I ran into my first hypocrite. Unfortunately, it happened to be a fellow Christian and for the longest time I could never quite wrap my brain around the fact that this person was a Christian JUST LIKE me but acting SO un-Christlike. This person was a DEVOUT Christian too so it confused me even more. Even though I was young, I held firm to that experience because it made me so uncomfortable. I had always believed that if nothing else in the world seemed right to me, my family and my religion would be my stronghold.

When I brought my concerns to my father, he attempted to get me to adjust my thinking by saying that people would be human and make mistakes; that I shouldn't dwell on their actions when it came to religion but put all my faith and hope in God. It was kind of hard to do when the very people preaching to me every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday about how to live my life according to God's principles were going against the very same things. I eventually let my disdain for hypocrites disrupt my love for my religion. Religion became this big ugly thing that MEN who craved power and control, hid behind. I just couldn't do it anymore. However, the spiritual side of me didn't die. I still believed in the principles I was taught, the truths I came to know based on the knowledge I had previously researched and I swore that I would NEVER NOT acknowledge that there is a more powerful entity than any man on this earth.

So....when I hear people like Pat Robertson or the woman who told me that "nothing good will come of you...or your situation" and I KNOW they are Christians, I am thrown back to that very first experience with a hypocritical Christian.

I can't fathom how people like this justify in their minds that it is okay for them to speak so negatively to another human being like they are God's appointed judge and juror of someone. While there are other religions that have hypocritical individuals amongst them, because this is an acquired human trait, Christians have always been looked at as THE most judgmental religion. I think it is because they take their bashing of other humans to an extreme that is evident would NEVER be associated with Christ's docile demeanor.

Take my example for instance. The woman who basically cursed me, considers herself to be God-fearing and believes she has an unbreakable bond with the Lord. Within hours of "cursing" me she was praying to the Lord telling him to forgive her of her sins because he knows she is not perfect. I've NEVER been able to stomach when people do this. No matter what denomination of Christianity you choose to practice, across the board, it is understood that when you are truly repentant of your un-Christlike behavior, you are to ask for forgiveness from whomever you've wronged and THEN go in prayer (or confession) and ask for forgiveness of your sin. In her mind, just asking the Lord was okay and I should be fine with that too because SUPPOSEDLY, the Lord had forgiven her for being "ugly". However, when you ask for forgiveness, it is with the thought in mind that you are going to STOP what you are allegedly sorry for. Within 5 minutes of her praying for forgiveness, she was still expressing THE SAME un-Christlike qualities. I can't take people like this seriously; especially when they hide behind their religion as their stronghold in life.

Honestly, if your relationship with God allows you to feel okay acting like this and God actually approves of your wonky behavior, I don't think I want to EVER practice Christianity another day in my life.

I mentioned Pat Robertson earlier...for all those who didn't hear by now, he had some truly heinous things to say about the Haitians. As if they haven't suffered enough at the hands of a natural disaster, this clown basically states that they deserve their current misfortune and it is "payback" from something their ancestors did. Again, who made him judge and juror of another human being? NO ONE. He took it upon himself to cast judgement on some people he has never met in his life. How is this hypocritical? He's a televangelist and KNOWS better than to cast judgement on ANYONE. He reads the Bible just like anyone who watches him regularly and I can bet money that he has had some "sermons" about how to treat your fellow "brother/sister"....and here he goes speaking matter-of-factly on a matter that is highly irrelevant to the tragedy occurring. In his mind it's relevant so he wants others to place some kind of importance on what he's saying. This isn't very Christlike behavior either. Jesus had compassion for anyone he came into contact with and he preached about showing love to one another...not judgement, hate, or hypocrisy.

While I've only listed two instances of hypocrisy, my reason for keeping religion at arms length is more in depth than this. I'll never speak ill of the religion I was raised to believe in but I do believe that because all religions are run by humans, there is always going to be something fundamentally wrong with them. I would never speak ill of anyones religion but the things some people do in the name of their religion are truly horrific. This is why I choose to embrace my spiritual side. At the end of the day, if Armageddon comes and God judges me as unfit to live because I didn't put faith in a religion, I will take my punishment unflinchingly.

Until then I'll keep my distance because I can't stomach hypocrisy...

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Get Better Manners!!!

One of my many pet peeves is people who have bad manners. It is one thing to be going through something and have a lapse in your manners; totally different thing to just be rude all the damn time.

After sifting through Babybottoms pictures to submit to modeling agencies, I finally got around to my list of places to call. Growing up, I never wanted to model because I didn't want to be in that environment. It wasn't conducive to my personality at all so it wasn't something I ever wanted to do. I'm only considering it for Babybottoms because unlike me, she LOVES the camera. However, after the rude customer service I received from the top modeling agencies, I damn near closed that short chapter in Babybottoms book of adventures.

Yes, I am putting the agencies on blast because they should do better about who answers the phones.

Wilhelmina Models (Miami office)

*after someone answers the phone and mumbles something that is probably "Wilhelmina" into the phone*

Me: I had a question. I needed to submit_____________

Before I could even get out that I wanted to submit pictures FOR MY DAUGHTER, I was transferred to a general information line...that did absolutely nothing for me because my question was in regards to submitting photos of children NOT adults. After the general information line is finished with its taped recording, it automatically disconnects the call. Now, someone with good customer service AND manners would have waited UNTIL I WAS DONE SPEAKING THEN transferred me or answered my question.

I called the New York office and before that front desk person had a chance to rudely transfer me I said, "Please let me finish what I have to say before you start transferring me because your Miami office did that and I was transferred to a general information line." She let me finish my request and gave me the information I needed.

FORD Models (New York office)

*someone answers the phone and says something that might be "FORD" but it was mumbled"

Me: Is this Ford Models?

Rude Azz: *sarcastically* Ummm, yes

Me: I needed to know which office accepts children models and does the child have to live in NY.

Rude Azz: Where do you live?

Me: Atlanta

Rude Azz: If you're not an adult you have to live within a mile of the agency where you want to work. *click*

No "goodbye", "thank you for calling", "did you need anything else"...nothing but the dial tone.

All I could do was stare at my phone and really contemplate whether or not I wanted to call anymore numbers. I figured I should at least give the Atlanta agencies a shot...

When I called the first one, she let me finish talking before answering and gave me additional information that was useful. Second place I called...same thing. Third place I could have swore I even heard a smile in her voice. It was obvious that even if these women hated their job, you would never know because they had impeccable customer service. I damn near want to call Ford and Wilhelmina or write in to let them know that the women they have working their main line suck and need to be replaced.

While I understand that Ford and Wilhelmina have world renowned reputations that might make their employees think it's okay to do what they want, it's still a business. I'm sure that whoever started these agencies wouldn't want their Front Desk phone being answered like that. I know that I'm not "important" but that could have been ANYBODY calling. Anytime someone is answering a business phone, it should be answered as though that person is a potential customer/client.

Bottom line...have some manners and better customer service at your place of employment...trollops.

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formspring.me

I've succumb to formspring so do your worse http://formspring.me/LVsMommy

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Airing "Our" Dirty Laundry

I am well aware of the "rule" that you are supposed to keep "family business" within the "family" but I've been known to break rules when necessary. Now is DEFINITELY one of those times. Therefore, all of my non-Black/African American readers, if you would like to comment on this particular blog, be careful. Not so much of how I will react but of how others will. I don't want to have to mediate any online f*ckery.

Now, the issue at hand is Blacks/African Americans and the issue of why "we" will support "other" businesses but no so much "our own".

While I cannot speak for everyone who is Black/African American, I can speak for myself and those who have expressed this disdain for doing business with "their own kind". I wholeheartedly believe in supporting "my people" but..."my people" make it SO damn hard sometimes!!! This might sound ridiculous to some of you, but I will look for a Black/African American dentist, pediatrician, OB/GYN, etc. before I go to anyone else. I believe in supporting your own people as much as you would patronize anyone else. There are other cultures/people who build strong cultural ties throughout their communities; Jews, Asians, Latinos, and Africans (not to be confused with African Americans; trust me, Americans operate differently than from where they might have originally "grown" from), etc. Especially within their direct family, they support each other; kind of a spread the wealth amongst one another type thing.

Anyway, my point is, I do make an effort to infuse money back into "my community" when I can. However, if you would like YOUR PEOPLE to support YOUR EFFORTS before supporting "the white man", here are some things YOU might want to work on.

It is NOT cool to mistreat me because I'm your "sista" or "brutha". If I schedule an appointment with you for noon, don't think you can show up 20 minutes late because I'm the same race as you and it's "cool to operate on CP time". Would you do that to a White customer? You sure the hell wouldn't because you know they wouldn't step foot in your establishment again and/or they'd tell other people not to go. So you'll bend over backwards for one race of people and not another? HORRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE.

If you've done business with someone before and exuded complimentary customer service, they'll do business with you again AND refer people to you, in essence HELPING YOU TO MAKE MONEY. Money has ALWAYS been the main objective of any business that wants to grow so if you get a repeat customer, the quickest way to lose them would be to try and screw them over the very next time they come to do business with you. What that translates into for you is this:

NO MONEY.

I'll give you some examples.

Babybottoms dad and I are working on being self-employed more sooner than later. Things are shaping up rather nicely and we are about to enter the "fundraising" side of things. He felt it was pertinent to have business cards because some of the things we'll be involved in will require us brushing elbows with people who need to know who we are. We intended to use the same person who had designed them but we ran into a small problem...bad customer service.

It's ALWAYS a bad idea to over charge someone for services that can easily be attained somewhere else AND an EXTREMELY bad idea to over charge if you previously worked with them under the principle of "what you can afford". If this customer could only afford a particular amount the last time you did work for them, what kind of damn sense would it make to try and charge them three times as much now? Did you think they would forget what you charged them last time?

Unfortunately, this is what we had to experience. The upsetting part is/was that we were trying to "support our own people". Instead of putting money back into "our community", we had to find someone who would do what we were requesting. You know that quote, "you get what you pay for"? It is ABSOLUTELY true but if I know your work is GOOD whether I pay you $300 or $850 and I only have $350 and you tell me you'll take that, that's what I'm going to pay. ESPECIALLY when you guarantee your work is THAT good that I'll be satisfied. So we found a place that did the cards for SIGNIFICANTLY less AND...better quality. It's a damn shame...

The other examples have to do with dentists. I decided to patronize this Black/African American dentist; actually, I decided to do it twice, with two different dentists, and it was a fail each time. The first time, she was 2 hrs behind then she let her assistant do everything; didn't introduce herself once. The procedure was to remove my wisdom teeth. I stopped her in the middle of pulling out my first tooth because she wanted to argue about the pain I was feeling. She wanted to convince me that I was just feeling pressure. Ok. I wasn't aware that pressure felt like someone Ginsu knifing their way through my gums but yeah, ok. She calmly insulted me some more before I just got up and left.

Second time, different dentist but same manner of waiting when I arrived. They didn't acknowledge me until I had been there for 45 minutes. When I asked what the hold up was, I was told that everyone had taken a late lunch and they'd be back in 30 minutes. What in the world would possess you to take a late lunch when YOU KNOW you had a customer coming in? I'm finally seen and they are watching some talk show and talking over me while my mouth is held open with them jaw instruments. I'm sorry, it's bad etiquette to be hee hawing over a customers open mouth AND even worse to call other employee's in to watch the television program. Would you really be describing your club outfit to your fellow employee over a White customers open mouth? No you wouldn't. You'd put on your best "professional voice" and get their procedure done so they can go on about their way. I had to endure this during my entire cleaning.

Third bad dentist experience was endured by Babybottoms father. He had to get his crown fixed and the dentist basically let the assistant do everything. While it was just a temporary crown for the next 3 weeks, are you really gonna put it on crooked, not sand it down, and have it be bigger than his other front tooth? NEVER...and I do mean NEVER, will you be operating a business thinking it's okay to send people outside looking like a Sabretooth tiger. Then...as if that wasn't enough bad customer service for one day...Babybottoms father's crown came off while he was talking.

#wheretheydothatat

I just fail to believe that this dentist would treat Warren Buffet the same. I honestly believe that he just might provide the service for free because of who Warren Buffet is. However, this is how "my people" want to act about something as serious as me exchanging money for a service you actually learned how to do. Not only do I expect it to be done right, I want service with a smile. Is that REALLY asking too much???

So now that Babybottoms dad called and said he isn't coming back in and stopped payment on the crown, NOW, the dentist wants to be accommodating talking about "come in now and I'll fix everything". Really? Come in at almost 7 pm when we're about to eat dinner? How about, no AND...he's going to a different dentist and guess what they are? Yeah, not Black/African American.

It's frustrating but "my people" can we PLEASE do better about how we treat each other? If you want "your people" to support you and your efforts, treat YOUR PEOPLE like you would any other patron that is paying you for a service. Business is business; leave that jive turkey talk and act at home.

Again, I'm not in the business of putting out online fires so everyone be civil if you feel the need to comment on someone else's comment. I know it's a sensitive subject...dirty laundry always is.

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Interracial Dating

I have yet to discover one reason for liking MediaTakeOut; they are that nosey neighbor/friend/onlooker who speculates what they believe a situation to be based on some photographs and then they gossip about it on their website. Sometimes their information turns out to be true, other times, you just want to stab them with a pencil so they'll have something else to do with their time other than gossip about famous people who probably hate them.

Babybottoms dad frequents two online grape vines; MediaTakeOut happens to be one so it pops up when you open a new tab in the browser. I decided to click on it today and then was IMMEDIATELY sorry I did. I saw one of the captions say:

"IS THIS APPROPRIATE???? NAACP Chooses Three Actors Who EXCLUSIVELY DATE INTERRACIALLY To Host The Upcoming Image Awards"

Really MediaTakeOut? Out of all the "news" you could report in reference to the upcoming NAACP awards THIS is what you choose to focus on? So it's appropriate that the NAACP will allegedly be handing out an award to The Real Housewives of Atlanta? If you were SO concerned about representing all this BLACKNESS, did you forget Kim Z. is Caucasian and she's on the show? The Real Housewives of Atlanta aren't even ALL housewives; only 2 of the 5 women are even married...ummm, don't you have to be married to even take on the role as a houseWIFE? Right....

BUT INSTEAD, here is MediaTakeOut making a big deal about who Tatiana Ali, Taye Diggs, and Wanda Sykes date/marry.

It irritates me when I see people get up in arms about other people dating someone outside of their race but in the same breath want to talk about discrimination, racism, and prejudice. I suppose in their small, trifling brain, they've convinced themselves that they aren't playing a part in this ongoing issue of race. However, NEWSFLASH: YOU ARE!!!

THAT'S what is inappropriate. The millions of people who frequent MediaTakeOut's website could be influenced in a positive way, instead, they choose to further perpetuate an ongoing problem...concerning themselves with things that are not significant issues.

I grappled with the idea of unfollowing a real life friend on Twitter because of his OBVIOUS disdain for interracial dating. He had no problem broadcasting this on Twitter for everyone in my timeline and his, to see (we both have "locked" pages). I was appalled because I've known this guy for almost 10 years and "dated" him as well. I never once saw his disgust for white people. It came flaring out once Tiger got caught up cheating on Elin though. His opinion was that she deserved to be cheated on because she wasn't Black.

Ummm, NEWSFLASH TO YOU IDIOT: Tiger isn't 100% Black.

So for individuals who are sired by people of different races, do they AUTOMATICALLY become ONE RACE, even though they might have SEVERAL different nationalities coursing through their veins? If one parent is Black, does that mean that you, the multi-ethnic child MUST only date Black people or it's a direct slap in the face of ALL your Black ancestors? Get the hell out of here with that idiot logic!!!! If you are Black and both of your parents are Black and all you've ever been attracted to are Black people, wouldn't it stand to reason that a multi-ethnic person just might be attracted to EVERYTHING they are mixed with? Who are you to take that "law of attraction" from them because you're a close minded peon who believes any ounce of Black blood makes you 100% Black and that is the ONLY nationality you can date?

My take on interracial dating? Date who you want, when you want, however you want.

I do not measure a person by the nationality of who they date. Love does not have a skin color attached to it so why do people INSIST on believing in this kind of foolishness? Every individual is entitled to feel as they do about THEMSELVES dating outside of their race but when you begin to force your own opinion of it on others, you're only making an ass of yourself. Granted, you can find people w/similar attitudes towards interracial dating and convince yourself that it is appropriate to hate on people who date outside of their race but that doesn't make it okay.

If anyone was wondering if I date outside of my race, the answer to that is, I haven't but that isn't because I wouldn't. I will consider dating anyone who is attractive to me, REGARDLESS of nationality. Do I have a preference? Of course, as most people do. However, I do not let my preferences dictate how others should date and I definitely don't let my preferences create a tiny box for me to sit in.

So, for all of you who are still acting like it's a sin against God to date outside of your race, get over it and stop contributing to the race issue that doesn't ever seem to go away!

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Are You Enslaving Your Own Thought Process?

I've heard and read people referring to "the slave mentality" as though that's an excuse to be a grown individual, making mistakes that could very well be avoided. At the end of the day, we all know what is socially and morally "okay" so my belief is that WE ADULTS can only blame our environment and ancestor behavior so much.

It is almost like (in some people's minds) if you can't date "right", get a man, think for yourself, hate white people, this is simplified by saying "well, we did experience over 300 years of enslavement". Ummm, yeah YOUR ASS didn't experience no damn slavery. While it might be true that SOME of your people MIGHT have experienced it, do you even know WHICH of your ancestors did? Have you ever done ANY research on your family to see WHO were the slaves? Have you talked to your family about how they got over that hurdle in life and did better for

themselves? Or are you just perpetuating an excuse a lot of African Americans/Blacks prefer to use to be intentionally ignorant?

I'm sure there are some people reading this thinking to themselves, "STFU and die please" but nothing cuts worse than the truth. Sorry.

I haven't delved past my maternal great grandmothers history because it isn't anything I'm interested in. I'm not interested in who possibly owned either of my parents grandparents; from what I already know, my "family" wasn't shat no way. My great grandmother was forced by her parents to marry some man old enough to be her grandfather and as a result of THAT union (when she was BARELY a teenager), my Granny was born. Granny then went on to have my uncle, aunts, and then my mom. My mom had my sister, me and then my brother. I had Babybottoms. The end.

Seriously, I can't see, for myself, what knowing about "our owners" is going to do for me when my own family allowed my great grandmother to be married to some man for breeding purposes. Some look at that "exchange" as a dowry; I look at it like my great great grandparents enslaving their own child. ANYONE who thinks that's ok, can I say you have a slave mentality? Because that's what it is....to sell someone so you can make a come up. They had no idea if their daughter was going to get to her "new home" and be treated well or like Celie (see: The Color Purple). I'm thankful for being born in 1979 and NOT 1897, I can tell you that much!

Don't get me wrong, I do believe that there are some people who are mentally enslaved but at what point do they NEED to become responsible for their own thought process? We are living in a day and age where if you have nothing else in life, you've always got the power of knowledge.

There are books that are easily accessible...the worldwide internet can be researched for unlimited amounts of time...and of course personal family history you can get from your existing family members. All I'm saying is, don't create a crutch where one is not needed. The statement "free your mind" couldn't be more applicable. Are you going to sit back and allow centuries of control dictate what you do with your life TODAY? Please don't settle for a slave mentality when you have a properly functioning brain...being a free thinker is probably the most liberating experience ANYONE can have. I suggest everyone, regardless of ancestry or skin color, try it on for size. If it doesn't suit you, you can always revert to the ignorant slave mentality that you might have grown accustomed to. Free thinking isn't for everyone, so I hear.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes.
-- Jawaharlal Nehru

www.assertivewitwithatouchofsarcasm.blogspot.com

http://www.thegeminimagazine.com/index.html

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I Miss My Myspace Blog

I was reading some random blog by a Canadian and it made me think of
my blog on Myspace that I created back in 2004. I started out with one
faithful reader...she was Canadian. I didn't know this woman from a
can of paint but she read each and every blog I published on Myspace.
Even when she took her Myspace "breaks", she made sure to let me know
she'd still be reading so I needed to keep writing. SHE was my target
audience, as far as I was concerned but she didn't expect me to cater
to her reading preferences; she was comfortable with any and every
thing I wrote.

I often wondered what made her a loyal reader and my own family
members rarely paid attention. I had several friends who wrote blogs
or felt compelled to start one and they'd constantly rally for
readers, never once becoming a regular reader of my blog. It was all
good though because I had my faithful Canadian reading my every word.

The more writing I did, the more my blog would get randomly circulated
and I acquired more readers who would patiently await my next post.
While I never wrote to get readers, the appreciation some people have
for your writing is priceless and the genuine people...they made me
want to share more every day. It was that genuineness I found on
Myspace that gave me a warm and cuddly feeling about THAT particular
blog.

However, as I attained more readers, my target audience began to shft
and so did my readers. I started being associated with the "black
bloggers" and that wasn't what I really wanted. I just wanted to write
and whoever liked it, hey, read at your own risk. It didn't quite work
like that. As a result of that, I became a little too involved in the
retarded blog world and my writing just wasn't therapeutic on Myspace
anymore.

Well, today I thought of that blog and the Canadian...I might just
have gotten the boost I needed to get back to the writing topics that
kept my blog seperate from the typical "black blogs".

So, thank you Canadian, wherever you are. I think you knocked over my
writers block for me :)

--
Sent from my mobile device

Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes.
-- Jawaharlal Nehru

www.assertivewitwithatouchofsarcasm.blogspot.com

http://www.thegeminimagazine.com/index.html

Continue reading...

Testing, Testing, 1, 2

I tried setting up mobile blogging...if this posts, that means I was
successful!

I lose so many good blogs out of my head every night and I need a
quicker way to jot things down. My brain is in constant Overdrive
since my insomnia has returned.

So welcome to my future lack of sleep induced brain farts.

--
Sent from my mobile device

Facts are facts and will not disappear on account of your likes.
-- Jawaharlal Nehru

www.assertivewitwithatouchofsarcasm.blogspot.com

http://www.thegeminimagazine.com/index.html

Continue reading...

You Scratch My Back, I'll Scratch Yours

I write in my blog for creative purposes only.

Granted, everyone starts writing a blog for various reasons but mine was constructed to keep my brain fresh for my other writing (screenplays, novels, etc.). Therefore, I don't do much "advertising" of my blog. I don't hide it in the least bit but you won't catch me shoving it down anyone's throat either. So, it kind of irritates me when people, who I KNOW NEVER read my blog, TELL me to read theirs. It becomes more irritating when I have people set up in my Blog List and I'm alerted whenever they post a blog but they STILL will find some kind of way to say, "Have you read my new blog?"

Please....give me a chance to read it, first and second, don't ask me why I didn't comment. I probably didn't have anything to say and sometimes I don't want to leave a "LOL" or "good blog".

Sometimes it becomes obvious that the same person who wants to ask you if you've read their blog probably hasn't read yours because you aren't some popular blogger or gossip site. The reality about blogging is, just because you have a blog, it doesn't make you a good writer, or even a writer for that matter. There are some blogs that I read because they entertain me; other blogs I read because the author REALLY is a good writer.

I pay attention to certain things when I read blogs and if I'm too distracted by these things, I will more than likely stop reading the blog altogether. For instance, grammatical errors that are obviously made because yo azz don't proofread or spell check before you hit "PUBLISH POST". Granted, if I know the person offline, I might still read their blog from time to time but my interest might not be there 100%. My attention has to be arrested if I'm going to take the time to sit down and read anything because I have a lot going on during the day...Babybottoms being 90% of what's going on.

This is not just limited to blogs; people ask me all the time if I've checked this out or that out that they are doing or involved in. There is nothing wrong with self-promotion but if you can't relay anything I've written in the last 3 months back to me, don't bother. I don't think people realize how self-important and arrogant that is. If you want people to be interested in what you are doing, you've got to be interested in what other folks are doing. It's the universal cycle of things. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

So, if you want to fix your lips to ask me if I've supported your efforts at anything, please make sure that you are supporting me as well. Thanks!

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*Sigh*

None of my family have had the privilege of meeting Babybottoms in person...because we all live in different states. However, I did do my part and alert family members as to my due date, as well as when she actually came into this world. So far, the only grandparent of mine who has taken any interest in my child's existence is my mother's mom. That grandmother has been there for me for pretty much EVERYTHING so I didn't expect anything less but I'm kind of salty about my other two grandmothers.

My dad's biological mother didn't even acknowledge the baby shower invitation I sent her, nor did she return my phone call. She has no problem calling and paying attention to her other grandchildren though.

My dad's stepmother....she's the one I REALLY want to hit over the head with a brick. Because she's so damn old and bitter, I'm going to give her a pass. My sister recently moved around the corner from her so I asked her to show our grandmother the pictures. When my sister let our grandmother know that I had a baby her response was so evil. The first words out of her mouth were, "Is she married"; after my sister replied she said, "I guess she went out and got herself a baby just like you". To be honest, I might have hung up on her had I been on the phone. My sister handled it pretty well though and stated that while we weren't raised to have children out of wedlock, the baby is here now and that is what the family should be concerned about. Our grandmother went on to say some more nasty things about us and our children. I'll probably never talk to her again.

I know my grandmother is old and miserable because of her current situation but there are people like her who aren't old and I will never tolerate their behavior. She didn't even want to know my daughters name. While it kind of hurts, I just focus on all of the people who love Babybottoms and who have been supportive of her birth.

And people wonder why my friends are more like family, then my blood relatives....

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Self-Control is NOT a Gender Bias Attribute

When we found out I was pregnant, we IMMEDIATELY hoped for a boy; months later, we found out we were having a girl. I had a tinge of disappointment but when the doctor told me she was 100% healthy, my disappointment faded and I was still just as happy before I knew the gender of my child. My reasoning for wanting a boy was that it would be easier and I wouldn't have to deal with "female" issues. You can be rough with boys; you have to be more gentle with girls. Sugarcoating would be a thing of the past with a little boy; with a little girl, I'd have to be sensitive to her feelings.

The more I thought about the supposed differences between raising a boy and a girl the more I saw that it had been deeply ingrained in me to treat boys different from girls, in a LOT of aspects. Is this fair? Hell no but I think as a society, people are conditioned to mistreat boys on an emotional level because there was/is this belief perpetuated that any male who shows too much emotion is considered homo. Mind you, no one takes into consideration that anger is an emotion but it seems that is the only emotion people automatically associate with men.

This in turn got me to thinking about the things that females can get away with that males are made to feel downright awful for.

I'm a fair person so I'm sure it wouldn't have taken long for me to realize I needed to make some adjustments...if I'd had a boy. I think God made the right decision by giving me a girl. I came to this conclusion after witnessing so many women in my Twitter timeline who REALLY and HONESTLY feel that domestic violence (when it's the man abusing the woman) is NEVER to be tolerated BUT when the roles are reversed, it becomes a laughing matter.

I've never thought it was hilarious for ANYONE to put their hands on the next person OR a persons belongings. I wholeheartedly believe in self-defense, regardless of it being man on man, woman on man, or a man on woman attack. Think about it...what kind of world do we live in where it says as a woman, you are free to defend yourself if someone attacks you but as a man, if you defend yourself against a woman, you are AUTOMATICALLY guilty until proven innocent? Mothers who have sons...you do realize that can possibly put your son in a compromising position one day? Sisters who have brothers...think about if his girlfriend or even just some female he was entertaining felt the need to put her hands on your brother and/or his belongings...should he just have to sit there and get slapped in the face, punched in the jaw, ran over by a car, or have his stuff vandalized?

Just because someone is a male, that doesn't mean their feelings cease to exist and they feel no pain.

I read a blog about domestic violence and some of the comments were totally absurd to me. So absurd that if I see ANY comments on this blog where it turns into a flat out disregard for men who have to deal with this, I will delete your comment. This is a serious issue to me because one wrong move on behalf of ANY man and he is EASILY labeled a woman beater for the rest of his life. What if he was simply trying to keep a crazed chick out of his face? According to our f*cked up justice system and some clearly biased women, it doesn't matter because he's a man and is stronger.

Being physically stronger does not mean ANYONE gets a right to hit you AND that has to be the weakest debate point I've ever heard in my life. A lot of women want to be viewed equally to men but when it comes time to measure out the equality in this area, there are a lot of women who cower in their gender as though women MUST be viewed as the weaker sex in this instance. Sorry fickle minded women...you can't have it both ways. You can't be shouting to the rooftops about having equal opportunities when it comes to men and then want to bend the rules when it comes to showing self-control.

It isn't funny when a man puts his hands on a woman, REGARDLESS of the reason just as it is EQUALLY not funny when a woman decides she's going to lay hands on a man. If it makes a man a punk for allowing a woman to hit him and he not hit her back then the same goes for a woman who does not defend herself; she's a punk too. Personally, I do not feel that a person who does not retaliate is weak. It sincerely bothers me that some women will choose to do things to provoke a man to wrath just so that it can be later said that "he still didn't have a right to hit me". While she is correct with that statement, I fault ANY woman who chooses to destroy a man's ego and/or property because she's upset. If a man busted windows out and keyed a car, slashed tires, and/or got his sister/female cousins to whoop your azz, it'd be a problem but it's okay for us as women to involve our family/friends in a violent situation and/or vandalize property because we're upset? It isn't fair and regardless of what you tell yourself so that you can sleep soundly at night, you and your actions are wrong if you behave like this. What I fault women who do asinine shat like this for is THEIR lack of self-control. You can't DEMAND that men have an attribute you are CHOOSING not to display either.

My mother raised me to talk things out with people. My father raised me to keep my hands to myself BUT to NEVER let someone hit me and think that was going to be the end of the situation. I came to a happy medium by reasoning with people first; if that was not good enough and I felt for even one second someone was about to swing on me, I swing first. I AM NOT ADVOCATING VIOLENCE OF ANY KIND HERE. I just believe every person should have a right to defend themselves, regardless of their sex.

So when I look at my daughter, I think about all the things I have to teach her. She has to learn that just because she is a woman, she doesn't get special "rights" that men don't get. Regardless of this being a "man's world", I want to instill the kind of values in her where she can decipher right from wrong and realize that she doesn't get any passes simply because she is "the lesser sex". I want her to treat people how she would want to be treated; if she doesn't want/like anyone just swinging on her, then she needs to learn to keep her hands to herself too. I don't want her to hang around other little girls that think it's okay to smack little boys and then tell on them when they get their ponytails yanked. As she gets older, it will become young ladies and women who condone abusing men but crying when they get abused.

It's tough being a parent and the more I look at my daughter, I realize that it doesn't matter whether I had a boy or a girl; it would still be up to me and my partner to raise them with some common sense. Let's hope that all my years of raising her isn't destroyed by the simple minds of others.

P.S. - for anyone who wants to use statistics as a reason we should care more about abused women than men, please, spare me; just because some numbers show that women are more victimized by violent acts, it doesn't mean it's okay for women to abuse men or that it should be ignored. If you have a problem with that, think about other statistics. There are statistics out there of Black people who are wealthy and live great lives. So because those statistics exist, we shouldn't care about the Black people who aren't wealthy and living in impoverished urban areas? No matter what side of the coin you are on, your life and well-being STILL matters.

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Secular Music is The Debil! (channel Waterboy's momma)

If I hear one more person try to convince me or anyone else that the A-listers of music are all Satan worshippers, I just might spit on someone.

A while back I wrote a blog about Beyonce's recent videos and her lack of creativity because they all seemed to showcase her pussy poppin skills...not really dancing. You know as well as I do that we ALL can do her dance moves...while having sex. Sure, it'd be rough sex but it could be done. She's no Janet or J.Lo (don't fixate on Janet's outfit or J. Lo's fall during the previous awards; all shade aside, you know them heffas can dance better than you and most folks); she's more of an around the way girl who knows how to move those big hips her momma gave her. But I digress...after posting that blog about Queen Creole on Blogger, I chose to post it as a Note on Facebook.

*sigh*

Someone I went to high school decided it would be the opportune time to post a few YouTube links in regards to the occult having something to do with The Roc and Beyonce. I withheld my initial response (initial response: STFU please. Thank you.) and asked if he created the blog and the videos with which he was sharing. His response? Absolute silence....as it should have been because I am positive that information was not anything he had researched himself. See what I mean about people being easily led? Think for yourself dammit!

Anyway, the information he chose to digest, he also chose to share with others, I suppose in an effort to get people to feel the way he does but I don't. All of these allegations about certain people with a certain amount of celebrity being Satan worshippers? I'll pass and I'll tell you why.

If these people making these accusations had proof, and I'm not talking about them attempting to attach occult symbolism to Kanye's hairdo, Rihanna's eye makeup, or the color of Beyonce's dress, I'd put my side eye away long enough to do my own research. I don't feel the need to BECAUSE their alleged "proof" is SO suspect! These people are clowns; I'm sorry but that's how I feel. Seriously, if The Roc is part of an occult backing, why aren't you focusing on Dame Dash too? He too was affiliated with The Roc (helped created Roc-A-Fella) and still does business under the name, somewhat (see: BlakRoc). But no, it was ONLY specific people targeted.

Along with accusing JayZ, Beyonce, Rihanna, and Kanye of being disciples of Satan, they keep saying that Masons are part of the Illuminati and blah, blah, blah. Of course, this too is based on some symbols that OTHER organizations use as well BUT...no one is calling them Satan worshippers. I do believe the sorority of Delta Sigma Theta, uses the same damn triangle as The Roc hand symbol that can be attached to the Masons, the dollar bill, and Delta airlines. So am I not supposed to book any airplane flights with Delta? Am I not supposed to use USA currency because I am doing transactions of a demonic nature if I touch paper money? If my daughter decides she wants to pledge as a Delta, am I supposed to deter her from that course? You see how utterly silly their symbolism is? VERY.

I've also heard some foolishness about Satan being the King of Music in heaven (when he was there) so it makes sense that he is controlling these musicians. I've asked EVERYONE who has said this EXACTLY where that is stated in the Bible. I have yet to get an answer and if that is the case, should we be listening to ANY music? If we are gonna call someone Satan's henchmen, why can't it be Gucci Mane or Wacka Flocka? I hate them (not really, but you get my point LOL). Also, what if you aren't a reader of the Bible or even a Christian? Does the demonic influence still apply? Religion does the most at times...

My point to all of this foolishness is please don't be that person agreeing with these other celebrity morons about A-listers being Satan worshippers. Tiffany Evans, go get your proof that they drink each others blood and maybe someone will listen to you. Frankly, you just sound jealous. Omarion, you shut up too. If either of them had Kanye or Beyonce's money, they'd be somewhere on an island chilling, not worried about the next person. I've never been able to tolerate people who can make accusations but when you ask for proof say lame shit like "Oh, if I told you, I'd get in trouble" or " I can't tell you who told me". Well if you can't, why are you talking to me or anyone else for that matter? You've already cast doubt in many people's minds because, regardless of your level of celebrity, you still have fans who listen to you. Now, a lot of them HONESTLY believe what you're saying. So while you're busy trying to expose someone else, you're leading people down a path that they need to research themselves....especially if you can't provide substantial information that what you're saying is actually the truth.

As long as no one is saying kill babies in the name of Christ in their music when you play it backwards, I'm listening to it. Music is and has always been another form of entertainment to me. I do not take lyrics and apply them to my life as though they were written for me and I need to do EXACTLY what's in the song. I have better sense than that and I hope to the Almighty being above, you do too.

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I Swear I'll Be Back To Blogging Soon!

My blogging has been on a hiatus because I've been consumed with my little person, Babybottoms. I always knew being a mother was a full-time job but now...I KNOW all the work that is required just to make sure my little grub gets enough food and rest each day. Being laid off sucks because I'm left with my measly unemployment money but I'm kind of glad I have this time off to be with her while she's so young. I get an opportunity many mothers only wish they had.

I've been hesitating on writing anything because I knew it would start out with me talking about my baby. How typical! I got over it and finally decided to write.

In the midst of caring for the kiddo, I've had time on my hands to watch things on youtube while I'm feeding her that I never would have looked twice at; in between feedings and diaper changes, I've been somewhat entertained by the buffoonish grown folks on Twitter and Facebook. After LITERALLY laughing out loud at some of these characters, I looked at a calendar to make sure I didn't miss Babybottoms next doctor appointment, only to see that I'll be 30 on Sunday.

It isn't that I forgot, per se, it just hasn't been as important as I thought it would be. Everyone has been in my ear about DOING IT BIG for my 30th but seriously....how big can I do it with a 2 month old? Ain't gonna happen.

I felt this overwhelming sense of irresponsibility when I began to think about going out of town for 1 day. Just yesterday I had a doctor appointment at 10 am and then a hair appt at 12:30. I left the house at 9:30 am and didn't return until 3:30 pm. That just about killed me! I missed her like crazy! So how in the hell am I going to leave her somewhere overnight? Can't do it yet.

So my 30th will be spent with Babybottoms dad; dinner and a movie. Simple? Sure and I don't mind at all. Tonight one of my dear friends is taking me out to dinner and I think a few others might meet up with us but I'm honestly not salty about it. My 30th bday is still pivotal in my life history...my first child was born before I turned 30 ;)

In the last 9 months, I have learned to appreciate the little things in life a lot more than I did before. Seeing Babybottoms smile in the morning during playtime on November 22nd will be a pretty good birthday gift, as far as I am concerned. Sure, there are things that I want that folks could buy me for my birthday but no gift will compare to my little bundle of joy I get to nurture and influence for the rest of my life. Children are supposed to be gifts from God and I thank him everyday for mine. I've got the perfect kid for me.

I had to get this out so I can get back to work on the rest of my writing. My arms are usually full of her so now that I have a free moment, I needed to jump start my creativity. Maybe she'll stay sleep long enough so I can finish up my True Thoughts column.

Feel free to keep up with me in Gemini Magazine:
http://www.thegeminimagazine.com/index.html

I'll be back to my usual ranting and raving soon folks! :)

Thought I'd share the sunshine that I get to see everyday, with everyone (see photo below). Isn't she the cutest??? (I'm not a bias mommy; if she was oogly, I wouldn't even be talking about her hahhahhaa)

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Natural Elitist...Please Sit Down and Shut Up

NEWSFLASH: just because you do not have a relaxer does not mean your quality of life is any better than mine...or that you love yourself more than I do...or that you are Blacker than me.

The truth is, regardless of the texture or "state" of your hair, it STILL takes effort to keep it looking presentable. Well, unless you are that person who prides themselves on wearing a ponytail everyday (even though you have a relaxer) or wearing that thirsty looking afro because you want to brag and boast that you don't use anything but juices and berries in your hair. Get over it...it being yourself AND your hair.

I have read TONS of blogs and comments on natural hair and some of the things that people insinuate and believe, in regards to hair, are UTTERLY ridiculous. It has NEVER made any sense to me when women pride themselves on not relaxing their hair but wear nothing but STRAIGHT WEAVES. You might as well cut all your REAL hair off and wear a bangin wig because no one sees your hair on a regular basis...not even you. I want it to make sense, I really do but it just doesn't.

As for the belief that the reason Black women relax their hair is because they want to look like White women...kill yourself. YOU might want to look like another race but don't speak for me or anyone else if that's YOUR retarded thinking. I am comfortable in my own skin, even though it happens to be Black. As far as my hair goes, I relax my hair because I don't WANT to grow out my natural hair and wrestle with it every day. When it is short, it is a breeze to deal with; when it gets past my shoulders, it's a bit of a drag...WHETHER IT'S RELAXED OR NATURAL. Just because it takes you no time to run your fingers through your natural hair, that doesn't mean THAT is the same experience for ALL women with natural hair. I don't like to walk out of my house looking a hot azz mess so it takes me some time to do my hair, WHETHER IT'S RELAXED OR NATURAL. Point here, EVERYONE'S hair (regardless of its "state") is not the same.

As for this belief created by some insecure moron that "good hair" is when you have a less kinky texture...you're an idiot. I have tons of friends who have so called "good hair" and STILL have a difficult time with their grooming. They have to deal with tangling, frizz, cowlicks, and other hair issues that someone with "bad hair" has to deal with also. I've heard them talk about how much they hate their hair because it is not very easy to manage. Just because the grass looks greener on her head doesn't mean it's any easier to comb, you sad pitiful wenches.

Whatever happened to self love? Okay so you hate YOUR hair. Deal with it. Find a style that suits your face, head, "look" and go with it. If it happens to be natural, embrace that and move on. Don't sit there and create reasons why women who relax their hair are exuding deeper issues within themselves that date back to slavery. Really? If that allows you to sleep at night after moisturizing your TWA (Teeny Weeny Afro), I guess.

I've never pondered on the women who choose to wear dreads, afros, and/or non-relaxed hair. Someone elses hair is not my concern and I most definitely don't IMMEDIATELY think that you are trying to reach back to your ancestors and show reverence for what they experienced through your hair. It's NEVER that serious. Really, it isn't. I guess the people who have all these theories for women who like their hair straight have all the time in the world to list them.

Point is, worry about YOUR reasons for why you do what you do and stop spending so much time accusing, speculating, and being a know-it-all about some damn hair that doesn't concern you. Also, all the women who "felt some kind of way" about Chris Rock's movie Good Hair, really think about how much energy you are giving to that movie. It's a man's perspective on hair....a comedian males perspective. Please tell me you aren't taking ANYTHING he says seriously. As for the women (read: celebs) in the documentary who contributed their 2 cents, I wouldn't lend much credit to ANYTHING they say either. Let them get the right movie role and one of the requirements is that she has to relax her hair; she'll be the first person in the salon asking for the creamy crack.

As India Arie said, "I am not my hair". Therefore, stop analyzing hair so much and concern yourself with something worth worrying about. For me, that's Babybottoms.

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Daddy...Getcho A** Off Facebook! Please and Thank You.

*sigh*

My dad is on Facebook. I know, I know...FML.

The ironic thing about it is that it is my fault. I was attempting to keep my parents and Babybottoms other grandparents in the loop with the baby pictures. I thought it would be much easier to send them a link to the photo album. What I wasn't aware of was that Facebook takes the opportune time to suck non-users into their vortex by asking them to join but they say it like the person MUST join if they want to see the album...sneaky bastards.

So my father joins. Dammit...

When I call him to see why he now has an account, he tells me that his first thought when it asked him to join was " I don't wanna join this stupid network". Really? But you did it anyway...I liteweight smell some false words hear. He goes on to say how he's gonna delete the account after he sees Babybottoms pictures.

The REAL funny thing about how I found out he had the account was one of my brothers old friends he grew up with sent me an email asking if it was my dad or brother sending him a friend request. Dad...you aren't slick. If you were deleting your account why you sending friend requests to folks? If you don't getcho tail off the internet playing games.

So I go to his page the other day because my cousin sent me a friend request and I noticed that we had 3 people in common. I see my two older cousins....then the third person is my dad. Daddy....YOU SAID YOU WERE DELETING YOUR ACCOUNT!!!! WHY ARE YOU STILL ON FACEBOOK???? BEAT IT!!!

Something told me to go see if he had added other people...this fool got 18 friends. I almost want to send him a text message asking if I look like an idiot to him and then I see this face that is unfamiliar to me. Out of his 18 friends, this woman is the ONE person I've NEVER seen before. I know I'm in Georgia and he's in Texas but he was getting the major side eye over this...who is this random woman in your friends???

I click on her picture and her profile is private and then it hits me....THIS IS THE EX-GIRLFRIEND FROM WHEN HE WAS A TEENAGER...THE ONE HE BROKE UP WITH MY MOM FOR. Yeah...this is some foolishness and I know he had to go search for her because his friends he has are mainly family and the ones who aren't family don't know this beezy.

I told one of my friends and she told me to dry snitch on him to my mom.

I did think about "accidentally" sending my mom a Facebook invitation...then I thought about the drama that might ensue from that and quickly decided against it. Granted, it could be innocent but best believe I got my eye on my dad's wall from that point forward. He's on my stomping grounds now and would want to act right before I have to set it off in this biotch....

FYI, for everyone who is like "Ummm, doesn't your parents read your blog", the answer to that is "No" and this one most certainly won't be getting posted on Facebook neither hahahhahahaa

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Just A Day in My Life...

After much deliberation and sucking up of my pride, I decided to take advantage of "the system" that I had been paying taxes to for 15 years. Since I was laid off work during one of the worst economical times, I figured it wouldn't hurt to get W.I.C. and food stamps since I have to eat and so does the kid. If I hadn't been pregnant when I got laid off AND able to get another job right away, "the system" wouldn't even have been a thought passing through. I HATE government agencies because of how they treat people but...I'm no fool and I aint going hungry...neither is Babybottoms.

So until I find gainful employment that will provide for her and myself, this is helping out LOTS.

My hatred for government agencies has always stemmed from their lack of acknowledgement that the people they deal with EVERYDAY are REAL people. They treat EVERYONE who applies for "assistance" like they are all living in the hood and that they are all ghetto. Take for instance the 2 young women who were sitting in the waiting area when I walk up to take a seat.

The young lady that was there collecting her W.I.C. couldn't have been any older than 15...I am sure she isn't the only high school student in Atlanta who comes to this office. Her conversation consisted of who she was going to get to babysit her 3 mth old daughter so she could go to the football game this weekend. Within the same 15 minutes of that discussion with her friend, she says that school aint that big of a deal for her but she is going to stress the importance of an education to her daughter...huh???? The conversation pauses for a minute for the other young lady to whip out 2 cell phones and she quickly states that one is her boyfriends that she "stole" while he was sleep...strictly for the purpose of reading all his text messages, emails, and checking his phone log. Mind you, they are being HELLA loud about these asinine conversations....and then the conversation just got ridiculous.

Anyone who can sit IN A GOVERNMENT AGENCY and say out loud that their 4 year old cooks fried chicken and boiling noodles for spaghetti needs an overly healthy dose of common sense and act right. The 15 yr old says quite loudly that DEFACS needs to be called on her friend but laughs it off when the friends says that the 4 year old uses the microwave to cook so it's okay because he knows not to put metal or foil in there...you can't fry chicken in the microwave, 1, and 2....this does not make it okay, you unfit mother. I wanted to kick her in the ovaries so that she did not have the ability to sire anymore children.

So I can understand WHY some government agency employees work with the blank, rude stare like, when is this day going to be over but EVERY person who walks in is not like this. Like me...

After speaking to a woman and being told that I have to sit and wait until this other lady comes to work, I start sending Babybottoms dad messages about the loud youngsters across from me. In walks 3 Latin women, one has a son.

Now, anyone who lives in Atlanta can tell you that yesterday morning, it was chilly outside. I had my jacket on the entire time I was in the office. So please explain to me why this little boy that was with one of the Latin women had on sandals, shorts, and a hoody???? Please explain that.

He was just sniffling his life away and I felt bad for him....until he started coughing like he had tuberculosis...on my arm. I prayed to the sweet baby Jesus to keep me from backhanding him AND his momma into the parking lot outside the window. I have a 3.5 week old baby at home. I DO NOT need, nor WANT, your nasty ass germs on me, lil heathen! So I give him the ice glare and he turns away like he just shat his pants. The little boy is so sick, I can smell the cold seeping out of his pores. All I could think was lord please let me get out of here so I can get some Airborne and Lysol!

I was told to get to the office at 9 am....I look down at the time on my phone and it's 9:30. I can't sit next to this walking germ for another 30 minutes but I don't have a choice really. I had a c-section so standing really isn't an option and there aren't any chairs left....dammit.

FINALLY, the lady I need to see comes strolling in with McDonalds and coffee in her hand...at 10:10 am. For real? This is what we do? We come to work an hour late? Yet another reason WHY I hate government agencies. As if her being an hour and 10 minutes late is not enough, this heffa decides it's a good idea to eat her food before seeing the people who came in to get their vouchers (I am one of those people). We were ALL enraged by this but the thick plexiglass between her and us gave her a sense of security that allowed her to continue eating in our faces.

The lady I initially saw told me at 9:30 am to wait until my name was called and then decides to check on me when she sees I'm still sitting there at 10:15 am. She asks me if I signed my name on the clipboard to be called. I feel like giving her a blank stare because she knows I signed my name on that damn board...she called my name off the board to talk to me when I first came in! I still politely say that my name is signed and the lady JUST got in 5 minutes ago so I'm waiting on her.

She finally calls my name around 11 am. I walk up to the counter and all she asks me was what my daughters name was, then sends me back to my seat. 10 minutes go by and she calls me again to ask me what my full name is. Mind you, she has ALL this information in front of her so I have no idea why she is asking me for shat she already has. Did I mention I had a c-section? Yea, all that getting up and down, not what's really good. So I inform her that I had a c-section and I would appreciate it if she needs something else from me to ask me now because the up and down is not the business. She gives me that well practiced government agency glare and goes on about her business. She doesn't tell me to have a seat or that she'll be done in a minute but I decide to stay at the counter. She finishes up about 7 minutes later and says, "Now I have to do the same paperwork I did for your daughter, for you. Can you stand that long?"

I ask her how long my paperwork is going to take and when she lets me know 10 minutes or more, I go sit down. She doesn't call me again until 11:30 and I am SO ready to leave by this time.

By the time I walked out of that building, it became my resolve to look for employment with a government agency because someone, somewhere has to make a difference. Granted, the people who come into the agencies needing assistance might not always be to my liking but hell, they need help too and just because you're ignorant as hell, doesn't mean you deserve to be treated like a lesser human being.

Sorry, this was more of a rant about my morning at the W.I.C. office than anything else LOL

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Indignant Fools

Last I checked, Morehouse College was a PRIVATE institution for MEN...did that change within the last few weeks/months/years? If so, please make me aware...that's right, it hasn't changed...AT ALL. So with those two facts still standing, someone please tell me why ALL these WOMEN are up in arms about the dress code...no arguments have made sense thus far.

When I was in high school I can remember some of the kids from nearby private schools complaining about wearing uniforms but I PROMISE you they had better test scores than the public schools. As odd as this might sound, education was the main concern and when you aren't worried about what you are wearing to school and whether or not you're "cool", it frees up more time to focus on what's important...YOUR EDUCATION.

The keywords in the above paragraph are: private schools.

Am I the only one who KNOWS what that means? In public schools, there are certain things that are allowed across the board because we live in a politically correct society but guess what happens in private schools? They make rules and anyone attending has to follow them. End of discussion. Frankly, I think that the dress code is in line with what Morehouse claims to want young men who attend their school to be..."renaissance men". Is it so wrong that a MEN'S COLLEGE wants its attendees to represent the school in a particular manner? No. When these young men enrolled at Morehouse, it was clear what was represented there and if it wasn't, they always have the freedom to go learn elsewhere.

I think the biggest uproar comes from this part of the dress code:

"no women's garb"

But again...this is a MEN'S COLLEGE so what is wrong with making that a part of the dress code? NOTHING AT ALL. This is all in an effort for the Five Wells to be implemented on campus:

"well read, well spoken, well-traveled, well dressed and well balanced"

When I read that part of the dress code, I didn't automatically think that they were hating on students who were outwardly homosexual. The other things that were listed as "no-no's", I looked at as distractions...just like I would if a man walked into class with a dress, purse, and pumps on. My attention would be just as diverted from the professor if some clown walked in like it was Halloween the same as if some idiot decided not to take off his pajamas, wear shades, and a doo-rag to class. I would equally wonder what was wrong with both of these men.

I wonder if the same women who are upset by these dress standards would be upset if Morehouse decided everyone would wear loafers, khaki's, vests, and button ups. But again, I say...IT'S A MEN'S COLLEGE...WHY IN THE F*CK DO YOU CARE ANYWAY???

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When I Say "Thank You", You're Supposed To Respond With "You're Welcome"

Since my last blog I posted I've had a baby and my entire body has gone through numerous changes. I've started writing about 5 blogs only to save them and never go back to finish. Changing diapers, feeding the kiddo, and nursing my "wound" (I had a c-section) consume my day to day process. Even when I get a few minutes to write or finish what I started, I doze off and wake up to a little fist nudging me, signaling that the next feeding is supposed to be taking place.

According to Babybottoms dad, "it's a piece of cake"; I told him to say that after his stomach muscles have been cut through and then he has to pop a tit in a baby's mouth every hour (yes, my baby is greedy as hell). It is not a piece of cake but when she smiles, no lie, it's worth all the pain (sometimes....LOL).

So you would think being consumed with this little face below, I'd have nothing more to think about than her...wrong. I have a pretty active mind and since I have more than enough time on my hands, I started going through all the gifts I received for her.

I started my thank you cards but never got around to putting them in the mail so I emailed the people who got me gifts. No one replied. How rude, right? I stopped caring about them not replying after 2 seconds...the people I was confused about not replying were the folks who haven't spoken to me in years that sent gifts.

When I say they haven't spoken to me, it's been due to them disappearing out of my life for God knows what reason or I've decided they weren't as a good a friend as they thought they were and I distanced myself....either way, those people are not obligated to buy my child anything. They aren't even obligated to acknowledge she's alive....so I find it VERY weird that they decide to care enough to buy her a gift and then go back to being "dead" when I say thank you. This makes me feel like I've wasted gratitude on them and it makes me wonder what they sent the gift for in the first place. Did you send it as a segue to opening our friendship back up? Did you send it to make yourself look good or like the "bigger person"? Why did you send MY DAUGHTER something if you were just going to ignore HER MOTHER?

It makes no sense to me and it comes across as rude...

Some people might say, "Well, if you weren't speaking already, why do you care?", the truth is, I didn't care....until they sent their damn gifts. By them buying her a gift, I have the option of accepting it and then HAVING to be cordial/nice and saying thank you OR declining the gift and expressing to them that since they can't speak to me any other time, please don't buy my daughter stuff. Unfortunately, I quickly become the bad guy if I choose the latter option...

I was just raised with manners and "you're welcome" is just as mannerable (is that a word? I don't care) as "thank you" so it makes me go hmmm...

Anyway, I should be back to writing in a bit just lately the things I've had an opinion on might light some folks short fuses and I don't feel like hearing foolish retard statements regarding common sense type things at the moment (i.e. President Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize).

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Seriously, Let's Be Honest...

I know the majority of people who peruse my blog saw the showy display of foolishness Kanye exhibited last night so there is no need to recap exactly what he did. What I want to talk about is all of the people REALLY acting like what he did was ok and that everyone should just laugh it off as just another Kanye moment.

The truth is, he KEEPS behaving like a clown ass fool because no one has hauled off and punched him in his mouth yet. One good sock to the dome and I bet he'll stay in his lane.

Now, regardless of who you might personally feel should have won that award, don't let that be the reason for you pardoning disrespectful acts towards another person. First off, if you don't listen to country music, it would make sense that you would not have voted for Taylor Swift. If you are a Beyonce fan, it would make sense why you wouldn't have voted for ANYONE else in that category but ANYONE who CHOOSES to stand before someone and say NOTHING was wrong with what he did...that makes you an ass clown too.

Imagine if that was one of your children...hell, if that was you! You or your child has the opportunity to express gratitude for winning something for the very first time and some jackass comes up and ruins THE ENTIRE MOMENT by saying someone else deserved to win. First off, THAT IS AN OPINION, NOT A FACT TO BE USED IN A NON-DEBATABLE ARGUMENT. Personally, I do not think Beyonce should have won the award because I didn't like that video...and the song is an anthem far too many women sing in an effort to FORCE a man to give them something they 9 times out of 10 don't deserve. Yeah, Beyonce has a ring but did you ever stop and think that MAYBE she deserves it? You scallywag, who does nothing but bitch, complain, and nag the man you're with, that isn't you. But we're getting off the point...

According to a good handful of buffoons "Kanye said what everyone was thinking". Everyone who? Don't speak for ALL Black people and DEFINITELY don't speak for all music lovers because WE ALL weren't thinking that retard shat. Some people ACTUALLY respect all genres of music, regardless of how much we listen to them, so no, WE ALL weren't thinking that. Anyone who said that, go sit down in the corner next to Kanye for generalizing on some bullshat.

So I am positive that Twitter will be chock full of people commenting on White people's reactions to what Kanye did to Taylor Swift (she's White in case you didn't notice). People...this is an "L" we're gonna have to take because have SOME sense and think about if this was the other way around. Imagine if some BIG A-list White celebrity would have ran up on the stage while Rhi Rhi was accepting an award stating that their "homie" should have won instead. All the racist hates would have come flying out the closet, Al Sharpton would have been called, and Twitter would have been set ablaze with racial remarks about how White people don't want us to have ANYTHING. Am I lying? If you say yes, that makes YOU a liar. It happens ANYTIME someone Black gets "mistreated" in the media.

I'm not saying that today, this week, or this month, White people get a pass to throw every Black person under the bus. No. I have VERY low tolerance for ANY type of unnecessary racially tinged remark coming out of anyones mouth, no matter what their color is. However, what I am saying is if some White people are mad that a Black person shatted on one of their country stars, reverse the roles and realize, they are human beings too.

Kanye caused a mess. Period.

He put Beyonce in a bad position...she did nothing wrong but had to apologize to Taylor to save face, or go down in flames with his silly ass. He owes MTV, Taylor, and Beyonce PERSONAL apologies...not some shat he hastily went and typed on his blog to take some of the heat off himself.

So am I gonna be all dramatic and throw away every cd I've purchased of his? No. I don't throw money away and Kanye's random outbursts do not control my ability to recognize good music when I hear it. However, he does get a permanent side eye until he learns some self-control and chooses to display the manners his mother taught him.

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Takers

I read about this movie a while ago when they had first started the production on it. Chris Brown was being interviewed while he was on the set but I wasn't sure as to how long it was going to take before it came out. With everything going on in his personal life, as well as, Clifford Harris' (T.I.), I wasn't quite sure if it was going to be released at all.

It is set for a February release date and as you can see from the picture at the top, it has an all star cast. I don't read too many reviews on movies because I respect the craft far too much to take some rooty poot assholes opinion about a movie they've never seen and base whether or not I'll be going to see it off that. If you read my blog frequently, you could have gathered by now that I like to view the "big picture" before giving my opinion on pretty much anything. If all things are taken into consideration before you state your personal opinion, you don't risk sounding like a biased asshole...more often than not.

Anyway, back to the movie...I understand the dynamics involved with creating a movie. The first thing that has to be determined is the level of money you are concerned with your movie making. To the viewers, that doesn't really matter so they are USUALLY the toughest critics. If you choose an independent route with more "no name" actors than recognizable ones, you risk not making any money...unless you're Eli Roth and happen to have a penchant so strong for blood and gore you wipe out the box office on your first try (see: Hostel and Hostel 2). The quickest recipe to getting people to come see your movie is to do what the majority of people will be attracted to: faces they know.

You see the picture above. There are 4 Black/African American faces that are easily recognizable due to their popularity factor. However, 2 of the faces have gotten more bad press in the last year than necessary so you know what that means. Before the movie is even released, you're going to have people giving this movie the side eye. When did ACTING SKILLS have anything to do with someone laying hands on a woman or purchasing illegal firearms? One has nothing to do with the other but the general public are, for lack of a better word, morons. True, some people are going to say they cannot support a film that features men who cannot obey the law but in all fairness, the movie was made before Chris had his debacle with Ms. Fenty and before Mr. Harris was tried and convicted of purchasing illegal firearms. These same people using a person's personal life to judge an entire movie would have seen the movie and probably given it accolades had the shat not hit the fan before release date.

I watched the trailer (see below) and it looks to be a very entertaining movie. However, the reviews from certain forums (they haven't seen anything but the trailer at this point either) are clearly based off personal opinions of who is IN the movie. Someone was mad that Matt Dillion wasn't featured on the ad. If you read about the movie and watch the trailer, Matt Dillion is a significant character in the movie but when you have 6 featured stars THAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT, there is no need to put his face up there. Someone felt that since Matt Dillion was a seasoned veteran of an actor, his face should have definitely been on the advertisement. Ok but again, the movie is about 6 bank robbers...umm, not Matt Dillion's acting skills. The simple mindedness of some people irritates me to no end.

The other 2 actors, I feel were decent choices. Personally, I do not think that Paul Walker is a good actor at all. Although, he arrests women's attention; he's nice to look at. It's like putting Megan Fox in a movie. She isn't anywhere as good an actress as say Natalie Portman but be honest...who is more fun to look at? Another marketing ploy in getting your movie to make money; you must put the people out there who are visually appealing, especially when it's an action film. Had this film been centralized around the drama genre, I guarantee you, the selection of actors would be totally different.

Point of my blabbering is, when you consider new movies coming out, look at the movie a little deeper than what you see on the surface. If for nothing else but the people who put time and effort into it; view it for yourself, THEN state whether or not it was a piece of shat. Enjoy the trailer!

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Another Reason I HATE the Media

Ok, so we've all heard the jokes and carrying on about how unattractive Caster is. Truth is, everyone can't be pretty or even cute so that isn't even what this blog is about. Big deal, the girl isn't cute but then again Venus and Serena weren't either until they decided to spruce themselves up...entirely different blog to clown around about.

Back to Caster...

The results about Caster's gender are in and instead of the media TACTFULLY addressing the issue by offering a simple statement of "Yes, she's a woman", they put her on RIDICULOUS blast. But then again, when has the media EVER been tactful about anything pertaining to the personal lives of others? Rarely, if ever.

I used to work with this older lady who shared with me how she was a medical anomaly, so much so that her situation was used as an example in a medical journal in the country where she is from, as proof that medically, weird things do happen to people. She had 2 sets of female reproductive organs but only 1 set could carry a baby full term. Some science fiction shat, huh? But all true. In her situation, she had a choice as to whether or not she wanted the world to know about her condition...Caster had no choice whatsoever and it is almost as if the public feels more entitled to an explanation than to express any type of humanity towards her and give her some privacy.

I'd be embarrassed as hell if I'd been living as a woman ALL my life and here comes the media to tell the ENTIRE WORLD that even though I have a vagina, I can't have babies and I'm more of a man...on the inside. Imagine all the relationships she's had...if she's been involved with simpletons who would translate that as "I had sex with a man"...imagine the harassment she's about to receive.

The people who initiated this media circus around her, get to go home and sleep comfortably in their beds with their families...the media are on to the next person to harass all the while, never stopping to consider how their portrayal of others ultimately affects them once their shatstorms have ceased around the person.

I understand the whole freedom of speech thing and since I am a writer myself, I am sensitive to censorship on certain levels but the media just gets OUT OF CONTROL and no one is there to enforce ANY kind of rules on them. The media is free to report suspect information, causing one-dimensional minded people to form all these rumors and "what ifs" about people they don't even know. The media NEVER has to apologize for their outlandish behavior...NEVER. They report untrue things ALL the time and then brush it off as though it was a simple misspelling on an entrance exam.

This is a BIG reason I began to steer clear of journalism and decided interviewing "stars" was not for me. The public's blood thirst for foolishness far surpasses their quest for knowledge and truth. This situation with Caster wasn't about SINCERELY finding out IF she was a man or woman; it was another source of entertainment to many people and THAT'S sad.

I think I've run out of words on this situation because it infuriates me so much...

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Honest Friends Are Hard to Find

I used this picture in one of my old MySpace blogs when I was writing about The Bestest leaving me for Florida. I stumbled on it today when I typed in "best friend" during my random photo search....

I read a blog today that made me think of something my dad asked me when I first got pregnant. He inquired as to whether I had told all my old friends yet and if I planned to. At the time, I planned on telling 2 of them, when I got around to it. The 3rd one (who I no longer consider a friend) I didn't plan on telling ever and that was the one my father was alluding to the most. He knows I'm not speaking to her and I don't plan to any time soon so when he said, "Are you gonna tell the baby to call her Auntie Evil Cousin (not her real name)", I knew he was being his sarcastic, non-humorous self.

The Peacemaker of my old crew tells me to "kiss and make up" and it would be something to consider...if I knew it wasn't just a never-ending vicious cycle that was going to be started all over again.

When you're a kid growing up and you have your best friends, not a day goes by that you think "oh, we're all going to grow apart so let me cherish this friendship while I can". You think more delusional things like "NOTHING IS GONNA SEPARATE US...we're gonna be in each others weddings, raise our kids together, and grow old together". Then reality settles in while life is happening...you grow up and unfortunately, some of you either grow apart or ignore OBVIOUS personality clashes to preserve the friendship.

Things unfortunately change...

This is what inevitably happened to the 4 of us...the other 2 still speak to the one I don't and they have their reasons but when I'm friends with someone, I'm REALLY their friend so no matter how much it would make everyone else happy for me to do it, I can't.

No really, I'm not talking about some "oh, you're friend #42" sh*t...some REAL, hey, I can be myself with you and you can be yourself with me. As a friend, I'll allow you to go in on me, when necessary, because I value what you have to say to me...but that door has to be open for me too. Otherwise, we don't have a friendship at all. I expect those we are friends with to understand that and if they have a problem with you, they should go to you and tell you, not talk about it to others...not talk about you to others; like you two aren't friends. That's ALWAYS hurt me about some of the people who call each other friends that I've been mutually acquainted with.

That isn't being honest...and it sure as hell isn't being a friend.

Aside from the 3 chicks I grew up with, there are some other people I would have loved to share my entire pregnancy with because I truly cared/care about them but no matter how old you get, it's still a hard pill to swallow that just because you were once REALLY GOOD friends, it doesn't mean it'll stay that way. Some of the GREATEST memories I have in life are of being with people who I haven't talked to in at least 2 years. I will ALWAYS count those as good times and as much as I HATE the saying "some friends are only for a designated amount of time", the kid in me still wants to stubbornly hold on to the fantastical idea that despite all the BS, you should still manage to be friends with certain people. Not everyone...just the people I REALLY liked at one point in time.

Now that I'll have a child to raise, my own personal issues have to be laid to the wayside. Anyone I continue to be friends with, I think about in reference to her. This bundle makes me second guess EVERYTHING and apply it to her. She really has become my life...and she isn't even born yet. I'm not going to be one of those maniac mom's; I just operate more like it's "Synitta and Babybottoms" vs. my old take on everything which was just "Synitta". I can only be around people who don't mind being a permanent fixture in our lives because...well, I guess the over protectiveness is kicking in and as long as I can prevent her from feeling like something is missing, I will. So people who she'll be seeing all the time, I want to feel like they'll be there forever...not just for a period of time until them and I "fall out" again.

I guess the point of all this babbling is...no matter how much I might miss or care about certain people, I know I'm not friends with them anymore because they just aren't the friends for me.

I'm about to go see my friend Stef's new baby in a second...she's definitely one of those people I'll be growing old with. I've known her since we were about 18 and even though we don't see each other ALL the time, our friendship has been solid since day one because we've ALWAYS been honest with each other about everything...you can't buy or manufacture friends like her...

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Everybody STILL Hates Chris

So Chris Brown's PR thought it was a good idea for him to visit CNN and chat it up with Larry King. *sigh*

I understand that public apologies are in order because he is a public figure and blah, blah, blah but it is OBVIOUS that no matter WHAT he says or does...everyone is STILL gonna hate Chris. Chris could drain his body of every last drip of blood for some dying child that needs a transfusion and there will still be that peanut gallery section with signs saying "He STILL aint shit". My question to the general public who has SO many opinions about an OBVIOUS one-sided media perpetuated situation is:

ARE ALL OF YOU WITHOUT SIN SO MUCH THAT YOU CAN CONTINUE TO THROW THIS FOOL UNDER EVERY MOVING BUS? WHAT IF THIS WAS YOU? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF EVERY TIME YOU OPENED YOUR MOUTH SOMEONE WAS THERE TO SHOUT "shut up! you're STILL wrong"?

I think he gets it people...he did something wrong; stop beating that hella old azz horse.

Yes, I've cracked my fair share of jokes but in all realness, I look at him no different than I would my brother or any of my guy friends involved in a HIGHLY volatile relationship. Men will be with someone that isn't necessarily the best choice because they LOVE how she makes them feel...until she starts catting off on his azz. My brother is going through the same things with his broad right now; the chick has put more scratches and cuts on my brothers face then should EVER be allowed but he won't leave her crazy azz alone. She's called the police 4 times (to my knowledge) to LIE and tell them he hit her...even though he's the one standing there bleeding and she has not one scratch, he gets carted off. That's the system folks. He told my father the other day, "She's gonna make me hit her, man". He hasn't hauled off and mauled her yet but I know my brother...when he does, she's gonna wish she never met him a day in her life. Is it right? HELL NO and if the police take him to jail, hey, your bad buddy. Can he prevent it? Yup; stop fooling with the crazy banshee...but you can't tell these kids shat these days...

Because I am able to REALISTICALLY look at all angles of this situation, people mistake that for me condoning Chris' behavior. Never that! NO ONE (this includes MEN AND WOMEN) should be putting their hands on ANYONE to get their point across and two wrongs DEFINITELY don't make a right (i.e. she hit me so I'm hitting her back). I just want people to HONESTLY look at this situation and stop ignoring IMPORTANT facts that would influence how they reacted in a situation if they were standing in his shoes when all the shat popped off.

I'm not a victim and I REFUSE to let ANYONE make me feel like one OR to begin acting like one. The media wanted Chris portrayed a certain way and the public fed into it; it isn't anything out of the norm but a LOT of people should be ashamed for ALL the judgement being cast around. I'm going to be one of the few honest people left out here and say:

If a dude hits me, I'm hitting him back or grabbing something to hit him with. I don't need to go get my girls OR tell my brother or guy friends to come put hands on him. That's my knee jerk reaction to being hit, BY ANYONE. Honestly speaking, that's MOST people's reaction to being hit...it's called self-defense.

So in what alternate universe is it okay for any man to not have a knee jerk reaction but ALL women get that reserved right? FOH!!! Again, it isn't right for me or him to haul back and hit anyone but it's a response that MOST (if not all) people have when confronted. AGAIN, THAT ISN'T ME CONDONING VIOLENCE AMID THE SEXES....it's me admitting to being human and understanding that if someone hits me, I'm going to want to hit them back. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...

Society has insinuated for SO long that women are the "weaker sex" and sometimes, we as women, fall in line with that ridiculous projection based on how it will benefit us. If someone walked up to us and said "you ain't sh*t because you're a woman", we'd be pissed to no end, ready to start a revolt about women's rights. However, it's okay to just let some dude pummel your face and it's okay to sit in the background in the silence and feel sorry for yourself? No ma'am. You can't preach strength one minute and the next be acting like a scary azz little lamb. FOH, for real!!!

PEOPLE need to stop putting so much energy into hating Chris and look at what can be done to prevent this from happening ACROSS THE BOARD. If the dude apologizes and says it isn't gonna happen again, STFU AND LET HIM MAKE GOOD ON HIS WORDS. If he can't manage to keep his hands to himself thereafter, THEN judge him as a person. Until then, stop acting like these celebrities don't breath oxygen, shat in a toilet, and have effed up relationships...just like you.

I'm going to find the article that stated Rihanna wasn't the only one with some facial wounding but I have a feeling that really won't matter to some people. In every drama filled celebrity situation someone has to be the antagonist...unfortunately Chris, it's ALWAYS gonna be you in this case. As far as I'm concerned, BOTH parties need anger management classes AND need to get their act together. Since he is so young, Chris can bounce back from this if people would treat him like the human he is and allow him to grow from his mistake. Rehabilitation for any crime that a person commits is usually where you can determine whether or not the person has learned from their mistakes and if they have the ability to turn around from their wayward course. Give him time to rehabilitate, sheesh!

I guess what everyone who STILL hates Chris has to ask themselves is, are you willing to let him live after this or do you have more buses you want to throw him under?

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What In the Hell Is YOUR Damn Problem?

When Babybottoms dad and I first started being friends, I would sit in awe at some of the women who would be so enthralled with who they THOUGHT he was or who THEY thought he had the potential to become in THEIR life. We discussed his "conquests", past, present, and any future plotting he was up to. Our friendship was being built on mutual trust and something he'd rarely found in people...the ability to be completely honest and up front, regardless of how the person he was speaking to felt. I don't ask for much in friendship...just be fair to me, don't lie, and respect me. If you do all three of those things in ANY relationship, mutually, I PROMISE you, you'll end up with the best friend you could possibly have...not unless you're dealing with a person who prefers lies to the truth.

There were some things he's done in the past and was doing when I first met him that I could have EASILY judged him on but eff it, that's the life he wanted to lead. I made it clear that although I didn't condone his retard moments, as long as it wasn't directly affecting me, there was no need for me to get all up in arms about it. His life, his issues.

A year into our quickly budding friendship, we had our bump in the road. His selfishness inevitably ran over into our friendship; since it was affecting me, I had every right to speak up on it. The closeness we had formed wasn't one he wanted to let go of. I was ready to walk away and leave our friendship behind because there are just some things you don't do to someone you call your friend. Needless to say, getting past that and keeping our communication open has made our friendship and bond THAT much stronger.

Three years later, some people still don't understand that and it isn't up for discussion. We are friends because WE want to be...nothing more, nothing less. To date, he has not done anything else to jeopardize that between us. I look at him and I see a best friend for life. For those who might be acquainted with him on a surface level (which MANY people are), they judge him...and now since we're having a kid together, they judge me.

I don't really care about the judging part...it's the incorrect statements they spout to others that rubs me the wrong way.

Because some women's agendas for him were on some other planet, they have projected their typical foolishness they'd participate in onto me. Hearing things like:

"I guess she got what she wanted"

"You know she's only having that baby to keep you"

"Well, she won"

pisses me off to no end because ANYONE who REALLY knows me KNOWS, I AM NOT THAT KIND OF WOMAN.

I wasn't raised to behave foolishly like that and regardless of what other women conjure in their mind, I deal in REALITY. It's an insult to my upbringing to hear someone accuse me of this kind of thing. It infuriates me, knowing what I know about the trash of a woman who said these things.

I didn't win a damn thing having a baby out of wedlock and any woman who looks at relationships like that needs to have her head examined. Raising a child is not something you wake up and excel 100% at. I have 18 years set in stone that I am responsible for another human being other than myself, regardless of her fathers involvement...THIS BABY HAS BECOME MY SOLE PURPOSE FOR LIVING. Sure, her dad is still an important figure to me but next to me ensuring I do everything within my power to keep breathing, she is my next #1 priority....not him. Some women do convince themselves that giving birth to something they sired with someone else will manipulate a man into giving a damn about them, unfortunately, they are incorrect. The truth is Babybottoms dad gave a damn about me LONG before she was even in the "making".

Some women are truly pitiful and I wish nothing but sanity for them. To speak ill of me because what you thought you could have with my daughters father has become obvious that it will NEVER exist, is childish and proof that you have a lot of maturing as a woman AND a person to do. To think, this same woman writes notes on Facebook (and previously, blogs on MySpace) about "sistas coming together and not hating on each other". NEWSFLASH STUPID BIOTCH: you're being a hater.

I think my "therapy rant" has come to an end. Maybe this trollop will find AND RETAIN a man that can tolerate her controlling, nagging, psychotic mentality. Sure, you can doll up your physical to ensnare any man but if your mental is still the psycho biddy you were when you lived in Atlanta, you'll be alone all your life. To hate on someone else because what you wanted, you didn't get...is sad but typical of your pathetic life thus far. You live in New York, find something better to do with your time than coming to Atlanta and talking sh*t about a situation you are just jealous of. FYI, being jealous of my situation makes you look silly because even if you were on the other side of the fence, your grass would still be that dingy, dry ass, fucked up brown you have right now...because you aren't me and like Babybottoms dad told you, "you aren't built for the rain".

To get some green grass of your own, you don't have to be me...just work on your faulty azz personality. It's been 2 years, get over it, and live a life suitable for you. Trust me, you'll live...

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Death By Mini Blinds

One of my friends emailed me a couple links enclosed in an email with the subject "Watch your little ones around mini blinds!!". In the body of the email she said:

"I'll warn you that the video is a little scary...Nothing tooo gruesome, just very eye-opening"

Now...before I give you my personal opinion on children and mini-blinds, here is the link to the video and my mother's response (who has 3 adult children and 1 grandchild who have NEVER strangled themselves with mini blinds):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1TOJvinCQA

"That is the most wasted stretch of footage I have ever seen. First of all, mini blinds are not toys for tots! Second of all, no one has to have them as window treatments. Last but not least, keep your stupid kids away from the blinds and shorten the pull strings if you're really concerned. This has nothing to do with the mini blind makers. People need to stop trying to make other people pay for their lack of supervision over their own children. Tots will be tots. They are busy as bees. Always moving around and getting into everything. That being the case, if you can't watch them lock them up. Play pens, leashes and depending on the age, swings tend to work. As I said before mini blinds are not the only solution for window treatments. Good old fashioned curtains have been around and still are. Besides children do not need to be near the window anyway. What if the critters break a window and it falls out? I guess then the makers of the windows will be sued... Parents need to own up to their lack of responsibility and remember that as my mother always said, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure". In other words use precautions in all things, but especially with a small child."

Now...before my mother even replied to my email I sent her with the video and news story, I felt it was ridiculous myself. I know MANY parents who've ALWAYS had some form of blinds in their homes and NONE of their children have been strangled or died from the cords. Why? Here's a newsflash for parents who are SO CONCERNED about the welfare of their child:

THEY TIED THE CORD UP OUT OF REACH OF THE CHILD!

And for those meddlesome children who want to be all in the blinds like that cat above, parents of those children kept a closer eye on their kids. If the kid didn't want to stay away from the window, guess who was getting swatted on the butt?

Growing up, my parents had a ton of precautionary measures not just because there were children in the house but also because we grew up with a dog. If people can think far enough ahead to tie up the cord so their pet can't get a hold of it, don't you think, as a parent, you should think the same for your busybody children? I would think so. As my mother also stated, what is your kid doing near a window anyway? Some people might take that as a parent being far too paranoid but demanding a recall on mini blinds from these choice manufacturers isn't? I agree with my mother; this goes back to parents accepting responsibility for what goes on in their house with their child.

If you watched the video, you'll see that the mom was busy videotaping the baby and had no idea her dingbat son was in the living room strangling himself with the damn blind cord. Lady, you weren't watching ALL your children and one got into something that you could have prevented. Instead, she blames the manufacturer of the blinds.

The truth is, many parents let their children run amok in the house because home is safe...to them. Another newsflash:

THE HOUSE IS A SAFE HAVEN FOR YOU; NOT ALWAYS SO MUCH FOR A SMALL CHILD!

Things that we as adults don't consider to be a danger, well they are for small children. We know better than to eat Comet, drink bleach, and rub ammonia all over our skin. Does a baby know? Not so much. So you might need to lock up the cabinet with your cleansers in it. You know that pounding on a window isn't such a good idea but your toddler or even a child up to 5 sometimes just likes the noise it makes so it is never a good idea to leave your kid standing on the couch, pounding on any window. If they can stand up in their crib, hey, maybe it's time to move their crib away from the window. That would solve strangulation by cord AND the chance of them beating a window out. Stairs? Not a big deal to an adult who can walk up and down. A baby just learning to walk, even a kid 4 and under, maybe not such a good idea to leave them playing on the stairs when you're in the kitchen. If the child falls and breaks their neck, is it the carpet manufacturers fault? No, it's yours for not paying attention. Doors? They aren't exempt. If your child has managed to learn how to open all the doors in the house, you might need to install different handles or locks they can't undo. Nothing would be worse than little Johnny, who is 1-4, opening a door, walking out on the balcony and falling off to his death. Is it the door knob makers fault? Nope. If you're upstairs and the kids are downstairs with NO SUPERVISION, they are liable to get into anything.

Babybottoms is my first child but even when I watched my nephew, I made sure we were ALWAYS in the same room when he was little because 1) he was a mischievous boy and 2) kids get into anything they can get their hands on.

Point is, for all the parents who are leery of mini blinds, use damn curtains and please...stop blaming other people for the lack of attention you pay to your small children.

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